Talk:First Presbyterian Church of Newtown/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Venicescapes (talk · contribs) 16:32, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
I’m very pleased to review the article and hope to have everything for you to consider in the next few days. I’ll organize the review section-by-section.Venicescapes (talk) 16:32, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
General layout
[edit]much better
I would strongly recommend inverting the History and Design sections. As a reader, I find it much more helpful to know the events that led to the construction of a building before a detailed analysis of the structure itself.
- I have done this. Interestingly, this was also suggested for another church article I nominated that's currently under review. I usually put the design first, because it seemed more relevant to the reader, but I guess it's the other way around for topics like this. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
Images
[edit]Done
Images are correctly licensed.
Move image “The present church, seen in 1922 before being relocated to its current site” down to the appropriate section.
- I have done this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
Is there a better photograph of the church at its present location? If not, can the image be cropped?
- I could go out and take some more later on, but this probably won't be possible till the weekend. The problem with the church's present location is that it faces right onto a major boulevard that is 200 feet wide. So any picture of the front will be either very close-up or very far away. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Don't worry. It doesn't sound as if a new photo would be much better, given the position of the church.Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Are there any images of the interiors?Venicescapes (talk) 11:50, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- Nope, nothing that's freely licensed. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- That's a shame.Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
I've marked this as done. But there are two things you could consider.
Is there any pertinent image you could add to the early section? Land documents? Deeds?Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- I don't know. Such documents may be in the FPCN's possession or the Queens Public Library, neither of which I could easily access right now. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- It was just a thought. I understand how difficult access is to libraries in this period.Venicescapes (talk) 17:36, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
From a purely aesthetic perspective, you might want to consider moving the image of the present church in 1922 up slightly. Since it's on the left, it pushes the subsection heading Relocation and later history to the right (this may vary from computer to computer). The result is that it's not aligned with the preceding subsection heading. If you move the image up slightly, it will also push the heading Construction and early years to the right and into alignment with the second heading. Again, this is purely aesthetic and individual.Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]Done
The First Presbyterian Church of Newtown is a historic Presbyterian church in the Elmhurst neighborhood of Queens in New York City. The current complex at 54th Avenue, between Seabury Street and Queens Boulevard, is the fifth church complex built for the congregation. It is composed of the main church, a parish hall, and a manse.
- Suggest defining the complex before identifiying the location. Could be rewritten as: The First Presbyterian Church of Newtown is a historic Presbyterian church in the Elmhurst neighborhood of Queens in New York City. It is part of a complex composed of the main church, a parish hall, and a manse. The current complex at 54th Avenue, between Seabury Street and Queens Boulevard, is the fifth church complex built for the congregation.
- Done.
The church was founded in 1652 and was originally housed in a building that it shared with other congregations. In 1669, the town of Newtown (later Elmhurst) erected a new building for the churches. The congregation became part of the Presbyterian Church in 1715 and built a structure that was demolished during the American Revolutionary War.
- Change in to around (or circa) : The church was founded around 1652…
- The multiple definitions of church (assembly, institution, building) can create confusion. Consider something that would keep the assembly and the building distinct: The church, as an assembly, was founded around 1652 and became part of the Presbyterian Church in 1715. It was originally housed in a building that it shared with other congregations. In 1669, the town of Newtown (later Elmhurst) erected a new building for these various denominations. The Presbyterian congregation later built a structure of its own that was demolished during the American Revolutionary War.
- I have rephrased it a little. epicgenius (talk) 00:44, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
A second building, called the Old White Church, was erected in 1791 and remained standing until 1928. The congregation moved to its current building when it was completed in 1895, and the manse was built in 1907. The church building and manse were moved in 1924 when Queens Boulevard was widened, and the parish hall was built in 1931.
- Consider: The congregation moved to its current building when it was completed in 1895. The manse was built in 1907. Both the church building and manse were moved in 1924 when Queens Boulevard was widened, and the parish hall was built in 1931.Venicescapes (talk) 07:23, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
History
[edit]Initial buildings (1652–1715)
[edit]Done
Elmhurst was established in 1652 as the town of Middleburgh, an outpost of the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam. Middleburgh was intended as a religiously diverse settlement.
- Can you elaborate? It was intended to be religiously diverse by whom. Was this an exception or the norm within the Dutch colony?
