Talk:Freedman's Bank Building/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:46, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 07:43, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Mostly comma fixes and a suggestion to reduce the quote volume in the section about renaming the building. Also would like to see alt text while you're here, and since it's been so long since nomination, you might find more! 7-day hold to APK. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 08:05, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Copy changes

Lead

The construction of Federal Triangle, the work of early historic preservationists, and assistance from President John F. Kennedy and First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy, meant several of the historic buildings on Madison Place were never demolished and the Annex was never expanded. You need a comma after "demolished".

History

On the corner of Madison Place and Pennsylvania Avenue I'd like to see a comma after this long prepositional phrase.
Real estate prices increased considerably after the Civil War and some of the houses on the square were converted to office space or rental properties. Comma after "Civil War". See above.
The new building across from the White House and Treasury Building was built at a cost of $260,000, and designed by architects Norris Garshom Starkweather and Thomas M. Plowman. But the comma here isn't needed. "Designed by architects..." isn't a complete sentence.
Add comma betwee "headquarters" and "with" and "successful" and "with".
...their savings, around $3 million which is equivalent to over... I'd change to ...their savings, totaling around $3 million, equivalent to over...
W. E. B. Du Bois went so far as to say the bank's failure was more damaging to African Americans than an additional ten years of slavery and John Mercer Langston noted "Perhaps the failure of no institution in the country...has ever wrought larger disappointment and more disastrous results to those interested in its creation." A bit long. I'd add a comma after "noted" and drop the "and" after "slavery" for a semicolon to more effectively split it up.
Deposit insurance did not yet exist in the United States so only around half of the bank's customers were able to receive part of their lost funds, but this often took decades. Comma after States
The building was demolished in 1899 and the lot remained vacant for almost 20 years. Comma after 1899 (C in S)
The Treasury Department needed additional office space and plans were made to construct the Treasury Annex on the former Freedman's Bank site. Comma after space (C in S)
85-feet remove hyphen
The Treasury Annex was only one of two Change to "one of only two"
Expanding the Treasury Annex to H Street was still planned until the 1930s when the federal government began constructing the massive office complex, Federal Triangle, southeast of the White House. Two items:

Add a comma after 1930s
Drop the commas around Federal Triangle and change to "the massive Federal Triangle office complex". An appositive should not leave a reader questioning. "The massive office complex southeast of the White House" begs the question "which one?".

By the 1950s historic preservation had become a more popular idea with locals and with the help of local activists and the Committee of 100, plans for redevelopment were delayed. C in S: comma after locals, plus a comma after 1950s for reading purposes
facing Jackson Place and the Howard T. Markey National Courts Building Comma after Place
John Hope Bryant of Operation HOPE, Inc. asked... Add a comma after "Inc." to complete the created appositive.
Comma after "noted". (I know you also use colons in some of these, but I prefer commas.)
I wonder if it's possible to reduce the usage of quotes in the renaming section. It causes Earwig to report a 52.5% (rather high) similarity to a 2016 Washington Post article, that and one or two other quotes in the same area resulting in higher-than-ideal quote percentages.

Design

The windows on the first floor feature wrought iron grilles and ornamental iron spandrels are between the third and fourth floor windows. Comma after "grilles", and given the use as an adjective, hyphenate "third- and fourth-floor".
I wish there was more on the interior, but as you noted, those details seem to not be reported in sources.

Other items

References are archived.
All images, and the video, are appropriately licensed (many as PD-USGov). They need alt text.

Thanks for another review. I made the suggested changes. Let me know if there are any additional issues and I'll be happy to address them. APK whisper in my ear 08:42, 19 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.