Talk:Fighter (Christina Aguilera song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sufur222 (talk · contribs) 10:40, 15 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for the delay: accountancy work experience and AS-level results wait for no man. Comments to follow...

Lead

"empowering lyrics and Aguilera's powerful vocals." Use a different synonym to avoid this sounding repetitive.
"achieved gold certification..." → was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), for digital sales exceeding 500,000 in the United States. (I know it reads similarly to the later paragraph in the "Chart performance" section, but the two sections are quite a distance apart and aren't identical anyway.)

Background and composition

I like how this is written on the whole: made a couple of small fixes myself. No other issues.

Development

The meaning of the section heading isn't very clear. How about "Writing and development".
Some of the lines in the first paragraph are worryingly crufty ("But that didn't make her became terrified, in fact, it made her became smarter and stronger.", for example, is a little cringe-worthy in an encyclopedic context) – having had a peek at it, you're citing the original text too closely: paraphrase and use quotation marks. "Then, she continued to talk about her unhappy childhood." can be struck out entirely, as the following clause makes that clear. Try and extend the sentences out a little, as the clauses are rather short and stilted. ("That was the way how she found her voice.") But try and make it a bit more original.

Composition

"verses are sang" → "verses are sung".
"At the begging" → I think you can work out what's wrong there.
The paragraph describing the lyrics and composition of the song needs to be written in present, not past, tense, as it otherwise implies that the song has changed since then.
"Then, Aguilera spoke the lyrics" → burn that "Then" with fire.

Critical reception

TJ for Neon Limelight... Nick Levine for Digital Spy... → use "of", not "for", or "writing for" to ensure variation.
"complimenting that" → rewrite as "Chuck Taylor complimented "Fighter" for demonstrating that Aguilera "[has] got the goods to rise above what so many lesser acts depend on for celebrity".
"showed the very different side of Aguilera", "expand..." → "showed a more mature side of Aguilera compared to her earlier music, commenting that they "expand audience expectations of her image and sound".
"on the list" → the only list made of her best songs? "On a list", I think.
"on the list of top ten Aguilera's materials". Awkward to read: use singular instead, in both cases.
"placed the song at number six on the same list" → it's not the same list, because it's a list made by a different publication. How about "Bill Lamp placed the song at number six on a similar list for About.com."
I'm doubtful about the reliability of the Yahoo! Voices source (and you seem to have missed that the author's name appears on the page). Although many Yahoo! blogs are reliable and written by reputed experts and journalists, the description at the bottom of the page implies that Nicole Hogsett is not a professional writer, meaning that it probably fails the reliability criteria per WP:SPS.

Chart performance

Hrm. Seeing as the Canadian Hot 100 didn't exist until 2007, I doubt that it reached number three on it. The chart the position refers to is that of the original Canadian Singles Chart, which was published separately by Nielsen for several years: the position is verfified here, so you could add that in instead. Do the same for the "Charts" table.
"peaking within the top 15 of most countries" → most countries in the entire world, or just the ones it charted in?

Music video

"The music video for "Fighter" was directed by Floria Sigismondi. The director revealed that, "You're going to see her like I don't think she's been portrayed before"." → "The music video for "Fighter" was directed by Floria Sigismondi, who revealed that it would display Aguilera "like I don't think she's been portrayed before"."
Rachel McRady for Wetpaint commented that the clip tells us that "Lady Gaga isn’t the only one who can make a strange music video"." Probably needs a bit of retrospective context, as Lady Gaga would not become widely known for several years after the release of this song.
"This video shows the metamorphosis of Aguilera's slow, yet steady progression of her inner-strength, from being heartbroken, to becoming unbreakable." As you've cited the video directly, I'm a little concerned that this is your own synthesis of the video's meaning and not a properly verifiable one.

Live performances

Mostly good, but one thing: "Wearing a "bedazzled bustier with hot pants", Jonathan Hofmann called the performance "insane and bizarre as it sounds". Was Jonathan Hofmann wearing hot pants?

Cultural impact

"in US reality show" → "in the American reality show".

References I like the job you've done here → some of the reference sections I've seen on previous GA candidates were rubbish. A few small points:

Be careful about using brackets to list publishers in – that's really meant for printed sources, and not web sources. I'd remove the brackets from all of the web sources (i.e. (Viacom) to Viacom).
Ref 6 shouldn't have Amazon.co.uk linked, as it just redirects to the previously linked Amazon.com.
Refs 21 and 32 need en-dashes.
PopCrush shouldn't be in italics, as it's not a printed source.
Ref 101 isn't actually published by the Official Charts Company → change it to UKChartsPlus.

Overall, I like the great detail and comprehensiveness of this article: it covers the song extensively and is certainly informative. However, I can see you've tried to keep the prose as fresh and variable as possible, but it does mean some questionable choices of synonyms have been used. At the end of the day, however, most of these fixes won't take long to fix: I'll put it on hold to allow you to sort them. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck! I Am Rufus • Conversation is a beautiful thing. 13:36, 17 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done all. I've addressed all of the issues. By the way, thanks! — HĐ (talk) 07:19, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Marvellous job with the fixes – it now reads far more fluently, and having made a few more minor tweaks myself it easily meets the GA criteria. I therefore have no hesitation passing this: keep up the good work, and well done! (By the way, the backlog of music GAs has been dramatically reduced recently, so good job for contributing to it.) I Am Rufus • Conversation is a beautiful thing. 11:34, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.