- Clarified. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
A town building was erected to serve as both a community and religious building; it was on what is now Dongan Street near Broadway. Use of this building was shared by the different religious denominations in Middleburgh: the Church of England, the Dutch Reformed Church, the Presbyterians, and the Quakers.
(Perhaps add sentence here)The English renamed the town "Newtown" in 1665, and Newtown became part of Queens County in 1683.
- Was the first building erected in 1652?
- At that time, or soon after. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
- In this case, the subsection heading should be: Initial buildings (ca. 1652–1715)Venicescapes (talk) 07:05, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- I did this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- In this case, the subsection heading should be: Initial buildings (ca. 1652–1715)Venicescapes (talk) 07:05, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- At that time, or soon after. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
- Consider inserting a sentence about the transfer to English authority.
- I added part of a sentence, i.e. New Amsterdam becoming English territory. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
Elmhurst was established in 1652 as the town of Middleburgh, an outpost of the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam. Middleburgh's leaders had intended it to be a religiously diverse settlement.[3] Soon after Middleburgh's establishment, a town building was erected to serve as both a community and religious building; it was on what is now Dongan Street near Broadway. Use of this building was shared by the different religious denominations in Middleburgh: the Church of England, the Dutch Reformed Church, the Presbyterians, and the Quakers. After the English gained control of New Amsterdam in 1665, they renamed Middleburgh to "Newtown"; subsequently, Newtown became part of Queens County in 1683.
- Middleburgh appears five times. Is it possible to eliminate some references to Middleburgh? A solution (not the only one) for the second sentence could be: It was the intention of the town's founders to have a religiously diverse settlement The third sentence could be something like: Soon after the town's establishment, a building was erected...Venicescapes (talk) 10:26, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- I have done this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
In 1669, the town planned to build a new church for all of these denominations on a plot of land donated by Ralph Hunt near Grand Avenue and Queens Boulevard.
- Can you add any details about Ralph Hunt? Why did he donate the land? Was the land his, or did he purchase it for the church?
- I can say the land was his, and that he was a prominent town citizen, but I can't say why he donated the land because these details aren't covered in the sources. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
In 1669, the town planned to build a new church for all of these denominations...
- Since there is a sentence (After the English gained control of New Amsterdam in 1665...) between the list of denominations and the relative adjective these, I suggest changing these denominations to the various denominations for clarity.Venicescapes (talk) 10:26, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- I did this as well. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
The Presbyterians themselves were known as the New Towne Church from 1665.
- This sentence seems out of place here. Both before and after, you’re talking about the building.
- Removed. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
The building was enlarged by John Coe and Content Titus in 1694. The next year, Newtown purchased a house and 12 acres (4.9 ha) from Samuel Coe for use as a parsonage.
- Again, is there any information on John Coe and Content Titus? When you say they enlarged the church, do you mean that they financed the work or designed the larger structure? Were they instead the leaders of the community at the time.
- They were the contractors. With stuff like this, there tends to be relatively few details. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
The Church of England became the Province of New York's official religion after the passage of the Ministry Act of 1693. As part of the act, the parish of Jamaica was extended to cover Flushing and Newtown.
- It might be helpful to indicate the status/nature of Flushing at the time. Was it a town or neighbourhood or other? Is it even necessary to mention Flushing since it’s not mentioned again?
- In the late 17th century, all these separate towns (now neighborhoods) were controlled by a single parish, despite being separated by long distances. I feel it's necessary because it shows that it was more than two congregations that were served. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
The Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts (SPG) appointed rectors for the parish; rectors generally served multiple congregations at the time. The New York provincial governor at the time, Lord Cornbury, refused to let any pastor preach in the province if they dissented from the Church of England.[35] He was recalled in 1708, and the Presbyterian congregation chose its own new pastor. The Rev. Samuel Pumroy was called as pastor and was allowed to live in the church farm parsonage.
- I found this a little confusing. Did the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts appoint only Anglican rectors only? When you say multiple congregations, do you mean multiple Anglican congregations or all denominations? What was the position of the Society and the rector with regards to Lord Cornbury’s refusal? Was it his refusal alone that prevented the Presbyterians from choosing a pastor?
- Since Anglicanism was the only state sanctioned religion in the area, yes, the SPG only allowed Anglican rectors to serve all the denominations. Cornbury was adamant that the C of E be the only denomination that was allowed to preach in the area. When he was recalled, the Presbyterians could select their own pastor. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
- Was Pumroy the first pastor? If so, consider combing the sentences: … the Presbyterian congregation chose its own new pastor, the Rev. Samuel Pumroy who was allowed to live in the church farm parsonage.
