Talk:Franklin's electrostatic machine

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  Bfpage |leave a message  10:37, 9 August 2015 (UTC)

Answering the Request for Copy Editing

I saw the request for copy-editing for this article, and I'd like to try to help. I've never attempted to copy-edit an entire article before, so if I do something wrong, please be gentle with me.

@Burnishe: Great copy editing. It has much improved the article. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

This article has a lot going for it, but I understand the criticism about awkward wording, and I think I can help. I found several places where there seemed to be "extra" words that I was able to remove, without really changing the meaning of the sentence at all. I will do my best not to introduce any subtle errors into the article as I go along, and I would be happy to discuss any particular edit, if anyone has questions.

Thanks, I appreciate it! --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

From the perspective of other editors, is it preferable to copy-edit a whole paragraph at once, or would it be more helpful to have each individual edit posted as a separate change? --Burnishe (talk) 00:36, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

Personally I prefer to know the reasoning behind EACH edit. That way I learn from a professional copy editor what is best on individual items (for future use on other articles).--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

I edited out that Franklin had a "core team" of collaborators. Is this important information, or is there any additional information about this? Who were the other members of the "team"? Do we know of any contributions his collaborators made to the machine? --Burnishe (talk) 00:36, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

Loxley house key

@Burnishe: I'll see if I can find out more on Franklin's "core team" and who contributed what on the machine. I believe his "core team" to be Ebenezer Kinnersley, Thomas Hopkinson and Philip Syng. I think Philip Syng was the carpenter that constructed the machine = I'll do more research on this. Again, thanks for great improvements. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

@Burnishe: Here is where I got the idea of "core team" from the word "principally" - in the middle of page 182 of Talbott source. Whatever you think is best, I'll go with. The way it is now with "core team" out is fine with me.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:11, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

@Burnishe: BTW, it turns out that Benjamin Loxley (another article I created) was the carpenter of Franklin's electrostatic machine, per page 75 of LaMay 2009 source. Loxley's house key was used for Franklin's kite experiment. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:11, 18 December 2016 (UTC)

@Doug Coldwell: I think this might make an interesting addition to the article.

@Burnishe: - I assume you mean about the house key. I'll have to think about where to place

Loxley provided his house key that Franklin used to get lightning from flying a kite in the clouds.

The copy-editing seems to be going well so far. I think I've made a pretty good first pass through the majority of the article, and (hopefully) improved the phrasing of many sentences. The lead paragraph is still seems a little thin to me. It doesn't really summarize the whole article very well. I'd like to work on that a little more. And the "Background" section feels a little like a big wall of text. Maybe we could find some interesting and appropriate picture to break it up a little bit visually. It doesn't feel done yet, but I think we're making progress. --Burnishe (talk) 02:40, 1 January 2017 (UTC)

@Burnishe: Thanks for the great job on improving the article. Obviously you are a more experienced editor than myself and know the English structure and rules for writing. I added an old image of a Leyden jar experiment = if you don't think it fits, feel free to remove it. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:58, 1 January 2017 (UTC)

@Doug Coldwell: Thank you for the nice compliment. I am really just a beginner, but your support helps me keep up the courage to make bold edits. This article is so much better now than it was three months ago, and it's been fun for me to play a small part in that, but most of the work has been done by others, especially you and the GA reviewers, before I got here. I think basic copy-editing is nearly complete, but it might still be helpful for the overall structure of the article to be reviewed. --Burnishe (talk) 17:23, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

@Burnishe: Thanks for the excellent job in improving the Franklin article. I'll go over it for an overall look before I resubmit for G.A. nomination (again). Maybe I'll see you on another of my articles in the future that needs a copy-edit. I know you would greatly improve it. Happy New Year.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:17, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

Question about the long delay fulfilling Franklin's last will

I noticed that Joseph Hopkinson's gift of the original Franklin battery to the Royal Society, in accordance with Franklin's will, was nearly 50 years after Franklin's death. I wonder why there was such a long delay. Is there a source with more background on that story? --Burnishe (talk) 20:17, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

@Burnishe: I'll have to do some research on that.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:32, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

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Copyright contributor investigation and Good article reassessment

This article is part of Wikipedia:Contributor copyright investigations/20210315 and the Good article (GA) drive to reassess and potentially delist over 200 GAs that might contain copyright and other problems. An AN discussion closed with consensus to delist this group of articles en masse, unless a reviewer opens an independent review and can vouch for/verify content of all sources. Please review Wikipedia:Good article reassessment/February 2023 for further information about the GA status of this article, the timeline and process for delisting, and suggestions for improvements. Questions or comments can be made at the project talk page. MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 09:36, 9 February 2023 (UTC)