Talk:Evan Gattis/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 15:51, 20 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this Secret ^account 15:51, 20 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing...

"Gattis was a premier amateur baseball player in the Forney, Texas, area through high school." Early life mentions he was born in Forney but played amateur baseball in the Dallas area, fix.

Changed to DFW. Forney is within the DFW metroplex, but it does seem that his amateur career was more expansive than just Forney. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"However, anxiety and substance abuse...." Body of text doesn't mention anything about anxiety, only "the fear of failing", which is rather broad. Clarify or remove.

Fear and anxiety are interrelated. Fear can lead to anxiety. I added that he was diagnosed with clinical depression and "anxiety" in 2007 in the "Wandering", from the USA Today source. It should say "anxiety disorder", since "anxiety" is a part of all of our lives, and not a diagnosis. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"after receiving a phone call from the team's coach." Telling what?
- From ref AJC, "While there he got a call from Seminole State (Okla.) baseball coach Eric Myers, asking if he was interested in playing." I added that it was a recruitment phone call. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"He injured his knee at Seminole State, became burned out on baseball, and quit." I'm not sure "became burned out" is the best way to word this.
"and for a resort as a ski-lift operator at the Eldora Mountain Resort." - for a resort is redundant, remove.
- Check. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
New Age should be wikilinked somewhere as that what it was according to the source, as "spiritual advisor" is broad.
- Also check. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Twice named the SAL player of the week,[6] Gattis won the SAL batting title that season[3] and was named to the post-season all-star team.[6]" The citations can be merged, being on the same sentence, also the prose here seems a bit awkward.
- Agreed. Rewrote it and split into two sentences. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"while his father was being interviewed live by the Braves' television broadcast." - seems like trivia, remove.
- Yeah, I didn't add that. Removed. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The fan winced over in pain and reportedly lost a shoe in the incident" - trivia, remove.
- Didn't add that either. Removed. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
On April 16, Gattis went 4-for-4 with one home run in a 1–0 victory, the first time a player has done this since Rogers Hornsby in 1929.[28] Done what??
- Had gone 4-for-4 with a home run in a 1-0 victory. It's redundant to say it twice. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
No close paraphasing concerns, all sources are reliable, all images are free of use, just fix the prose and I'll pass it, on hold for now. Thanks Secret ^account 14:45, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ok passing. Secret ^account 15:58, 22 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Now let's see if I have enough points to get to the next round... 16:07, 22 April 2014 (UTC)