- Yes. I have done so. epicgenius (talk) 17:40, 9 August 2020 (UTC)
- I’m still having some difficulty with this. For example, the SPG is later than 1693 (1701 according to the Wikipedia article), yet the nomination of the rector by the SPG is still a consequence of the Church of England becoming the official religion. As I understand it, could something like the following be correct: The Church of England became the Province of New York's official religion after the passage of the Ministry Act of 1693. As a consequence of the act, the parish of Jamaica was extended to cover the towns of Flushing and Newtown. In addition, the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts (SPG) subsequently became responsible for appointing Anglican rectors for the parish. These rectors generally served the multiple congregations, and the New York provincial governor at the time, Lord Cornbury, refused to let any pastors preach in the province if they dissented from the Church of England. But after he was recalled in 1708, the Presbyterian congregation was allowed to choose its own new pastor, the Rev. Samuel Pumroy, who lived in the church farm parsonage.Venicescapes (talk) 10:26, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, I suppose this works. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Is this okay for you?Venicescapes (talk) 14:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, I suppose this works. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
Is there a page number for note 4?
- Added.
Invert notes 11 and 10 to maintain numerical sequence.
- Done.
In 1669, the town planned to build a new church for all of these denominations on a "small gore of land" donated by Ralph Hunt, a prominent citizen of the town, near Grand Avenue and Queens Boulevard.
Consider moving near Grand Avenue and Queens Boulevard to after small gore of land: In 1669, the town planned to build a new church for all of these denominations on a "small gore of land" near Grand Avenue and Queens Boulevard, donated by Ralph Hunt, a prominent citizen of the town.
- Done.
...who generally served multiple congregations at the time. The New York provincial governor at the time, Lord Cornbury,...
- Can you change one of the two at the time?Venicescapes (talk) 14:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
I've marked this as done. There is, however, still the question from above.
In 1669, the town planned to build a new church for all of these denominations on a "small gore of land" near Grand Avenue and Queens Boulevard, donated by Ralph Hunt, a prominent citizen of the town.
- If possible, change these denominations to the various denominations The reader has to backtrack too far to see what these refers to.Venicescapes (talk) 17:36, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Separate building (1715–1776)
[edit]Done
On September 15, 1715, the congregation applied for membership in the Presbyterian Church.
The same year, parishioner Jonathan Fish deeded land near the present church site to the "dissenting Presbyterian congregation of Newtown" so the congregation could replace its dilapidated church building.The congregation was admitted to the Presbytery of Philadelphia, and at the time, had eight members in full communion.
The congregation received title to the land in March 1716.The next year, the congregation united with others in Jamaica and Setauket to form the Long Island Presbytery.
A church building was erected, though it was not completed until 1741; it had a spire with a bell suspended at the top.
- Avoid false titles. Insert the before parishioner.
- I have done a variation of this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- In this paragraph, you’re dealing with two topics (
the membership in the Presbyterian Church
and the building of the church), but although in a chronological succession, the paragraph seems jumbled. Consider something like the following which would keep related information together (I'm sure there are other possibilities, including separate paragraphs): On September 15, 1715, the congregation, which at that time had eight members in full communion, applied for membership in the Presbyterian Church and was admitted to the Presbytery of Philadelphia. Subsequently, it united with other congregations in Jamaica and Setauket to form the Long Island Presbytery. Land near the present church site had already been deeded to the "dissenting Presbyterian congregation of Newtown" by the parishioner Jonathan Fish so the congregation could replace its dilapidated church building. The congregation received title to the land in March 1716. A church building was erected, though it was not completed until 1741; it had a spire with a bell suspended at the top.Venicescapes (talk) 10:26, 10 August 2020 (UTC)- Yeah, I have done this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Please verify page numbers in the citations. Note 16 indicates page 16 of 'National Park Service'. I find the information on page 4 of section 8. Also, the document title appears to be National Register of Historic Places Registration Form ("First Presbyterian Church of Newtown"). I’m not familiar with the registration procedure. So it’s not clear if the assigned document number is 2280 or 696. This information, together with the date (July 26, 2013), should probably be included.Venicescapes (talk) 10:26, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- This article is using the PDF's page numbers, which are generally easier to use compared with "section 1, page 1". I will fix those anyway.
