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Talk:Francis Chan (bishop)/GA1

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:01, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • "Chinese Singaporean bishop" don't like these two links next door to each other, it's a little sea of blue.
  • Lead needs a little expansion.
  • What is "A Council Father"?
  • "He succumbed to terminal cancer " avoid euphemisms around death. As tragic as it was, he died.
  • No free image?
  • " Gregory Yong.[15][17] Yong would later" merge -> " Gregory Yong,[15][17] who would later"
  • "noteworthy friendships " what about all the other noteworthy friendships, for completeness, they ought to be mentioned here, right?
  • Wasn't able to find any other friendships in the sources I trawled through. And I presume the noteworthy people who sent messages of condolences and paid their respects as he was lying in state were doing so out of a sense of duty, not necessarily because they knew him well (if at all). —Bloom6132 (talk) 22:12, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • ""token of [their] friendship".[12][13][15][18] " four refs?
  • "courtyard to this day" as of 2020. Needs a timeframe. "to this day" can easily go out of date.
  • Infobox: why is "Bishop of Penang" in italics?
  • "and was cared fo" odd. Perhaps a full stop. "He was cared for...
  • "night of Friday, 20 October 1967," days of the week are seldom notable.
  • "It was there that he passed away.[1]" you already mentioned he'd died. And we don't use euphemisms about dying. He died.

That's it for my first pass, I'll put it on hold while we go over these points. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 20:57, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: thanks very much for the review! I hope I've addressed your comments satisfactorily. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:22, 17 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
P.S. I added an important clarification footnote (note B), but that ends up shifting ref 5 and the note to the next line and leaves them standalone. I've tried testing out &nbsp, but that results in a space between the full stop and ref 5 (and lots of whitespace between "Catholic" and "priesthood".Bloom6132 (talk) 01:40, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Just viewed the article on Safari and the text appeared fine there (i.e. notes not on separate line). Seems to be only a problem on Firefox. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:56, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good work Bloom6132, happy to promote this now. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:59, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]