Talk:Esther Drummond/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GAtechnical (talk · contribs) 13:48, 19 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Bits to improve
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
provide a caption for the image e.g. what episode is that from.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Section 1

Lead: new co-production. I think new is a bit out of date

I have amended this. Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Response to the character varied. Some critics praised her characterisation and portrayal. Should run into one.

I have altered this. Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Apperences: Drummond, a CIA watch. CIA needs to be in full and linked and then (CIA) in brackets as you mention it again. single word "Torchwood", and when Rex is fatally injured, Esther blames herself for his accident. Full stop new sentence after torchwood.

Harkness explains the history of the Torchwood Institute to Esther, but wipes her memory so she will not remember her findings. Should it be wiped her memories of their encounter.

Esther is forced to effectively kill camp manager Colin Maloney (Marc Vann) in unarmed combat to rescue Rex. How was she forced she was fighting for her life and didn't she break his neck. so paralyised instead of effectivly killed.

In "Immortal Sins", Esther is the one to work out that Gwen is being blackmailed into delivering Jack to the conspirators behind Miracle Day; Should be Esther works out that. Saves a few words.

What did Esther do/happen to her in the novel

I have tried to clarify most plot details whilst remaining concise. Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Reception link Sarah and link Hevins Phifer full name and link if possible if not state the media they work for.

Havins and Phifer are actors involved with the series and have their names linked earlier in the prose. Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

io9 should be itallics

I believe only print sources should be in italics? Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

2 bits a bit confused on how was Jack captured and she wasn't. Who instgated the resuce what did Esther play.

Then shouldn't it be Esther transfuses Jack's blood into Rex and is shot trying to protect him by the family?

Think I've done my best with everything. It's been a while since I've edited this article so I'm not so familiar with it. Thanks for the review. Eshlare (talk) 17:32, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Righty after improvements from you and a copy edit from me I think we have a complete article. Well done I'm promoting this to GA standard. GAtechnical (talk) 21:15, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]