Talk:French cruiser Descartes/GA1
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Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 20:11, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
Lead
the unsuccessful search
— It's implied by the lack of further discussion, but the fact that the search was unsuccessful isn't mentioned in the body.- Clarified in the body
Design
a war scare with Italy in the late 1880s
— I think I've asked this before, but is there an article about this?- No, there isn't (or a relevant section in an article)
French Navy
— Link to French Navy?- Done
The Descartes class were
— This should be the "class was", no?- Fixed
383–401 officers and enlisted men
— No breakdown available?- No
She had a cruising radius of 5,500 nautical miles (10,200 km; 6,300 mi) at 10 knots (19 km/h; 12 mph) and 1,000 nmi (1,900 km; 1,200 mi) at 19.5 knots.
— Does "cruising radius" mean how far she could go one one tank of gas (so to speak)? Also, any reason 19.5 knots isn't converted?- Yes, and the speed is converted a sentence earlier
- Perhaps Pascal should be introduced in this section, and are there any comparisons worth mentioning? Of course, most of that is best addressed in Descartes-class cruiser.
- Added a mention of Pascal in the first para, but the two ships were more or less identical, so no comparisons warranted
- That they were largely identical is itself worth mentioning, I think. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- But isn't that implicit in their being a class? The assumption is the classes are made up of generally homogeneous ships - it seems excessive to explain this in every article on a ship that's part of a class
- Yeah, probably. I was thinking of this review, where the boilers were mentioned as varying by ship. But that's probably an exception to the normal rule. --Usernameunique (talk) 14:55, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- But isn't that implicit in their being a class? The assumption is the classes are made up of generally homogeneous ships - it seems excessive to explain this in every article on a ship that's part of a class
- That they were largely identical is itself worth mentioning, I think. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Added a mention of Pascal in the first para, but the two ships were more or less identical, so no comparisons warranted
Armor protection consisted of a curved armor deck
— "armored deck", or is an "armor deck" a thing? Although if there's a way of not using "armor ... armor" that might be better.- Yes, an armor deck is a thing - see any of the mentions here
- Is it a think that could ever be turned into an article? Even a red link could make it clear that it is a specific type of protection.
- That's probably a good idea - we have articles on belt armor, torpedo bulkhead, torpedo bulge, etc, so I don't see why we wouldn't eventually have one on deck armor too.
- Is it a think that could ever be turned into an article? Even a red link could make it clear that it is a specific type of protection.
- Yes, an armor deck is a thing - see any of the mentions here
- No information on the interior?
- Nope
Service history
Descartes reportedly reached
— Why "reportedly"?- That's what the source says - "Descartes was reported as attaining 21.8 knots..."
On 25 October 1900, an accidental propellant fire aboard Descartes, part of a series of fires that resulted from unstable Poudre B charges.
— The sentence is missing a verb. Any more information about the fire?- No, I don't have any information on casualties or damage, unfortunately; sometimes these events were reported in periodicals at the time (see for instance French cruiser Forbin, but I wasn't able to track one down on this one)
At the start of World War I in August 1914, Descartes was assigned
— What happened during 1908–13?- There aren't any records that mention the ship during that period
- The first two sentences of the third paragraph jump from August back to July. Is there a better way of phrasing it?
- Reworked
The declaration of war between France and Germany on 4 August interrupted these plans
— Now I'm even more confused. I thought she was recalled home because of the war?- The war started in stages - Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia on 28 July but France wasn't at war with Germany for several days (but just about everybody could see it coming)
- Any more details on the WWI history? Was she involved in any fighting?
- No, no battles of note took place in the Caribbean - Karlsruhe briefly tangled with a British cruiser but that's about it
Notes
- Can "France" be given a different descriptor? It sounds like the country, or someone's last name. At the very least, it should be put in italics (to mirror Service Performed).
- That's the title in the journal - the standard formatting for article titles is non-italicized (as opposed to the journal title, which should be in italics). There's no editor or author of the section listed, so we can't go that route either.
- Shouldn't "France" and Service Performed have the year?
- It's there - look at the end of the citation; formats for journal articles are different than books
- Yes, it's in "References"—but in "Notes", the citations render as "Service Performed, p. 299" and the like, whereas every other short citation (e.g., "Brassey 1908, pp. 49, 53") includes the year.
- Fixed the italics in the notes, but the years for Brassey's is only to differentiate between the different volumes
- Right, I'd missed the ones on the left that don't have years. Looks good.
- Fixed the italics in the notes, but the years for Brassey's is only to differentiate between the different volumes
- Yes, it's in "References"—but in "Notes", the citations render as "Service Performed, p. 299" and the like, whereas every other short citation (e.g., "Brassey 1908, pp. 49, 53") includes the year.
- It's there - look at the end of the citation; formats for journal articles are different than books
References
- A lot of the public-domain works could probably be linked.
- Highlighting this in case it was overlooked. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Is the first name for "Garbett, H." available?
- No, unfortunately
Overall
- Parsecboy, the nomination will probably have to be failed unless you add more specific publisher locations. Other than that, looks good. --Usernameunique (talk) 20:55, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
- That's not in the Good Article criteria and I won't be doing that. Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 17:22, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Parsecboy, responses above. The comment about publisher locations was a joke—sorry if the context got lost along the way. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- I wondered, but you know how they say humor isn't translated well through the internet ;) Parsecboy (talk) 19:46, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, someone once suggested the invention of left-slanting italics to indicate things written in jest—not a bad idea. Left a few comments above, but nothing that requires edits. Otherwise, all looks good except the comment about linking to public-domain works appears to have been overlooked. --Usernameunique (talk) 14:55, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- Parsecboy, I see you've added most of the URLS; I've added the remaining two (of the public domain works), so am passing now. --Usernameunique (talk) 17:56, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, someone once suggested the invention of left-slanting italics to indicate things written in jest—not a bad idea. Left a few comments above, but nothing that requires edits. Otherwise, all looks good except the comment about linking to public-domain works appears to have been overlooked. --Usernameunique (talk) 14:55, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- I wondered, but you know how they say humor isn't translated well through the internet ;) Parsecboy (talk) 19:46, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Parsecboy, responses above. The comment about publisher locations was a joke—sorry if the context got lost along the way. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:07, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- That's not in the Good Article criteria and I won't be doing that. Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 17:22, 29 May 2020 (UTC)