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Talk:Fannie Lou Hamer/GA2

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 14:03, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one - I see many of the issues from the first GA review have been addressed. I'm still a bit concerned about some of the prose and sourcing, and have tagged immediate issues. I tend to copyedit as I go and raise issues accordingly. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:03, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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Early life, family and education

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Civil rights activism

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Simply that my spell-checker puts a red-line under "traveled" suggesting "travelled", which I think is just a mismatch against US / UK English, and just want confirmation there is no actual issue here. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:27, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Ah! Oh yes, @Ritchie333: It is indeed a common US spelling. Coffee // have a ☕️ // beans // 17:29, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do we know anything more about the literacy test described here? Main reason I ask is we have something similar in the UK for immigrants called the Life in the UK Test (there's a potential Wikipedia article) which you need to pass to gain residency. It's full of things like "what major era of British History ended with the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485?" which many native Britons could not answer.
  • The block quotation about the police beatings seems overly-detailed. Can we simply summarise this in prose?
    • It is possible to. However I would highly prefer if we could keep it, as it's one of the most graphic first-hand deceptions of what blacks had to face in the Southern US all the time just a few years ago. (and honestly till this day to a large extent)... @Ritchie333: I've moved it in the section though, do you think that will work? Coffee // have a ☕️ // beans // 17:28, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
For me it's overly graphic - we get the basic gist from the rest of the prose that the police were being unreasonable and aggressive without having to go into the specifics. It's also close paraphrasing of a source, which a GA should not have (see criteria 2d). Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 18:10, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After becoming a field secretary for the SNCC in 1963" - what's the SNCC?
  • "a Mississippi State highway patrolman took out his billy club and intimidated the activists to leave" - what's a "billy club" and would "instructed" or "forced" be better than "intimidated"?
    • A billy club is similar to a police baton (I think that's what you call them across the pond...) I used intimidated here because he didn't actually strike them with it.... more used it in a threatening manner to get them to leave the establishment. Coffee // have a ☕️ // beans // 17:33, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Freedom Democratic Party and Congressional run

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  • "that would give the Freedom Democratic Party two seats" - is this the same party as the "Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party" mentioned earlier?

Later activism

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Honors and awards

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References

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Summary

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  • I'm all done with the first pass of the article, having looked at everything in depth. I don't see any insurmountable problems that can't be fixed within a week, so I'll put the review on hold now. Main issues I see is that some of the citations are incomplete and need checking, the issue with close paraphrasing / quotes as described above, and the final bulleted list needs serious attention. Once all that's done, I'll have another read through and see what other work is required - at that point we should be close to meeting the GA criteria I think. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 18:18, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Just having another read through, one outstanding thing I missed : "This requirement had emerged in some (mostly former confederate) states after the right to vote was first given to all races by the 1870 ratification of the Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. These laws along with the literacy tests and local government acts of coercion, were used against blacks and Native Americans" The source given doesn't seem to support all of this, it's more just a general description of the literacy test.

Other than that, I've tidied up the prose a bit more and pending the above source check, we should be good to go. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 21:21, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Of course, since the only thing stopping this from GA now is some sourcing issues, we could always just ping Megalibrarygirl and get her to have a quick shufti. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 22:04, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Ritchie333: do you just need the sources cleaned up/verified/both? :) Megalibrarygirl (talk) 23:08, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Megalibrarygirl: Just a source that verifies the text in green above - AFAIK all the sources pass muster since I've checked them. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 23:09, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
OK! Cool. I'll see what I can find, Ritchie333 Megalibrarygirl (talk) 23:10, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Ritchie333 I added a Civil rights report for Mississippi from 1965 and a NYT article about the poll taxes. Interestingly, I just wrote Evelyn Thomas Butts who was one of the activists to helped abolish poll taxes. She was from Virginia. :) Megalibrarygirl (talk) 23:26, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Good stuff, so on that note I think this meets the GA criteria and I'm happy to pass the review. A good result for Black History Month, I think. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 23:31, 13 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]