Talk:Frank Swift/GA1
GA Review
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Overall the article is good, however I did find a few things:
- "...was a football goalkeeper who played for Manchester City and England, born in Blackpool, Lancashire." I don't really like how that's worded. Where he was born just feels awkwardly tacked on.
- Reworded.
- "Swift's first club was Blackpool Gas Works, where he worked as a coke-keeper" What's a coke-keeper?
- While none of the references go into detail, I'd expect it meant providing fuel for the furnaces. I've wikilinked coke (fuel), but given the lack of detail in the refs I probably can't do much else.
- "Len Langford had made over 100 appearances, but had received criticism for a poor performance in the 1933 FA Cup Final, which City had lost 3–0 to Everton." Things regarding criticism should probably be cited.
- Irritatingly, I think the passage explicitly mentioning criticism is in the one Manchester City related book used for the article which I don't have on my bookshelf. I'll probably have access to said book at some point in the next two or three weeks. Descriptions of the 1933 final make it obvious that Langford had a terrible game, but those I have to hand do not explicitly mention criticism - a web-based one is [1] - "City keeper Len Langford almost punching into his own goal following a long ball from Cliff Britton", "A series of set-plays continued to cause havoc in the City penalty box with ‘Tosh’ Johnson making life difficult for his former team-mates by standing near Langford for corner-kicks and making runs to block his sight lines when the ball was played", "Jimmy Stein poked home a loose ball after Langford had dropped a Britton cross". I guess for now I'll remove the word "criticism" but leave the bit about having a poor performance.
- I'd like to see the club career split into subsections, if possible, just because there's a lot of paragraphs.
- I've attempted to put it into two subsections, though I'm not too sure about it - it feels a bit like doing it for the sake of it.
- Doing a copyedit might help too; I found several small nitpicks as I read that I fixed, others might be around.
- I've had a run-through, albeit subject to the blindness that comes when attempting to copyedit your own prose. Oldelpaso (talk) 08:52, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
I'll put the article on hold for a few days so this stuff can be fixed. Wizardman 04:39, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
- Looks good now, I'll pass the article. Wizardman 16:05, 2 June 2009 (UTC)