Talk:Forgive Me (Leona Lewis song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk) 23:29, 28 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Lead

Cover image has proper copyright tags and non-free use
Third sentence in opening paragraph should have a comma: "...and Giorgio Tuinfort, and produced by Akon."

Fixed Tbhotch^Talk ^C.

"The song received generally positive reviews from music critics, but some of them criticized Lewis's voice for be very similar to Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey voice." needs to be reworded, maybe "The song received generally positive reviews from music critics, but some of them criticized Lewis's voice for being very similar those of Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey."

Fixed Tbhotch^Talk ^C.

"It peaked at number one in Slovakia and..." – in the 'Charts' section, the Slovakian chart is not mentioned, only the airplay chart. Make this clear in the lead

I changed it to "It peaked at number one in the Slovak Airplay Chart...". Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:09, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Background, music and lyrics

Is four lines of lyrics compliant with the copyright? I will try to get a second opinion on this. Are the lyrics necessary?

I added because them could significantly increase readers' understanding of the topic, but I decided to remove them. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 05:26, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Third paragraph: The two versions are already mentioned, but the lengths don't seem to fit in well with the composition. I suggest moving the length/version info from the second paragraph to the final paragraph. In other words, a bit of rewording of is needed in this section.

Removed the repeated (and unsourced) version. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:32, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sheet music has copyright tag and non-free use rationale, and is captioned, but "Shuffle Dance" is mentioned, but not explained anywhere in the article

Removed, that was there since 2008. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:24, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion

First paragraph is slightly confusing. "Despite this, it was not released in the region" do you mean as a single? Make this known. "Later, "Forgive Me" was added in the deluxe edition of the album later the same year" the double-use of "later" sounds odd, and was the song in the deluxe edition internationally?

Changed to "Despite this, it was not released as a single in the region. Later, "Forgive Me" was added in the deluxe edition of the album, which was released internationally in the same year. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 05:31, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"...Lewis explained why she decided to change musical genre, ballad, from her previous singles" A ballard is not a genre, but a form of song. Rewrite this sentence.

Maybe could be Lewis explained why she decided in change the musical genre of her previous singles, form contemporary R&B to dance-pop. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 23:24, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Lewis performed the song on the TV Programs..." should be "Lewis performed the song on the television programs..."

Fixed

Critical reception

"Sal Cinquemani of Slant wrote: "is a 'bouncy and youthful' addition to the album"" → "Sal Cinquemani of Slant called the single 'bouncy and youthful" - makes grammatical sense and uses words in the review.

Fixed Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:16, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Chart performance

Shouldn't the tables of charts be in this section?

I am basing it as other GAs songs. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:19, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

The music video for the song was filmed in May 2008 and directed by Wayne Isham, and it premiered on 16 September 2008 need 'and'

"and" added. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:20, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Music video screenshot has proper copyright tags and non-free use, except it says that it "has been published outside Wikipedia; see source above.", but there is no source above

I think I fixed it. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:20, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

No citation(s)

Really this section need a source? Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:17, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, where did you get the information from – you must have got it from somewhere – there's your source. Adabow (talk) 02:28, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Added. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:35, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Year-end charts

Does the one year-end chart deserve its own table and section?

Added to the prose -> "In the 2008 UK year-end chart, the single reached the number 85". Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 23:30, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

The article is written in American English, but it seems to be more significant to Europe, particularly in the UK, so shouldn't it be in British English? (I won't fail the article because of this, just a general comment.)

Sorry, I studied American English since I was eight. In which sentences should be re-worded? Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:15, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Two words I noticed were 'criticized' (BE:criticised) and 'program' (BE:programme). You can use the find tool on your computer (Ctrl + F). There may be others. Try copy-and-pasting into a word processor and setting your language to BE for a spell check (I would do it but for some reason my MS Word is screwed up). Adabow (talk) 02:55, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I asked some help. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 23:55, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I made a few minor edits at Tbhotch's request but found no issues with the British/American English spellings. Anemone Projectors 00:36, 30 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 03:02, 30 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There are some minor issues, so I will put the review on hold for seven days, and ask for a second opinion on the copyright status of the lyrics. Adabow (talk) 01:23, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am satisfied with the improvements made to the article, and will now pass it. Congratulations and good luck with future improvements! Adabow (talk) 04:18, 30 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm so happy :D thanks!!!. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 04:25, 30 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Second opinion, please

Do the lyrics in the 'Background, music and lyrics' section comply with copyright law? Thanks, Adabow (talk) 01:23, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I came across some information that I hope you find helpful. According to WP:MUSTARD (part of the MOS guideline), "copyrighted lyrics can only be used under the WP:FU provision", which states that "brief quotations of copyrighted text may be used to illustrate a point, establish context, or attribute a point of view or idea". One can probably make the case that the use of lyrics here is an acceptable use of non-free content (note: the lyrics would have to be attributed). That said, in this article I think the two sentences leading up to the lyrics more than adequately illustrate the song's lyrical content on their own. They are sourced and paraphrase the lyrics such that it's almost redundant to keep the lyrics in there. So personally, I would remove them regardless of the legality of their use; the article would be no worse off. Gongshow ^Talk 06:20, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]