Talk:Fix a Heart/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 14:20, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this nomination, and should have at least some comments up by the end of March. Snuggums (talk / edits) 14:20, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, that was fast! Haha. Thank you so much, @SNUGGUMS:, I'll wait for your comments

. Regards, --Paparazzzi (talk) 16:26, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

No problem :) Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:27, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Let's begin with the infobox and lead.....

Infobox

"Released" is misleading here since that would imply this had a single/promotional single release; songs don't just inherit album release dates like that unless released independently on the same day as parent albums (which isn't the case in this instance) Done
I think we can safely include "Digital download" in "format" given the digital copies it sold, but streaming and CD single release would incorrectly imply this had an independent release from the album Done

Lead

"The track received mostly positive reviews from critics, with many of them calling it one of the best songs from the album, while others praised the singer's vocal performance"..... unless we have a ref in article body specifically saying that critical response was mostly positive, then this bit is a violation of WP:SYNTH, though we can still say what critics liked or didn't like about the track Done
"It entered the charts in Canada and the United States after the release of the record, peaking at numbers 69 and 78 on the Billboard Hot 100 and Canadian Hot 100" is rather wordy, let's try "Following the album's release, the track peaked at number 69 in the United States and number 78 in Canada" Done

More to follow later..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:07, 30 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background

"Production" would be a more appropriate section title as this talks about creation process rather than what really inspired/influenced the song itself Done
Except for "Lovato started writing and recording songs for her third studio record in mid-2010", scratch everything before "In that same month, website Disney Info Net"; the other details pertain more to the Unbroken album article than this track specifically. Let's reduce this all into something like "After Lovato started working on her third studio record in 2010, website Disney Info Net published the songwriting discography of Priscilla Renea in June 2011, which included the titles of two then-unreleased songs recorded by Lovato, 'Fix a Heart' and 'Yes I Am'." Comment: I did not want to omit the self-harm thing, because it is mentioned later on the composition section, so the reader will know there's a reason why critics are comparing the song with that issue. I re-wrote that part as, "Lovato started writing and recording songs for her third studio record in mid-2010. She resumed the work for the album the following year, after entering a rehab center to treat her problems with self-harm, among other issues. In June 2011, website Disney Info Net..." Let me know if there's any inconvenience.--Paparazzzi (talk) 02:18, 11 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"16 September 2011" should read "September 16, 2011" when this is a song from an American singer and Americans use MDY (Month-Day-Year) format instead of DMY (Day-Month-Year) Done
"The song was written by Renea alongside Emanuel Kiriakou, and produced by the latter. Kiriakou also programmed the song and played the piano, keyboards and bass.".... this could be more concise as "Renea co-wrote the song with its producer Emanuel Kiriakou, and the latter also programmed the song and played the piano, keyboards and bass" Done

So far, no glaring issues..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:46, 9 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

Not sure if File:Demi Lovato - Fix a Heart.ogg has any particular benefit, and 20 seconds is too long anyway when the song is 3 minutes and 13 seconds long (193 seconds, meaning its maximum length can be 19 seconds per WP:Manual of Style/Music samples). By the way, the song's duration should also be included in prose here, especially when there's no previous citation given for it (you can use iTunes for this if you'd like). Done I reduced the lenght of the sample to 19 seconds, and included the song's duration in the article.--Paparazzzi (talk) 02:24, 11 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I still don't see any real benefit of including it, though..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:39, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Other critics suggested that the track referenced Lovato's previous problems with self-harm"..... I see how you include specific lyrics for that basis, but let's include the commentary that PopMatters, BlogCritics, and Entertainment Weekly make on such references Done

To be continued later..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 06:00, 9 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: I have addressed your comments. Regards, --Paparazzzi (talk) 02:26, 11 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for doing so. I'll post additional comments once I've had the chance to look further. Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:26, 11 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

If anywhere, I'm pretty sure File:Demi Lovato A Special Night 1 Crop.jpg would be more appropriate for the "Live performances" section (assuming the pic is of Demi singing this song as opposed to other tracks from the tour's setlist) Comment: It is not specified which song she is singing in the picture, but it is good to have at least one pic of the singer through the article. I didn't added it on the "live performances" section because it is a short section

It would be better to use one known to be of her specifically performing this song (if any performance pic at all). Otherwise, it's not really connected to the song. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:00, 18 April 2017 (UTC) Done Changed to a pic where she is actually performing the song[reply]

"while Brian Mansfield of USA Today recommended the readers to download the recording" seems rather empty when he doesn't give any specific comments on the song itself. Not sure it's really worth including when it lacks substance. Comment: I guess that the author recommended the track because he thinks it is among the best from the album?

