Talk:Frederick Fleet/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 14:44, 29 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing the article this week. Secret ^account 14:44, 29 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm quick failing the article, the prose is a mess and ineligible at times and the sourcing is awful.

"He never knew his father, and his mother abandoned him and ran away with a boyfriend to Springfield, Massachusetts, in the United States never to be heard from again." That's one lengthy run-on sentence, "in the United States" is not needed as the Massachusetts wikilink covers it.
"In 1903 he went to sea as a deck boy, working his way up to able seaman." How can you "went to sea"?
As a seaman, Fleet earned five pounds per month plus an extra 5 shillings for lookout duty. be consistent with numbers under 10 per WP:MOS
And it was as a lookout that Fleet joined the Titanic in April 1912, along with five other watchmen. - Don't start sentences with "and".
At 22:00 (10PM) that night, Fleet and his fellow lookout Reginald Lee replaced George Symons and Archie Jewell at the nest.[7] MOS error.
"Later, when he was about to retire, he became a newspaper salesman, going through difficult economic times.[21]" ???
Grammar is awful, commas needed in almost every sentence.
Citation format are a mess.
What makes citation 18 and 23 a reliable source? Or even Titanic for Dummies?
The Daily Mail is not a reliable source.
Walter Lord didn't write his books in March 2013, correct that.
What makes "The Titanic - "Everything Was Against Us" a reliable source considering it was printed by a self-vanity press.

I gave up reading this article, it's clearly not ready for GA Secret ^account 18:43, 12 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]