- As for the document numbers, neither 2280 nor 696 are correct. The former is part of the "Received date" stamp (which is different than the publication date of September 9, 2013, when the building was listed). The latter are the last three digits of the NRHP reference number, which is 13000696. In any case, I don't think it's helpful to the reader to introduce these numbers, though I would be open to including the NRHP reference number. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- The solution of putting the PDF page numbers in parenthesis works fine. This would be a much bigger problem if we were dealing with a book. The PDF would count as pages everything at the beginning (frontispiece, title page, table of contents), throwing the numbers completely off with regard to the page numbers of the actual text. Yes, I think adding the NRHP number would help. Basically, if the PDF file did not exist, what information would be necessary to identify the document? (As an aside, how do they identify the document when the application is not approved and the building never receives an NRHP reference number?)Venicescapes (talk) 07:18, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- I see. I've added the reference number to the title. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- The solution of putting the PDF page numbers in parenthesis works fine. This would be a much bigger problem if we were dealing with a book. The PDF would count as pages everything at the beginning (frontispiece, title page, table of contents), throwing the numbers completely off with regard to the page numbers of the actual text. Yes, I think adding the NRHP number would help. Basically, if the PDF file did not exist, what information would be necessary to identify the document? (As an aside, how do they identify the document when the application is not approved and the building never receives an NRHP reference number?)Venicescapes (talk) 07:18, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
At the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War in 1775, most of Newtown's inhabitants were Loyalists who sided with the British. The Presbyterian Church of Newtown, like many other American Presbyterian congregations of the time, were Patriots who sympathized with American independence. The church created a "Committee of Correspondence" to communicate with the Continental Congress. A copy of the United States Declaration of Independence was read on the church steps in 1776, some days after independence was declared on July 4. Following the Battle of Long Island in August 1776, Newtown was occupied by the British, and public worship at the church was suspended. Several young Loyalists sawed off the church's steeple in the middle of the night. The British removed the pews and converted the church building into a jail. To insult the Presbyterians, the British left the pulpit in the street as a horse-hitching post. They subsequently destroyed the entire church building and reused the wood to build huts for their soldiers, Records show that some of the timber was sold for $250.
- loyalists and patriots should be in lower case.
- These are proper nouns. See Patriot (American Revolution) and Loyalist (American Revolution). epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- My mistake.Venicescapes (talk) 07:18, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- These are proper nouns. See Patriot (American Revolution) and Loyalist (American Revolution). epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
I've also marked this as done. There are, however, a few items.
Can you add a page number for note 26?Venicescapes (talk) 07:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
I would include the date at the beginning of paragraph 2: In 1715, Jonathan Fish, a parishioner, had deeded land near the present church Since the date is specified, you could use (optional) the simple past.Venicescapes (talk) 07:29, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
Old White Church (1791–1928)
[edit]Done
Only five of the original congregants remained in Newtown after the war; the others had been captured, killed, or had fled Newtown. The Reformed Church of Newtown let the Presbyterians use their building for the time being.
- Change to had been captured or killed or had fled.
- Done.
The First Presbyterian Church of Newtown was legally incorporated in 1784.
- Suggest moving this sentence to the next paragraph. Both before and after this sentence, you’re talking about buildings. So it’s unrelated. However, since it concerns the 'rebirth', it’s more closely aligned with the new church building.
- Done.
A new church building was built under the ministry of the Rev. Peter Fish, who became stated supply pastor in 1785.
- Either delete building or change built to constructed or erected.
- Fixed.
The cornerstone for the new church building was laid in 1787 and it was dedicated in 1791.
- Delete for the new church building, insert comma after 1787, and change it to the new church. (The cornerstone was laid in 1787, and the new church was dedicated in 1791.)
- Done.
At this time, Bakker's bell was placed in the belfry.
- Why is it called Bakker’s bell?
- Well, prior to this article's rearrangement, there was a sentence in the design section that mentioned
a bell made by Gerit Bakker in the Netherlands in 1788
. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Well, prior to this article's rearrangement, there was a sentence in the design section that mentioned
This building was called the Old White Church and was a two-story white-painted wood frame building on the north side of Hoffman Boulevard (present-day Queens Boulevard).
- Was it called Old White Church from the beginning? If not, try: This building, subsequently known as the Old White Church, was a two-story….
