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Talk:Felicity Smoak (Arrowverse)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:19, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • The opening sentence is a big 'un four run-on clauses, probably could split it at "first introduced...".
 Done
  • "was continually portrayed" is "continually" needed?
 Done
  • " Initially a one-episode guest star in the first season of Arrow, she went on to become a recurring character in season one" eh? I guess you mean after guest-starring in an early episode of season one, she went on to become a recurring character later in the season?
- Have reworded - does that read better? AutumnKing (talk) 17:23, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "DLC pack," probably worth linking DLC.
 Done
  • I think mostly we spell savvy with two v's.
 Done
  • " guest star[3] but following a positive response from show lead Stephen Amell[4] and from Warner Brothers executive Peter Roth[5][6] as well as from journalists at preview screenings[7] her role was extended to recurring through out the show's first season.[8]" never keen in the intrusive positioning of these refs. I'm certain our readers would be prepared to wait for the end of the sentence before finding the RS.
 Done
  • " until...the " check ellipsis spacing per WP:ELLIPSIS (I think a space on both sides is needed).
 Done
  • Apply that to the prose as well as the quote box.
 Done
  • "seventh, and penultimate, season" you only just mentioned that season 8 was the ultimate season so I don't think you need both seventh and penultimate here.
 Done
  • "without Rickards. [18]" no spaced between punc and ref.
 Done
  • "Felicity Megan Smoak[19] is ... " similar comment relating to ref placement.
 Done
  • "on July 24, 1989[21]" whether or not you keep the ref there, should be a comma after 1989.
 Done
  • "Her early years are..." mega sentence.... split a bit!
 Done
  • "Speaking after being made a series regular, Rickards commented" probably don't need "Speaking" here as she "comments..."
 Done
  • "Comic-Con" is hyphenated in our article.
 Done
 Done

Called away, back to complete soon. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:56, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  • "of The A.V. Club " that's italicised according to our own article.
 Done
  • "During season 2, when" two.
 Done
  • "Speaking in 2014, executive" avoid single-sentence paras.
 Done
  • "The season 4 premiere..." four.
 Done
  • "Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics" we put a comma after Engineering normally.
 Done
  • " loss of QC at" what is that?
 Done
  • A few more "Talking ... noted" and "Speaking .. noted" in there.
 Done
  • " men".[66]During " space after ref.
 Done
  • "the AV Club saw" you called it "The A.V. Club" (not italics) earlier, and already linked it. Be consistent.
 Done
  • "representations of women in STEM" no need to relink STEM. Also, for multiple references like that, consider including them all in a bullet pointed list under one ref to avoid the ugly "citekill" look.
 Done
  • "majority of Arrow's run.[89][90][91][92][93][94][95] " similar.
 Done
  • "In DC Comics canon" should that really be "In the DC Comics canon"?
 Done
  • "Oliver-Felicity" probably ought to be en-dash.
 Done
  • "critics.[103][46][104][105] " could do the same thing with these refs, but if not, please make them numerical order.
 Done
  • " event Crisis on Earth-X, the" this event is shown in quotes in the target articles.
 Done
  • Seems to be some unnecessary whitespace between para 1 and 2 of the Family section.
 Done
  • "father, Noah Kuttler (Tom Amandes). also" probably should be a comma, not a full stop.
 Done
  • "she later gives birth to Oliver and her daughter, Mia" reads really odd, do you mean she gave birth to her and Oliver's baby, Mia?
- Reworded, hopefully reads better. AutumnKing (talk) 19:33, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Going Rouge" rouge or rogue?!
 Done
  • "Felicity and Earth- 2 Laurel's" what is "Earth- 2 Laurel"?? I think this person should be introduced here, rather than a few sections further down...
- Added background. Do you think it is sufficient? AutumnKing (talk) 19:33, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "mid season" I would hyphenate this.
 Done
  • Another single-sentence para at the end of Costume section.
- Expanded paragraph. AutumnKing (talk) 14:38, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do you think there's a real justification for the use of two non-free images of Smoak? I'm not convinced that the second brings more to the party than the first...
minus Removed
  • "his identity.[22]Following" space after ref.
 Done
  • "for A.R.G.U.S..[176] " remove the last full stop.
 Done
  • A lot of relinking of the season articles, I'm not completely unhappy with it because they're all in the Storyline section and perhaps a way after the first links, but just thought I'd mention it.
- Have left in for reasons you mention. AutumnKing (talk) 19:33, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from an A.R.G.U.S. prison." having said that, no need to link A.R.G.U.S. again.
 Done
  • The Flash section has a couple of single-sentence paras.
 Done
  • " "Crisis on Earth X"," already linked but previously as "... Earth-X".
 Done
  • " become...you " ellipsis comment applies.
 Done
  • "'fan favorite'[224][225][51][226][227][31] or 'breakout' character,[228][229][230][231] " I'd really like those refs either in numerical order or bulleted so we only have one source number in line... Several examples of this in the early "Critical response" sections.
 Done
  • IGN be consistent across the prose and refs, italics or not?
 Done
  • "three episode The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak for Digital Spy" aren't episode titles normally in quote marks?
 Done

That's enough for a first quick scan. I'll put the nomination on hold while we go through these initial comments. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:41, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Done everything as asked, just a couple of queries regarding rewording. Let me know if you think there is any more work to do. Many thanks. AutumnKing (talk) 19:33, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, quick additional question, would you say that the length/level of detail in the article is an issue at all ? Many thanks. AutumnKing (talk) 20:13, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
It is very detailed. But I would say that if you were considering heading to FAC then this would be fine. I'll make another pass over the article later. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 07:55, 12 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I had a review of the above items and the general status of the article now and I'm happy that it meets the GA criteria. Great work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 10:07, 14 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

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