Talk:Enrique's Journey

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Edits made by the below user(s) were last checked for neutrality on 2019-11-24 by User:Pelagic.

sarahisacarpenter (talk · contribs) has been paid by Sonia Nazario on their behalf. Their editing has included contributions to this article.

content

this article is still lacking. I'd say we need some researchers to read and add a little. Desert storm101 (talk) 18:42, 9 August 2008 (UTC)Desert storm101[reply]

Assessment comment

The comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:Enrique's Journey/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.

I have added references, a summary, and a infobox. the information is more accurate and more encyclopedic. I hope it is worthy of start or C level. Desert storm101 (talk) 18:39, 9 August 2008 (UTC)Desert storm101[reply]

Last edited at 18:39, 9 August 2008 (UTC). Substituted at 14:33, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

Summary section

The summary section right now is pretty bad. There are grammatical errors, inconsistent tenses, and redundant paragraphs. I would recommend removing the entirety of the last four paragraphs in the section, but I am not sure if that is too dramatic of an edit. I wanted some other feedback before doing so.

Additionally, we should clarify what Enrique thought about his mother's departure. The first paragraph says "Lourdes promises Enrique she will return quickly," and suggests that Enrique talked to his mother multiple times on the phone in the eleven years they were separated. However, the fourth paragraph says that "she was not planning to come back soon," and that the family was unable to explain this to Enrique because he was too young. This may not necessarily be contradictory, but I find it a bit confusing. Did she lie to him when she left to make him feel better, or did he just misunderstand? Did she tell him on the phone that she was going to be back soon, or that she wasn't planning on coming home? AlfonsoAnonymous (talk) 05:25, 23 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sandbox edits for proposed page improvements

Beyond My Ken, given your recent reverts of edits I conducted on this page (and Facing History and Ourselves, please see that Talk page as well), I have elected to begin a civil yet thorough discussion of some (in my view) obvious edits that could be made to both pages that would both bring the page up to better MOS standards (which I understand may not particularly interest you, fair enough) but would also improve the page itself.

Please see my sandbox for Enrique's Journey. I believe these edits address a number of problems with the page, namely an over-reliance on primary sources, maintenance tags (all but one of which have been removed), and content not directly relevant to the entry's subject (including a section dedicated to Sonia Nazario featuring content that would belong better on the Nazario page).

I hope that we can have a productive dialogue concerning this page and collaborate on the highest quality version we can attain (oh and if anyone else would care to chime in, please do!). Central Midfielder (talk) 17:23, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Discussion needs to talk place here not in your sandbox. Beyond My Ken (talk) 18:34, 23 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Grammar and usage

I started reading this and almost from the first paragraph, it’s incomprehensible with mystifying spelling, sentence fragments, on and on. Who wrote that? Needs fixed. 8.9.44.6 (talk) 21:06, 22 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]