Talk:Florine Stettheimer/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Caeciliusinhorto (talk · contribs) 13:04, 21 September 2019 (UTC)

An interesting article, but not up to GA standard, I am afraid. The major concern is verifiability.

• There are claims throughout which are uncited and really should be cited, including one entirely uncited paragraph.
  • "She also continued to take private art lessons in alternative media such as casein."
  • "Within a year, she developed her own, uniquely feminine style, rejecting Matisse's thick impasto, as well as the abstract modernism and the baroque masculine regionalism of her contemporaries."
  • "The greatest influence on Stettheimer's unique painting style was the theatrical productions of Russian Serge Diaghilev's newly formed Ballets Russes in Paris around 1912"
• There are occasions where the apparent citation does not support the claim made:
  • "first openly feminist nude"
  • "A number of the special cocktails and dishes (such as feather soup) that were served at the Stettheimer salons became featured in popular Broadway shows"
  • "Stettheimer painted herself and friends of various religions (including Jews and Catholics) enjoying a day at Lake Placid, a site renowned for being segregated for only Protestants."
  • "Stettheimer painted herself asleep, dreaming of the dancer Nijinsky"

All of the examples given are just examples: these problems exist elsewhere in the text. Other issues I have spotted include neutrality problems (describing Stettheimer's poetry as "brilliantly satiric" in WP's voice, for instance), and at least one instance of extremely close paraphrasing. (Compare "During her twenties and thirties, she engaged in flirtations and romantic relationships, and her paintings, diaries, and poems reveal her admiration for the male anatomy. However, they also demonstrate that she adamantly opposed the idea of marriage, believing like many feminists that it constricted women's freedom and interfered with creativity." and "During her twenties and thirties, she engaged in flirtations and romantic relationships, and her paintings, diaries, and poems reveal her enduring admiration for the male anatomy. However, they also demonstrate that from early in her life she adamantly opposed the idea of marriage, believing like many feminists of her time that it constricted women’s freedom and interfered with creativity.")

Finally, there are several prose issues, including unencyclopedic tone ("Stettheimer submitted/was invited to exhibit paintings") and confusing prose structure ("By the early 1890s, Rosetta's eldest two children, Stella and Walter, who were much older than the other three, married and left Carrie, the next eldest, Florine, and Ettie the youngest, to form a close bond with their mother that lasted until her death in 1935.")

I think the article still needs enough work that a seven-day hold period won't be enough; I am going to fail the nomination now. Sort out the sourcing, make sure there's no close paraphrasing issues, and tighten up the prose, and you will be in a position to sail through GA review. Caeciliusinhorto (talk) 13:04, 21 September 2019 (UTC)

Caeciliusinhorto, thank you for your helpful comments. Making the necessary changes will indeed take me more than a week. Your review is more than fair and much appreciated. Thanks, Vexations (talk) 23:27, 22 September 2019 (UTC)