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Talk:Fall of Enugu/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 13:10, 27 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll pick this one up. Ealdgyth (talk) 13:10, 27 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
  • Refs:
    • "Obasanjo, Olusegun (1981). My Command. East African Publishers. ISBN 9789966250155." - the isbn doesn't work with WorldCat - it gives me this error. Google Books let me see the library holdings, though so it just probably needs correcting somehow?
  • Lead:
    • "capital of the declared Republic of Biafra." ... perhaps "successionist" instead of declared?
  • Background:
    • "from other ethnic groups" can we name them or at least use "from other ethnic groups in Nigeria."?
    • "In September 1966 soldiers of the Nigerian Armed Forces inflicted a series of massacres against " suggest "In September 1966 soldiers of the Nigerian Armed Forces massacred Igbo residing..."
    • "Foreign nationals were advised by their own government" should be "governments", I presume
    • "and nearly coming within 100 miles of Lagos" I suspect it's just "and coming within 100 miles of Lagos"
    • "He spent the following weeks" Gowon or Danjuma?
    • "mobilised in Biafra" "in Biafra" isn't needed.
  • Nigerian offensive:
    • "Ojukwu was asleep in the Biafran State House when the federal troops attacked, and awoke at the sound of gunfire and mortar explosions to find the building deserted of his guards and aides and surrounded by the federal forces." Awkward - suggest "Ojukwu was asleep in the Biafran State House when the federal troops attacked, and awoke to the sound gunfire and mortar explosions to find his guards and aides gone and the building surrounded by federal forces."
  • Aftermath:
    • "and of the few hundred civilians in Enugu most were being sheltered and cared for by Catholic missions" suggest "and most of the few hundred civilians in Enugu were being sheltered and cared for by Catholic missions."
    • "it could have destroyed the Biafran forces in a pursuit and ended the war sooner." clunky. Suggest "it could have pursued and destroyed the Biafran forces and ended the war sooner."
    • "The federal forces pressed on with their offensive throughout the month, securing Asaba and Calabar, further encircling Biafra." seems out of place here, suggest moving ahead of the sentences about the radio moving around and pretending to be in Enugu.
  • I randomly googled three phrases and only turned up Wikipedia mirrors. Earwig's tool shows no sign of copyright violation.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:11, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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