While he very clearly liked the track, it just would've helped if he specifically stated what he liked about it. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:00, 18 April 2017 (UTC) Comment: So, do I remove the sentence?[reply]

For the "It's a moody waltz-time ballad whose cello-driven sense of atmosphere places it closer to something Coldplay might have done, although the phrasing makes it sound like she's been getting into '60s soul, her vocal cracking just enough to say, "I'm feeling this." quote, the quote-within-a-quote "I'm feeling this" should have ' instead of " Done
"Masley also considered it the second best song by Lovato"..... may as well add that he found "Skyscraper" her best track Done
I'm not sure if "Thought Catalog" is worth including when the site as a whole has uncertain viability, especially when the author has no known credentials in music or journalism Done Removed.
"The emotion throughout tracks like "Lightweight" and "Fix a Heart" show the true compassion"..... again, use ' instead of " for quotations marks within other quotes. Also, this link is dead, and is Joe DeAndrea one of the staff members for AbsolutePunk? WP:WikiProject Albums/Sources (WP:ALBUM/SOURCES) says to only use staff reviews from that site. Done I archived the link and, according to Metacritic, the album was reviewed by a staff member
Is "Plugged In" a good source? While WP:ALBUM/SOURCES doesn't restrict it, I'm not familiar with the site and don't know how usable it is. Comment: It is, it's part of the Focus on the Family organization.
"On 20 May 2015, singer Sam Smith wrote on Twitter, 'You never really can fix a heart', to which Lovato replied, 'let's do a remake of that song together'. After this, the hashtag #DemiLovatoFeatSamSmith became a trending topic on the website. The collaboration, however, never materialized." is all true, but that's not what we should focus on here. The important part is how Billboard felt it would be a "wise" idea for Demi to remake the song with Sam Smith after she suggested the idea on Twitter. Done

OK thank you, and I just noticed now that "20 May 2015" should be "May 20, 2015" when this is an article on an American subject, though it might be better in this case to just say "In 2015" Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:00, 18 April 2017 (UTC) Done[reply]

The charting detail is better for the "Charts" section as commercial performance doesn't really have anything to do with critical reception Done

Getting closer now..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 04:39, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: I have addressed your comments. Thank you and regards, Paparazzzi (talk) 08:15, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll finish this up later Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:00, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: I have addressed your comments. So, do I remove the USA Today sentence? Regards, Paparazzzi (talk) 23:47, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I would say yes in this case because the link doesn't offer any substance for the song Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:53, 18 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS:

Done. Paparazzzi (talk) 00:28, 19 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

I still feel that a picture of Demi singing is more appropriate here than in the "reception" section (if anywhere) per my previous note above Done
No descriptions on how she sang this on tour (i.e. what she did while singing)? I would also recommend adding some commentary from critics on performances.

Comment: I have expanded the "live performances" section. Regarding how she sang the track on the A Special Night tour, I added the little information that I have found since, as you might see on the picture, she's just sitting while performing. I added three reviews for the Future Now Tour and what she did while singing (again, since this is a ballad, she's not doing much while performing, hence the lack of information)

Neither citation used for A Special Night with Demi Lovato mentions that tour by name, and I don't remember "Unbroken World Tour" (mentioned here) ever being a synonym for this

Done

Comment: I guess that there's no problem anymore with the source that mentions "Unbroken Tour", right? --Paparazzzi (talk) 22:20, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

While subsequent iTunes releases are noted, this ref doesn't mention the song at all, and we'd particularly need one specifically talking about a date she performed the song at the theater

