Talk:French cruiser Jurien de la Gravière/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 22:57, 6 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:57, 6 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs
What evidence is there that File:Soissons. 2e grande canonnière fluviale. Pièce de 164.7 - Fonds Berthelé - 49Fi379 (cropped).jpg has been published? PD-old-70 suffices.
- None, but it appears the images in that collection were uploaded with some sort of template that I don't really want to mess with. It should probably be PD-US-1996 (but I don't think they use that on Commons)
  - I take your point
the southern coast of the Ottoman Empire A little too vague. Anatolia, the Levant, what?
- Clarified
Move the link for long ton to the first use
- Done
Each engine was placed in individual engine rooms. singular-plural disagreement
- Fixed
Link foremast
- Is there a point to that? Foremast just redirects to mast (sailing), which is already linked
  - I'd missed the earlier link.
cruising range was to have been was to have been?
- Fixed
  - Umm, Her cruising range 9,300 nautical miles
    - Gotta keep you on your toes, eh? At least that's what I'm telling myself
proximity alert for propulsion system in the first para of the service section
- Fixed
Work on the ship was completed in 1903 The reader already knows that the year is 1903, rephrase
- Good idea
Upon entering service in 1903, Jurien de la Gravière was assigned to the Atlantic Naval Division, along with the armored cruiser Dupleix; she replaced the protected cruiser D'Estrées awkward and missing a period
- Fixed
  - Some repetion in the 2nd para of the service section: By 1904, she had been assigned to the Atlantic Division with the armored cruiser Dupleix
    - Reworded
Clarify that the builder was the Arsenal de Lorient
- Done
She remained in the unit the following year, and was activated to take part in the annual fleet maneuvers that began on 17 July and lasted for a week. 1911 or 1912?
- Clarified
activated to join the active proximity alert
- Fixed
Alexandretta isn't in Egypt
- Should have been Alexandria - don't know how I typed the other one
Trailing comma after Italy
- Good catch
the two squadrons arrived What squadrons?
- Fixed
Be consistent about using SMS for A-H ships
- Done
  - Missed one in the lede
    - Whoops
Got a first name for Mornet?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:29, 9 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Looks to have been Charles. Thanks Sturm. Parsecboy (talk) 20:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
protect it on lengthy from biofouling
- Done
What kind of ship is USS Yankee?
- Added
Link Metropolitan France, Bône, Philippeville, Montenegro--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:28, 13 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- You're just trying to stretch this out, aren't you? Parsecboy (talk) 19:57, 13 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - I think that we were both unpleasantly surprised by what we missed in the first round--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:58, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - No kidding, but then I'm always unpleasantly surprised by what I manage to screw up ;) Parsecboy (talk) 13:08, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - You and me both!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:24, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        And then there's this, which we both missed! Parsecboy (talk) 17:48, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        Details, mon ami, mere details!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:59, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]