Talk:Feedback (Janet Jackson song)/GA1

GA Review

Here are my comments. The article is currently on hold, meaning that you have about a week to fix the problems outlined below.

Some of the prose is awkward, and I noticed some grammar and punctuation errors. I would strongly suggest performing (or asking WP:LOCE to do) a full, thorough copyedit.
The lead needs to be expanded to fully summarize the article.
Some information is missing from the article. The following sections would encompass what's missing. (for a good example, look at The Sweet Escape (song).
- Background and writing (who wrote it, how the idea was conceived, etc.)
- Expansion of the "Music and lyrics" section (analysis of the lyrics—not criticism; that belongs in the criticism section—the chords, the style, etc.)
- The Critical reception section could do with more reviews and commentary.
- A section describing the chart performance would be good, but not necessary.
- It should have a "Personnel" section.
In the Music video section, the references all shouldn't be at the end unless they're all referencing the last statement. References should come after the sentence that they reference.
References usually belong after punctuation, at the end of a sentence. There were many references in the middle of sentences; they should be moved to the end of sentences in most cases. (WP:REF)
I have added {{fact}} tags to all statements needing references.
Was there any negative feedback on the song? I would suggest reading through reviews for the song, and finding an acceptable proportion of positive to negative reviews to quote in the critical feedback section.

Resolved fact tags
Put all sources at end of sentances - Sources all come after the punctuation
Sorted the sources for the "Music Video" section
Expanded both the "Critical" and "Commercial" sections
Done "Personnel"
Article copy edited by a former member of the Copy edit league
Lead expanded
- — Realist² (Come Speak To Me) 00:28, 20 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This looks good, I'll be passing the article shortly. Excellent work. Keilana|^{Parlez ici} 05:16, 20 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thankyou, you did a great review, great advise. Yay, my first GA in what feels like ages. :-) — Realist² (Come Speak To Me) 05:19, 20 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]