- Done.
Further renovations were undertaken under the ministry of the Rev. John P. Knox (1855–1882).
- Rewrite to avoid undertaken under
- Done.
This remodeling involved replacing the square-back pews with "more modern ones" and replacing the windows.
- Were the pews a more modern design or just new and more secure?
- They were just newer. I reworded it. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
The cemetery continued to accept burials until 1906; in subsequent years, the cemetery was frequently vandalized.
- Unless you want to talk about specific damage or the decline in the neighbourhood, I don’t see the reason for the second part.
- Removed.
The Old White Church's manse was apparently relocated to 53rd Avenue and Seabury Street, a block northwest of the current church, in the mid-1920s.
- Change to: The Old White Church's manse was relocated to 53rd Avenue and Seabury Street, a block northwest of the current church, apparently in the mid-1920s.
- Done.
The Old White Church was burned in 1928.
- Was this an act of arson? If not: The Old White Church burned in 1928.
- Was it totally destroyed (I’ve not read further)?Venicescapes (talk) 11:37, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, it was totally destroyed. It was burned down due to lightning. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
I've marked this as done. But there are a few minor things.
Can you add page numbers for notes 29 and 37?Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
At the end (after lightning strike), invert notes 39 and 36 so that the numbers are sequential.Venicescapes (talk) 06:58, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
Current church (1895–present)
[edit]Construction and early years
[edit]Done
When John Goldsmith Payntar, a wealthy merchant from Newtown, died in August 1891, he left $65,000 for the construction of a new church building.
Do we know why? Was it his church?
- He was part of the Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, but it may well be that he felt a particular kinship to the Newtown church, since that's where he lived. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
Of his bequest, $35,000 was reserved for construction. Some $4,000 was spent on the spire, $5,000 on the fence, $5,000 for a fund dedicated to general upkeep of the church yard, and various other expenses for furnishings. Additional funds were used to construct a stained glass window in Payntar's memory.
- Is the spire not considered part of the construction?
- I think that everything regarding construction (spire, fence, stained-glass window, and furnishings) should be together. Funds for ongoing maintenance should be separate.
- These were examples of where the fund was spent. I clarified this. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
The new structure was built on the south side of Hoffman Boulevard, across the street from the old one.
- Insert built: The new structure was built...
- Done.
The pastor at the time, the Rev. Jacob Mallmann, resigned five months afterward as a result of a dispute over the maintenance of the new church building.
- Do we know the nature of the dispute? Was it resolved?
- Mallman and the church elders disagreed on whether to sell money for maintenance. It was resolved by Mallman resigning. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
A monument to Payntar and his family was erected in the church yard. Disputes arose over whether the corpses of three former pastors should be moved from the old town cemetery, which was adjacent to St. James Church on Broadway and 51st Avenue, to the church yard.
- Again, do we know the nature of the dispute? Was it resolved?
- Why is the monument to Payntar mentioned here, between the two disputes? Is there a connection or is this simply a chronology of events?
- Actually, the second dispute is irrelevant, so I removed it. I don't know why I put that there. In any case, this is simply in chronological order. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
Starting in the late 1890s, Newtown was renamed Elmhurst and developed as a residential and commercial area.
- The formal change in name presumably has a fixed date. Rewrite as: Starting in the late 1890s, Newtown, renamed Elmhurst, developed as a residential and commercial area.
- Done.
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle reported that the congregation grew by 104 members from 1896 to its 250th anniversary in 1902. The church's trustees agreed to build a new manse in 1905, and it was completed by 1907. The church paid Collins $200, likely in conjunction with the manse's construction. The manse had cost $5,000.
- Was Collins paid at the time of the manse’s construction? Are you implying that it was designed by Collins or that he oversaw the work?Venicescapes (talk) 13:38, 10 August 2020 (UTC)
- I do not know whether he was paid before, during, or after construction. This seems to imply that he was the architect of the manse, though. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
Can you add the page number for notes 29, 42, and 47 (may have already been done elsewhere)?
- Done.
In note 41, 837 appears to be the page number. If so, insert p.. Also, LI should probably be in Roman numerals as in the newspaper. I don't think it should be in boldface.
- This is the way {{cite journal}} is formatted. I can't change that without deviating from the citation format used in the article, which is the CS2 format. I'm not sure whether we should prefer Roman numerals over standard Arabic ones; the latter is given in the database where this is hosted. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- It's not critical, but it should be as it appears in the original document.Venicescapes (talk) 17:36, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
In note 45, you have pp. but only the beginning page number.
