Talk:Escape from New York/GA1
GA Review
[edit]GA review comments
[edit]Great article. A few, mainly prose issues:-
- Development: "He did not agree with the film’s philosophy..." clarify that the film referred to is Death Wish – suggest you say "this film"
- Casting: I think the words "such as Bronson" are redundant
- Pre-production
- Opening sentence is in need of a citation
- Saying that Carpenter was "overwhelmed" looks like opinion without a citation
- Production
- There are multiple problems with this sentence: "Carpenter and his crew convinced the city to shut off the electricity to ten blocks at a time at night and shot most of the movie in the summer of 1979 and 1980". First, "convinced" should be "persuaded"; second, there is no punctuation; third, you have "and" linking two unrelated clauses, which causes a non sequitur; fourth, "the summer of 1979 and 1980" must be "summers".
- Why is "Sun" capitalized?
- Re Liberty Island: further use of "convinced" for "persuaded". This sentence should read: "...managed to persuade the city officials to grant them access..."
- Reception
- Revenue to production ratio: if production costs were $7m. and total receipts $50m, that seems like a ratio of 7:1 not 10:1
- ”Newsweek praised Carpenter saying:..." What follows is very faint "praise" – sounds more as if they were being rude to him.
- (last line) Clarify that the film referred to is Cloverfield ("his film"?)
It's not worth putting the article on hold, as these will take you about 10 minutes to fix. I'll look around, see if anything else needs doing, but I don't think there can be much. Brianboulton (talk) 23:17, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
- All done Gary King (talk) 23:49, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
- Not quite all:-
- the sentence which says "...no one wanted him as a director, so he assumed he would make it...as a screenwriter" needs a citation
- "Sun" is still capitalized
- (Liberty Island) - its "grant" access, not "gain"
Brianboulton (talk) 00:28, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
- Missed the last one. I didn't do the others on purpose; Sun is supposed to be capitalized. That sentence is referenced to ref 11 which covers that whole paragraph. Gary King (talk) 01:06, 29 August 2008 (UTC)