Talk:Excuse Me Mr./GA2
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Will start on this today, most likely. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- August 21, 1996 should be 21 August 1996 since this is an English article
- Yes, but this article is written in American English in which MMMM DD, YYYY is officially used per WP:MOS
- That is true, but I would recommend changing it to English instead since that is the bands' nationality --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake – No Doubt is an American band, not an English one. Carbrera (talk) 18:40, 3 June 2020 (UTC).
- Carbrera Sorry I must have misread something; all date formats etc should be American English. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:47, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake – No Doubt is an American band, not an English one. Carbrera (talk) 18:40, 3 June 2020 (UTC).
- That is true, but I would recommend changing it to English instead since that is the bands' nationality --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
- Bullet points are supposed to be used instead of hlists
- Adjusted.
- Link the music video on YouTube in the infobox
- Is this required instead of under "External links"?
- Yes --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
- Identify them as "American rock band" in the lead's first sentence
- I think it would be incorrect to label the band as "rock" as there is much discussion regarding why type of band No Doubt is. Others have called No Doubt a "ska band" and an "alternative" one. Because of this, I think just to leave it as is would be best.
- "It was written by" → "The song was written by"
- Adjusted.
- "and produced by" → "while produced by"
- Adjusted.
- "The song was released as the fourth single from Tragic Kingdom" → "It was released on CD as the fourth single from the album"
- Not adjusted; I discuss this in detail below
- "on August 21, 1996" → "on 21 August 1996"
- Not adjusted per date comment above.
- ""Excuse Me Mr." has also been included on their" → "The song has also been included on the band's"
- Adjusted.
- "Musically, "Excuse Me Mr." is a rock-influenced ska song" → "Musically, the former is a rock-influenced ska track" as rock wikilink should be in the first sentence instead
- Adjusted.
- "also created but never released" → "also created, but never released"
- Adjusted.
- "was selected as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup song." → "received positive reviews from music critics and was often selected by them as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup track." as a proper overview of the reception is needed
- Adjusted; I reworded this differently so "critics" would not be used in the same sentence twice too.
- Remove wikilink to Record chart
- Adjusted.
- "and Canada and peaking at" → "and Canada, and peaking at"
- Adjusted.
- Name the chart of New Zealand in the lead
- Adjusted.
- "directed the music video for “Excuse Me Mr.” during" → "directed the accompanying music video in"
- Adjusted.
- "It features two different storylines: the first shows" → "The visual features two different storylines, with the first showing"
- Adjusted.
- "crowded with paparazzi while the second" → "crowded with paparazzi, while the second storyline"
- Adjusted.
- "No Doubt has performed "Excuse Me Mr." at" → "No Doubt have performed the song for"
- Adjusted.
- "while serving as the guest musical act on Saturday Night Live" → "on Saturday Night Live while serving as the guest musical act" since otherwise it sounds like they were guests on the latter tour
- Adjusted.
- "and at their" → "and at the band's"
- Adjusted.
Background and release
[edit]- "while their producer" → "while the song's producer"
- Adjusted.
- "and produced by" → "while produced by"
- Adjusted.
- Remove wikilinks to No Doubt and Tragic Kingdom
- Adjusted.
- Reword the second sentence to mentioning the exact release date of the album, and what position the track was released from on it; something like this.
- Adjusted.
- "which was the group's first record" → "which was the band's first record"
- Adjusted.
- "the band members" → "the members of No Doubt"
- Adjusted.
- "that helped popularize No Doubt" → "that helped popularize the band"
- Adjusted.
- "stated that this allowed" → "stated that it allowed"
- Adjusted.
- "but the band members" → "but the members"
- Adjusted.
- "with their then-producer, Wilder, who wanted the group" → "with their then-producer Wilder, who wanted the band"
- Adjusted.
- Wikilink liner notes to itself
- Adjusted.
- "No Doubt told" → "The band told"
- Adjusted.
- "the album's eventual second single" → "the latter's eventual second single"
- Adjusted.
- "The song was first released on August 21, 1996" → "The song was first released as a CD single on 21 August 1996"
- I think this would be a misleading statement as the CD singles were strictly promotional.
- Mention it as being promotional at this point, then. --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
- Remove the following sentence's wikilink to CD single
- My comment directly above refers to this suggestion as well.
- Target promotional CD singles to Promotional recording
- Adjusted.
- "in that country" → "across that country"
- Adjusted.
- "promotional CD single was also made using the same cover art from" → "promo CD single was also made using the same cover art as"
- Adjusted; although I do not think abbreviating "promotional" is necessary. The CD release itself uses the world "promotional", not "promo", too.
- "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" release" → "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" (1997)"
- Adjusted.