- Fixed.
Consider moving the sentence A monument to Payntar and his family was erected in the church yard. to after Additional funds were used to construct a stained glass window in Payntar's memory. In this case, insert also: A monument to Payntar and his family was also erected in the church yard.Perhaps move the sentence The pastor at the time, the Rev. Jacob Mallmann, resigned five months afterward as a result of a dispute over the maintenance of the new church building. to the end of the first paragraph. The second paragraph would be more focused on later growth and developments.Venicescapes (talk) 11:04, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
Relocation and later history
[edit]Done
Queens Boulevard was developed in the early 20th century, incorporating the former Hoffman Boulevard and connecting to the Queensboro Bridge to Manhattan. The city government formed a commission in 1912 to take property and compensate property owners. The city offered to either buy and raze the church building, or pay the church $35,000 for relocation; the church chose the latter.
- Needs a direct object. Connecting what to the bridge?
- Queens Blvd connected Elmhurst to the bridge. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Consider: The city government formed a commission in 1912 to expropriate land and compensate property owners.
- Done.
- Delete comma after and raze the church building
- Done.
- Consider: In the case of the Presbyterian church, the city offered to….
- Done, though in a slightly different manner. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
- Consider changing the last two references of church to congregation
- Done.
- Can you add a property map? Since the Old White Church remained and only the new church was moved, it would be helpful to see what areas were needed to create Queens Boulevard.
- I could look. The property maps here might be copyrighted after 1924, but anything before then is fair game. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
The agreement was made in 1917, but no action was taken until 1922. Beginning in February 1924 and continuing until later that year, the current 3,000-short-ton (2,700 t) church was moved 125 feet (38 m) south. Walter Kidde and Company were hired to move the church on rollers at a cost of $87,000. The 1907 manse was also relocated to Seabury Street and 54th Avenue, behind the church building. The steeple was taken down and the stones stored for later re-assembly, though this never happened. The Christian Endeavor building was demolished because the congregation hoped to build a larger social hall.
- Invert second and third sentences. The company was hired before moving the church.
- Done.
- reassembly without hyphen
- Done.
- This is the only mention of Christian Endeavor. So the name should be explained or deleted.
- I have now explained it in a previous section. epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
In 1930, the church's chapel was condemned for the construction of the Independent Subway System's Queens Boulevard Line, whose Grand Avenue–Newtown station contained an entrance directly outside the church. The church hired Meyer & Mathieu to design a new parish house, which was built by Charles R. Krieg Inc. in 1931 at a cost of $75,000. The city was to compensate the church for the acquisition, but the compensation was delayed. The church paid for the parish house by taking out a $60,000 mortgage in 1930; the mortgage was paid off five years later when the city compensated the church. At the time, it was the church's only debt in its 283-year history, and the church celebrated by burning the mortgage papers. Commercial developers offered the church a $1,000,000 offer for its building in 1951, which it rejected. The following year, U.S. president Harry S. Truman sent a message to the church for its 300th anniversary.
- Consider inserting Instead at beginning of the fourth sentence: … but the compensation was delayed. Instead, the church paid for the parish house by taking out…Venicescapes (talk) 09:58, 11 August 2020 (UTC)
I've also marked this as done. There are, however, a few items.
Should Walter Kidde and Company be considered singular? Walter Kidde and Company was hired...
- Yes. They are a single company. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Invert notes 54 and 28 and 61 and 1 to maintain numerical sequence.
- Done.
Are there page numbers for notes 49, 50, 51, 56, 58, 59, 60, and 61?
- There are page numbers for 49, 50, 51, 56, 58, 59. There are no page numbers for 60 and 61. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
In the sentence Beginning in February 1924 and continuing until later that year,..., do you mean until late that year. Beginning in would already imply that everything else is later.
- Yeah, I think that last one was intended. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
For clarity, change Commercial developers offered the church a $1,000,000 offer for its building in 1951, which it rejected. to Commercial developers offered the church a $1,000,000 offer for its building in 1951, but the offer was rejected.Venicescapes (talk) 12:00, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Design
[edit]Done
The main facade and the church face Queens Boulevard to the northeast, outside the entrance to the New York City Subway's Grand Avenue–Newtown station.
