Talk:Franz Neuhausen/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 20:14, 20 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly, but you'll need family information, if any.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:14, 20 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

he obviously had no biographers. I've looked in all the usual places, but he was a bit of a &^%$#@), so maybe no-one bothered... Peacemaker67 (send... over) 12:26, 22 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

If nothing is known about is family life say so.
- specified family, it did already have something about nothing being known about his life before WWI.
  - True, but doesn't mean that he never married or had children later in life.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:17, 23 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What did he do during WW1? You'll probably need to hunt down some books on the Luftstreitkräfte and its pilots. Ask User:MisterBee1966 and on the WP:Aviation talk pages for assistance.
- Chasing via MB and WP:Aviation.
  - Keep me up to date on this, please.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:17, 23 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Will do. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 03:39, 23 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
add |adj=on code to {{convert|30|lb|kg}} to get the hyphen added as it needs to be. Remember this for future compound adjectives like 15-inch shell, etc.
- Done.
Delete the "s" in metal ores production and subsequent usages
- Done.
This is awkward Despite the theoretical supreme authority of the Military Commander in Serbia within the occupied territory, there were often competing interests at work because of the presence in Belgrade of direct representatives of senior Nazi officials such as Himmler and Göring. mainly from the "because of" See if you can rephrase to eliminate that.
- Done, let me know what you think?
agreement was reached "an" agreement was reached
- Done.
add a comma after and to set off the independent clause: concentration camp and although Göring arranged his release,
- Done, I think...
Yugoslav or Yugoslavian? The latter sounds awkward to me, although I understand that it's popular in certain circles. Same issue arises with Slovak vs Slovakian, etc. Maybe it's just me.
- Done. I generally prefer Yugoslav in this context too.
Put all title in the bibliography in title case.
- I have checked and changed a couple to ensure they are all capitalised per the book titles on Worldcat.
no DABs or problems with external links
Pictures appropriately licensed.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:25, 22 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- all addressed thus far except the WWI bit. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 03:12, 23 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - No answer from anyone as yet, Sturm. I'll give it a couple more days. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 07:03, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - I think we can assume no-one has anything to add. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 04:41, 30 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      - Your changes look good, although I hate how Worldcat and all the various citing styles violate the ordinary grammar requirements of title case (but that's a rant all its own!). Unfortunately, the lack of information on his WWI activities and family life prevents this article from being "reasonably complete", IMO, so I must fail it for not meeting the GA criteria. Should you dig up this material, I'll be happy to review it again.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:40, 31 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]