Talk:Eusèbe Jaojoby/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 11:50, 11 January 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   Why is "salegy" italicized? Samba, bossa nova, etc are never italicized.

I italicized it on the first use because it's a foreign word that is not familiar to the average English-language reader, unlike "samba" or "bossa-nova". Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "He is the most enduringly popular of the originators of the salegy style that emerged in the 1970s." - Too POVy, how about "He is often cited as one of the originators of salegy, a style that emerged in the 1970s."

modified. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "at home" Is this true?

Yes, he continues to tour in Madagascar, where he lives. In 2011 he was part of the THB tour with Tsiliva and Lola (see this). Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "He is widely referred to as the "King of Salegy".[2]" merge this with the second-last sentence

Done. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. I would add the {{Infobox Musician}}

Done. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "or experimenting with the performance of Malagasy musical styles using electric guitar, bass and drum kit.[2]"

Done. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "Although no one person can be credited with creating the modern salegy genre, " or remove instead "person"

I have proposed a different edit that better captures the meaning I want to communicate here. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "Desiring more freedom to write songs and further develop the syncretic modern salegy style led Jaojoby to leave Los Matadores in 1975 for The Players, another regional band that was less well-established but more willing to take risks." incomplete sentence? I hardly understand this.

Reworded. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "before disbanding in 1979" do you know why?

That information doesn't appear to be available in the French and English sources I have at my disposal. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "Jaojoby was approached by a stranger " is he still a stranger?

Reworded. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "Donat to contribute several recordings to the first ever salegy compilation album"

Reworded. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "leading a newspaper to declare him the "King of Salegy"." do you know which?

No, that information is not available in my sources. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "deeply divisive 2001 presidential elections.[2]" not important to his biography

It is important to understand why he gave up on being involved in politics in 2004, don't you think? What information is missing here for the connection to be clear to a reader who isn't familiar with the situation? Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "semi-live conditions on the island of Reunion.[1]" - what is "semi-live"?

Added explanation. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "prestigious and historic" - Remove this

It is important to explain why this concert is different from all the others he's done in France. The Olympia is kind of the French equivalent of Carnegie Hall. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "The antsa is a group style common " what is a "group style"?

Reworded. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "syncopated " link this

Done. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. "accordion" ditto

Done. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:24, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   How reliable are

   Ref 1

"Launched on the web in 1998, UNESCO Web prize in 1999, 3,6 millions viewed pages a month and 330 000 monthly unique visitors in 2006, the on-line magazine Mondomix has since become the electronic media of reference for World Music." Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 4

Established since 2007, the Afrisson site provides detailed information about the music of every country in Africa and the western Indian Ocean, drawing on expertise from researchers in eight countries. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 5

Zomare is the website of a school in Diego-Suarez established by Said, former guitarist of Les Players, who performed with Jaojoby in his early days. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 9

This is Jaojoby's own website set up by his promoters for his concert at the Olympia. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 13

Courrier de Madagascar is a national newspaper and this is its website. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 16

Established in 2005, Runweb is a source of news and resources for inhabitants of Reunion. I'm using it to substantiate the fact that Jaojoby's wife formed a band, as described in the concert announcement published on this site. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. Ref 18

This is the original webpage set up by the organizer of the "chaine de solidarite" to help Jaojoby and his family pay for expenses related to the accident. Lemurbaby (talk) 04:55, 15 January 2012 (UTC)

1. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   See above

3. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

4. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

5. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• Thank you for offering to review this article, Great Orange Pumpkin! Jaojoby is a very important figure in Malagasy music (which is itself incredibly rich and interesting), so I hope you'll enjoy working with me on this review. I'm committed to making whatever changes need to be made for the article to meet GA level. This is the first "musician article" I've written. I modeled it on other GA and FA musician articles but look forward to your feedback where it needs further improvement to meet the standards for articles of this type. Cheers, Lemurbaby (talk) 04:28, 14 January 2012 (UTC)