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Talk:Fakhr al-Din Iraqi/GA1

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:21, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]


I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:21, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Image is appropriately tagged; sources are reliable.

  • "which is mostly written in the form of a ghazal". Suggest "most of which were written in the form of a ghazal". Similarly in the body you have "The divan of Iraqi is mostly written in the form of a ghazal": suggest "The divan of Iraqi is mostly written in the form of ghazals".
  • "the leader of the Multani branch of the Suhrawardiyya": suggest "a Sufi sect" or "a Sufi order" at the end of the sentence, to help readers avoid having to click through.
  • "Iraqi settled in Konya": not a well-known location, so perhaps "in what is now Turkey"? Or "in Anatolia", as you have it in the body?
Done. Added the latter. --HistoryofIran (talk) 22:25, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Although the work was written in same style of Iraqi's era" is Chittick arguing that the divan may have been composed later, or just the introduction?
The latter. I've made it more clear now. --HistoryofIran (talk) 22:36, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Many of the stories in the Muqaddima give context for Iraqi's ghazals, but lacks historical importance": what do you mean by "lacks historical importance"?
Changed it a bit, thoughts? [1] --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:50, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'They focus a lot on Iraqi's shahidbazi ("perhaps excessively" according to Feuillebois), i.e. "one who gazed upon the image of the divine witness in the faces of boys."' Is there a link for shahidbazi? I am not at all sure what the quote is trying to say by "in the faces of boys". Is this a reference to homosexuality? Or to the innocence of children? Or something else?
Rewrote it, should make sense now. [2]. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:56, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Presumably the Nafahat al-uns and the Habib al-siyar have biographical information about Iraqi, but we don't say that.
    Respectfully, the section is about the historiography of Iraqi, so surely it is relevant? This bit not only refers to the Nafahat al-uns and Habib al-siyar, but also later sources in general, which should adress what is left. --HistoryofIran (talk) 01:02, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    Sorry, I don't think I was clear -- what I meant was that I suspect the sentence should read "Later sources rely heavily on the information from the Muqaddima for their biographical details about Iraqi. These sources include..." I don't think it's clear as written what it is these sources are relying on the Muqaddima for. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:11, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Like this? [3] --HistoryofIran (talk) 01:26, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll read through again when you've addressed these; I think a bit more copyediting is needed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:41, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi again Mike. Thank you very much for yet another review! --HistoryofIran (talk) 22:25, 21 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Last fix looks good; passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:40, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Incidentally, I'm not at all sure I'm getting the alphabetization right when I add these to the GA pages -- please correct any mistakes I make. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:44, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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