Comment: Regarding the last two comments, "Unbroken Tour" could be a synonym for the tour (this source uses both names on the same publication). For whatever reason, there's no reviews for the performance on the Hershey Theatre, but if we read the source, we'll se that her performance at the Hershey Theatre was scheduled for November 19, so the performance released on iTunes ocurred happened on the aforementioned date. Paparazzzi (talk) 17:48, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

In that case, let's try something like "A recording of her tour performance at the Hershey Theatre on November 19, 2011 was released onto iTunes on January 1, 2012 and was included on the deluxe edition of Unbroken." (just noticed that iTunes says Jan 1st for both items, not March 30th). Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:21, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: There's a confusing problem regarding the date of both the video and the album. For whatever reason, iTunes has changed the release dates over the time. To prove what I'm saying, the archived url of the deluxe edition of Unbroken says "Released: 30 March 2012". It was archived on 25 April 2013. However, the video of the tour performance was not archived, and that's why the date shown is incorrect. The Spanish version of this article (which I worked circa 2012) says that both the video and the album were relased on 30 March 2012. I added that information on May 7, 2012. I don't know what to do in this case. Paparazzzi (talk) 22:06, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I would go with earliest releases, which in this case seems to be January 1st for solo video release and March 30th for deluxe album release. On another note, if including Music Connection Magazine's comments on this track and "Skyscraper" were the earliest songs featured, then I'd add the reviewer's disappointment over lack of songs from Don't Forget and Here We Go Again, which I'm basing off of the quote "One sad note, though, coming from a hardcore Demi Lovato fan, is that her setlist for this tour did not include songs from her first two albums, which is understandable since most of her fans are probably more familiar with her newer material." As I'm sure you would've guessed, this bit should be paraphrased. Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:18, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

While I don't have access to the album liners myself, I'll assume good faith that everything in this section is accurate
I wouldn't recommend using pseudo-headings here per WP:BADHEAD (at least not as semi-colons) as they are less accessible than true headings (using "=" around text)

~~: Comment: I just removed the pseudo-headings, is it better that way?~~ Done

Charts

Looks good

References

MTV News, Idolator, Sputnikmusic, BlogCritics and iTunes Store shouldn't be italicized Done
"Seventeen Magazine" → ''[[Seventeen (American magazine)|Seventeen]]'' Done
Not sure if "BSC Kids" should have italics or is credible

Comment: I don't know if they are credible or not; they say that "BSCkids is a sister site of BSCreview.com, and developed by the owners to provide a venue for all things kids and entertainment [...] BSCkids like BSCreview is a GoogleNews site".

Doesn't seem too bad after giving some further thought and looking into that link, and at least it isn't being used for a contentious claim Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:31, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"iTunes Stores" should read "iTunes" or "iTunes Store" without italics Done
"Seattle Post-Intelligencer" should be italicized Done
"Ajc.com" → The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Done
"PopCrush" isn't a good source per WP:ALBUM/SOURCES Done

Overall

Prose: Not sure what to say about this yet given lack of elaboration on performances
Referencing: Mostly good, though some citations need formatting fixes, one source is unreliable, and another is questionable
Coverage: I'd really like an expansion on "live performances" per my comments above
Neutrality: Seems OK to me
Stability: No concerns here at all
Media: File:Demi Lovato, We The Kings 4, 2011.jpg is appropriately licensed and relevant to the article
Verdict: Placing this on hold, and I'll give you seven days to address the remaining concerns. Snuggums (talk / edits) 03:46, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: I have left comments above. Regards, --Paparazzzi (talk) 22:27, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: These are my corrections.

Changed the date of the video release to January 1, 2012 (I did not include the date of the deluxe edition of Unbroken because the sentence would be so long)
Added the comment of Music Connection about the lack of songs from Demi's first two albums
Changed the pseudo-headings to actual headings on the "credits and personnel" section

That's all. I'm waiting for your response. Regards, --Paparazzzi (talk) 05:17, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Just made some minor adjustments after looking through again, and am passing for GA as it's now worthy! Congrats!!

Thank you so much for the review!

Regards, Paparazzzi (talk) 05:40, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]