Composition and lyrics
[edit]- "The A.V. Club' Partridge described the single as a rock-influenced track" → "Partridge described the track as a rock-influenced song"
- Adjusted
- "that helped form No Doubt" → "which helped form the band"
- Adjusted
- "and then used "Excuse Me Mr." as an example" → "and cited "Excuse Me Mr." as an example"
- Adjusted
- "album review of Tragic Kingdom that "Excuse Me Mr." is" → "review of the album that the track is"
- Adjusted
- Remove target to Tempo on beats per minute
- Removed
- "The key of the song is in F major with Stefani's" → "The key of the song is set in F major, with Gwen Stefani's"
- Adjusted
- "each of the song's two verses" → "each of the two verses"
- Adjusted
- "The song's message is the opposite of" → "The message is the opposite of that conveyed within"
- Adjusted
- "Stefani sings with an anxious tone" → "Stefani sings in an anxious tone"
- Adjusted
- Wikilink Circus music to itself
- Adjusted
- "suggest that they are" → "suggest No Doubt are"
- Adjusted
- Remove target to Bridge (music) on middle eight
- Adjusted
- ": "It's almost" → ", "It's almost"
- Adjusted
- Wikilink Noisey to itself as we do that for sub-section redirects
- There is no article for Noisey though.
- See Wikipedia:Redirect#Self-redirects and I have made this minor fix for you
- "whereas Browne from Entertainment Weekly" → "while Browne from"
- Adjusted
- "that the subject of the song's matter" → "that the subject matter of the song"
- Adjusted
Reception
[edit]- "Several critics described "Excuse Me Mr." as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom." → ""Excuse Me Mr." was met with positive reviews from music critics, with several describing it as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom."
- Adjusted
- Remove wikilink on The A.V. Club
- Adjusted
- "reanalyzed Tragic Kingdom" → "reanalyzed it"
- Adjusted
- "noted that all three of them" → "noted that all three of the songs"
- Adjusted
- "as a banger that" → "as a "banger" that"
- Adjusted
- "over twenty years ago; she also selected it" → "over 20 years ago; she also selected the track"
- Adjusted
- "With a similar opinion," → "Expressing a similar opinion,"
- Adjusted
- Target Observer to The New York Observer
- Adjusted
- "called the single" → "called it"
- Adjusted
- "she also classified it as" → "she also classified the track as"
- Adjusted
- "MTV News's Diblasi was impressed by" → "Diblasi was impressed by"
- Adjusted
- "on the parent album" → "on the album" since we already know what album you are referencing
- Adjusted
- "due to its ability" → "because of its ability"
- Adjusted
- "In the United States" → "In the US"
- Adjusted
- "but it did reach the" → "though did reach the"
- Adjusted
- "where it debuted at" → "with the track debuting at"
- Adjusted
- "27; similarly, it became" → "27. Similarly, it became" since the sentence currently needs splitting
- Adjusted
- "During its ninth week within the rankings, it reached" → "During its 9th week within the rankings, the track reached" as MOS:NUM suggests using the same numbering for comparative values like this to 12
- Adjusted
- "on March 31, 1997" → "on 31 March 1997"
- We discussed this above.
- "in United States and Canada" → "in the United States and Canada"
- Adjusted
- "On May 25, 1997," → "On 25 May 1997,"
- We also discussed this above.
- Name the New Zealand chart properly with the appropriate wikilink/target
- Adjusted
- "Four weeks later it reached its peak at number 11, becoming the fourth top 40" → "The track ultimately peaked at number 11, becoming the 4th top 40"
- Adjusted
- "from the parent album" → "from the album"
- Adjusted
Music video
[edit]- Mention the release date in the first sentence
- Added
- "It serves as the fourth" → "It served as the fourth"
- Adjusted
- "Filming for the video was" → "Filming for the visual had been" to avoid repetitive wording
- Adjusted
- "The video opens with No Doubt" → "The video opens with the band"
- Adjusted
- "other members of the band, Stefani" → "other members, Stefani"
- Adjusted
- "resorting to pushing the other members" → "with her resorting to pushing them"
- Adjusted
- "dance provocatively as the camera" → "dance provocatively, as the camera"
- Adjusted
- "Before the song's second verse" → "Before the song's second verse begins"
- Adjusted
- "the hopes that nearby" → "the hopes that nearby people" to specify they are all nearby
- Adjusted
- "fail to do so, so Stefani" → "fail to do so and Stefani"
- Adjusted
- "as a group of paparazzi" → "while a group of paparazzi"
- Adjusted
- "in front of the photographers" → "in front of the paparazzi"
- Adjusted
- "The video was selected for" → "The clip was selected for"
- Adjusted
- "within the top ten on the" → "within the top 10 on the"
- Adjusted
- "on No Doubt's compilation" → "on No Doubt's compilation DVD"
- Adjusted
- Target CD to Compact disc on the first mention in this section since all of other mentions of "CD" have been appropriate for different targets
- Adjusted
Live performances
[edit]- "as the second song of" → "as the second song on"
- Adjusted
- "at the July 1, 1997 show" → "at their 1 July 1997 show"
- Not adjusted.
