Talk:Farm to Market Road 1528/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TCN7JM (talk · contribs) 23:37, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going on a review marathon, this will come first. T C N7JM 23:37, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Why isn't the map in the infobox? I also have to say, that map isn't done very well. OpenStreetMap isn't really the best way to make maps. The map can stay, but you should definitely either consider redoing it or waiting until someone from the maps task force makes one using better software.

I moved the map to the infobox, and I'm going to keep it, since the maps task force is still way behind. Also, I am no longer able to create KMLs, as my computer messes up whenever I try to open Google Earth.

For the major junctions you should name a city the junction is near or in for all six intersections. It looks very awkward otherwise.

Added info for the two junctions.

Lead

You're missing a space after the second comma in the first sentence. Neither of the commas in that sentence should be there, by the way.

Removed commas (they were mistakes anyways)

passes through portions of the Cooper Wildlife Management Area.

Added

"Portion of road" sounds really awkward. Try something else and see how it sounds.

Changed wording

All the State Highways should be linked to.

Added links

Most importantly, the lead should be a little bit longer for an article of this length. It should probably be two paragraphs. Mention the termini, a little more history, etc.

Expanded to add new paragraph.

Route description

Consider using the abbreviation for FM 1528 at the beginning of the first sentence instead of the full name.

Changed

The last comma in the third sentence and the first one in the next sentence are extraneous.

Removed

Speaking of those sentences, it's considered a bit of a faux pas in writing to end your sentences with a phrase that begins with "<verb>ing".

This style of writing has been allowed at my other GAs, so I'm going to stick with it.

Partially unsolicited second opinion: TCN7JM is correct in that it needs to be fixed. Allow me to demonstrate. "The road continues, entering the former community of Gough and intersecting FM 2068."→The road enters the former community of Gough and intersects FM 2068." I hope you see the difference in comprehension and clarity. In addition, this is not your other GAs, so if you were asked to fix something, you should probably fix it. –Fredddie ™ 04:13, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The highway bends southward, and travels - Extra comma again.

Removed

See, you're correct on abbreviating SH 24...just in the wrong spot. It's typically abbreviated the first time it's used in the article, so it should be done in the lead. The first one here in the RD can just use the abbreviation.

Fixed

All three of the commas in the two sentences immediately after the SH 24 usage are unneeded.

Removed

The comma after "Cooper Lake" is unnecessary.

Removed

In the sentence after that, only the first comma should remain.

Deleted excess commas

"Management Area" is used just after that for no reason. Get rid of it.

Erased. This was a mistake that I made while writing.

The next sentence needs a comma after "Cooper".

Added

You're pretty inconsistent in linking Farm to Market Roads.

Fixed

History

"At least" isn't generally used in time circumstances. Consider rephrasing the sentence.

Changed wording

redesignated to → redesignated as

Fixed

I don't think you need the name of the minute order in the sentence. It reads poorly.

Reworded

When you use "Spur 39", don't you mean "Loop 39"? There's no Spur 39 earlier in the article.

This was another mistake (removed)

Major intersections

It's either "Bus. SH 24" or "Bus. SH 24-D", not both. One is used here and one is used in the infobox. It needs to be consistent.

Changed/Fixed

"Overlay" isn't commonly used to describe a concurrency. Consider either "overlap" or "concurrency", and use a directional. (ex. Eastern end of SH X concurrency)

Went with concurrency

You need to use {{LegendRJL}} at the bottom to produce a color key.

Swapped

"St." shouldn't be used to abbreviate "Street".

Fixed

I was dangerously close to failing this, but I'll put it on hold to give you seven days to fix the article up. T C N7JM 00:43, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I have replied to all your concerns. Thanks for the review. - Awardgive, the editor with the msitaken name. 03:40, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will look over the article again. T C N7JM 03:42, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Second review

Map

Redo it. The dimensions are all out of whack. It should ideally be at a 1.7:1 ratio, and it should probably be uploaded at a larger size.

Lead

The way this is written makes no sense. You should have all the intro stuff and a summary of the RD in the first paragraph and the history in the second one.
You can abbreviate FM 64 in the lead and in the RD, as an FM abbreviation was already used previously in the article.
Same with the State Highways. "State Highway 27, now State Highway 24" could just as well read "SH 27, now SH 24".
No, no. What are you doing? Wikilink SH 24 the first time you mention it, and use the abbreviation there, as it's the first time a SH is mentioned.

Route description

Standards change. You need to get rid of the overabundance of <verb>ing statements. Rewriting a few sentences can't take too much time.

History

"Sections of road" sounds and looks bad, too. Try segments, maybe?
You can abbreviate all the SHs.

Major intersections

Still looking for directionals on the concurrency termini. It seems to be a north-south concurrency.

That's all. Still on hold. T C N7JM 04:14, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have addressed all new concerns. Awardgive, the editor with the msitaken name. 21:29, 29 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Passing per [1]. --Rs chen 7754 21:54, 29 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]