Talk:Family (Star Trek: The Next Generation)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 02:33, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 02:33, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Please add an alt for all of the images.

Done. I must get back into the habit of including those. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I do not believe the comma following Georgia Brown in the first paragraph of the “Plot” section is necessary.

Removed - although I thought I was going mad for a second as I was using the find function to track down the mention and it kept skipping the plot section! Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I think the first two paragraphs of the “Plot” section should be combined into one as they are relatively small/short. However, this is only a suggestion and not a requirement if you prefer the current set-up.

Yep, happy to go with that. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Can you clearly the meaning of the last sentence of the third paragraph? What were René’s dreams?
Change “some problem” to “some problems”.

Done. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Change “described how he hated the episode idea as” to “described that he hated the episode idea as” or “described why he hated the episode idea as”.

Done. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Change “wasn’t” in the sentence to “He said it wasn’t” to was not to avoid contractions.

Contraction removed. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I am assuming that you want to make Susanne Lambdin into its own article one day in the future, but I wanted to bring your attention to the red link. (You do not need to change this at least for the GAN).

I did at the time - for the Star Trek DYK work I was trying to balance out the male-centric hooks with more female ones, but ultimately I couldn't find much more on her to warrant an article. As such I've removed the red link. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I would suggest revising the following sentence (“Such was the link to "The Best of Both Worlds", that Hunt considered it to be the third part in the arc.) as it seem weak and sounds odd to me. Clarify the meaning of “Such” and “the link” and I think this will greatly improve this sentence. It seems somewhat shoehorned into the paragraph, to me at least.

Changed it to "Because the plot of "Family" followed on from the events of "The Best of Both Worlds"," Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Miyagawa: As a whole, the article is already very strong and on the level expected for a GA. My comments are relatively few and more nitpicky. Once my comments are addressed, then this will be a quick and easy pass. Aoba47 (talk) 03:30, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thanks for the review. One of my favourite episodes, although I was surprised when creating the article that Roddenberry disliked it so much. Miyagawa (talk) 08:18, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Just re-read it and realised I'd missed out a line about Star Trek Generations in which Robert and Rene are mentioned towards the start of the film. I'd added that in now. Miyagawa (talk) 08:24, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Miyagawa: Thank you for your quick responses. The article was a very informative and comprehensive read. Great job! This is a definite ✓ Pass! Let me know if you need any help or reviews for other articles.