- "released in No Doubt's first live album" → "released on the band's first live album"
- Adjusted
- "On the December 7, 1996" → "On the 7 December 1996"
- Not adjusted.
- Change Saturday Night Live to Saturday Night Live (SNL) with the same target, though
- I don't think its necessary to group its colloquial name in with this. I don't refer back to the show again.
- "their appearance, they performed both their previous single" → "their appearances, they both performed their previous single,"
- Adjusted
- "and "Excuse Me Mr."." → "and "Excuse Me Mr.", respectively."
- Adjusted
- "The song was performed during" → "The song was performed for"
- Adjusted
- "A majority of the songs" → "A majority of the tracks"
- Adjusted
- "but when No Doubt returned with songs" → "but when the band returned with tracks"
- Adjusted
- "like "Excuse Me Mr." and "Happy Now?"," → "like the song and "Happy Now?","
- Adjusted
- Wikilink Greg Kot to himself
- Adjusted
- "the performance and Kot compared" → "the performance, and Kot compared"
- Adjusted
- "For the 2002" → "For No Doubt's 2002"
- Adjusted
- ""Excuse Me Mr." was performed during" → "the song was performed during"
- Adjusted
- "in between singing" → "in between singing"
- What did you want me to change here?
- Sorry, this was a typo on my part but I found the missing word and added it --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
- "Their performance of" → "The band's performance of"
- Adjusted
- "at the November 22–23 and 29, 2002" → "for the 22–23 and 29 November 2002"
- Not adjusted per above.
- "on the group's second live album" → "on their second live album"
- Adjusted
- "their first official shows since 2004" → "their first official show since 2004"
- Adjusted
- Remove wikilink on Rolling Stone
- Adjusted
- Merge the third para with the second one
- Adjusted
- "during the first day" → "during the beginning day"
- Adjusted – I added the information between "During" and "English Beat" to this paragraph.
Track listing
[edit]- Retitle to Track listings
- Adjusted
- Sure these shouldn't be laid out in the same manner as "Amar pelos dois", for example?
- In my experience, I've seen both examples. Typically I see the example you provided where there are more releases than just a few. GA articles like Just a Girl and Spiderwebs use what you stated, whereas others like Make Me Like You and Bitch I'm Madonna use the current one I have displayed. Carbrera (talk) 19:05, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Please see [1] and re-write everything accordingly.
- Adjusted
- Use
{{spaced ndash}}
so there is the right space between credits and personnel.
- Adjusted
Charts
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Check that all of these have been archived using the tool
- Done
- Use English date formatting for all the refs
- Done in American English
- Copyvio score looks really good at 18.0%!
- Sounds good.
- Wikilink The A.V. Club to itself on ref 3
- Adjusted
- Target Complex to Complex Networks (company) on ref 4
- Adjusted
- Target Interscope to Interscope Records on ref 5
- Adjusted
- Remove "on Amazon Music" from ref 6's title and target Amazon.com to Amazon (company)
- Adjusted
- Target Trauma to Trauma Records on ref 8
- Adjusted
- Wikilink Noisey to itself on ref 14
- I mention something about this above in a previous section.
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 15
- Adjusted
- Remove wikilink to The A.V. Club on ref 18 per WP:OVERLINK
- Adjusted
- Target Observer to The New York Observer on ref 19
- Adjusted
- Cite RPM as work/website instead on ref 21, with the wikilink to RPM (magazine) and delete the Library and Archives Canada publisher
- Adjusted
- Remove wikilink on RPM for ref 22, plus delete the publisher
- This one is automatically generated through Template:Single chart
- Oh, my bad --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
- Remove wikilink on Billboard for ref 25, plus delete the publisher
- Adjusted
- Ditto for the publisher on refs 27 and 28
- Adjusted
- Cite AllMusic as publisher instead on ref 31 with the wikilink
- Adjusted
- Change ref 33 to citing NBC as the publisher, while remove Saturday Night Live parameter
- Adjusted
- Change AllMusic to publisher on ref 35
- Adjusted
External links
[edit]- Remove YouTube from this section
- Removed
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold for a week until the issues arisen are fixed. --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:00, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake – could I have an extra day or two to address this review? I've been a bit busy in my personal life and it would sure be appreciated. Carbrera (talk) 16:55, 6 June 2020 (UTC).
- Carbrera Yeah I am willing to allow it not 100% responded if things have obstructed you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:23, 7 June 2020 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake – Thanks for your cooperation. I have recently conpleted addressing your comments and I have left numerous responses for you above. Let me know if there is anything else I can do, Carbrera (talk) 03:42, 11 June 2020 (UTC).
- Carbrera Yeah I am willing to allow it not 100% responded if things have obstructed you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:23, 7 June 2020 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake – could I have an extra day or two to address this review? I've been a bit busy in my personal life and it would sure be appreciated. Carbrera (talk) 16:55, 6 June 2020 (UTC).
- Did some copyediting towards the end but will now give this a ✓ Pass! --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)