- Why are the main facade and the church considered separate and distinct?
- I have fixed this to "the main facade of the church faces". epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Is there a page number for note 37?
- There is not. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Church
[edit]Done
The present church building was built in 1895 and designed by Frank A. Collins.
- Since the design precedes the building, this should be either The present church building was designed by Frank A. Collins and built in 1895. or The present church building was built in 1895 on the basis of a design by Frank A. Collins.
- Done.
Reorder notes 63, 29, and 43.
- Done.
Exterior
[edit]Done
...John Goldsmith Payntar, who funded the construction of the current building. The church building ...
- Delete comma after Payntar
- Reword to avoid building so close.
- Since Payntar was already mentioned, I got rid of the second part of the sentence. This resolves both of these issues. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Page number for note 37.
- Done.
The church building has stained glass windows designed by the partnership of Benjamin Sellers and William J. Ashley. A single window was commissioned from A. Passage.
- Consider merging with semicolon.
- Done.
Sellers maintained the windows after the building's completion.
- I don't understaand this. Do these windows predate the windows by Sellers?
- I removed it, because it wasn't relevant. epicgenius (talk) 14:41, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
The northwestern elevation contains windows that look into the aisle of the nave, as well as the clerestory windows above it.
- Should it be them?Venicescapes (talk) 12:17, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- I fixed this. epicgenius (talk) 14:49, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
The northwestern elevation contains windows that look into the aisle of the nave, as well as the clerestory windows above it. This elevation contains a pointed arch with a recessed wooden door on the left (northern) side.
The remainder of this elevation has five bays; each of these bays has one pointed arch on the lower section of the facade, which are all surrounded with brownstone, and three windows on the clerestory level. The south-eastern elevation is similar to the northeastern one, except that the right (northern) side has a concrete facade, and the left (southern) side contains sections of brick. The southwestern elevation is made of brick and has one arched window to the left and one door to the right. The southern corner of the church building is attached to the parish hall.
- The first and third sentences seem to overlap and maybe belong together.
- Done.
Projecting 13 feet (4.0 m) from the eastern corner of the church is a tower 85 feet (26 m) high. The tower is 17 feet (5.2 m) wide and contains buttresses with brownstone quoins at each corner.
- Recommend keeping measurements (height and width) together in the same sentence. The buttresses are a different topic.
- Please clarify if the tower is square.
- Done. Yes, it is square. epicgenius (talk) 14:49, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Originally the church building had a "great stone" spire reaching 146 feet (45 m). It was disassembled when the church was moved in 1924.
- Consider inserting But at beginning of second sentence.
- I added "However". epicgenius (talk) 14:49, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Is there a page number for note 29?Venicescapes (talk) 14:13, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
- Added.
I'll work on this again tomorrow. We're almost there. Have a pleasant evening.Venicescapes (talk) 17:36, 12 August 2020 (UTC)
Interior
[edit]Done If at some point you could add a floor plan, it would be great.Venicescapes (talk) 07:01, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
Mansa
[edit]Done
As built, the manse had a main entrance with Ionic-style pilasters and a portico with a pediment. A porch with columns ran around the manse, and there was a keystone above the rounded dormer window on the main facade.
- Although the text doesn't explicitely say so, I assume that this was all removed. In this case, insert originally after As: As originally built,...
- Done.
- Do we know when this was removed.Venicescapes (talk) 07:01, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- It was sometime between 1923 and 1925. epicgenius (talk) 00:41, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
It is topped by a hip roof, with a brick chimney above the center, and a dormer window projecting above the second floor on the southwest and southeast sides.
- Delete comma after center.
- Done.
Parish House
[edit]Done
The facade's decorative details included quoins made of limestone, surrounds around the door and window openings, and casement windows.
- Should the verb be present tense?Venicescapes (talk) 07:01, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
These facilities were used for clubs, Sunday school classes, and other activities at the church.
- Should the verb be present tense?Venicescapes (talk) 07:01, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- Yes. I fixed both of these. epicgenius (talk) 00:41, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
List of pastors
[edit]Done
- Correct note sequence after Andrew Bay.Venicescapes (talk) 07:01, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- Done.
GA Review completed
[edit]epicgenius Thank you for following up on the various suggestions and observations. This is another fine contribution to Wikipedia. Congratulations.Venicescapes (talk) 06:45, 14 August 2020 (UTC)