Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GAN (CMLL World Tag Team Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while. MPJ-US 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Toolbox

I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer Review

So is the article conforming to American or British spelling? Done British, except for the direct quotes
Please use the "non-breaking space" between measurements and their units. Ex "250 kilometres" should be "250& nbsp;kilometres" (note: remove the space) Done

Copyright violations

this link outlines an issue of some repeated phrase from a separate source, they are not significant enough to be outright violations. Please do check on the link and see if you can rephrase some of it. Done I did rephrase some of it, what remains is minor and/or inevitable.

Disambiguation links

Y - checks out.

External links

Y - checks out.

Images

No copyright issues due to their age, so that is fine.
None of the pictures have alt text, please add those. Not done Not a requirement for GA

Sources

New York Times should be linked in the citation, at least the first time it's cited. Done
All web based sources should have an accessdate. Not done Do you mean that all references to the newspapers for instance need to have an accessdate? I am afraid I don't remember when I did access them.
Some dates are listed as "June 1, 1911" others use "1911-06-01", please pick a consistent format. Done

General review

"He was a man of commanding presence." - This is just a sentence fragment, can you elaborate? Done
" complicity with the thieves, but was" - no need for the comma Done
"injured by knife by ruffians" - repeating the "by" is just poor English, can you reword it Done
"encouraged by the Camorra and the police."... to do what?
"raided the apartment in 108 Mulberry Street" should be "at 108" Done
"After a 17-month trial" - comma after trial. Done
"After his conviction Alfano", comma after convicion. Done
"In prison he took on the old family" - shouldn't that be "took up"? Done
Foreign language words such as "Cammora" should be in italics, the article is pretty consistent on other words but not this one. Not done I am afraid I have to disagree, just as the word Mafia, Camorra has become common in English and does not need to be italicized.
"known as the Saredo Inquiry since it was led by senator Giuseppe Saredo and which unearthed an extensive political patronage system in the city of Naples.[5]" - this detail seems to be superflous to Alfano. Done Added a sentence to clarify.
The very next sentence is a total odds with the fact that a 1901 report did not mention him, but he was apparently the head of the organization from 1892? Done Added a sentence to clarify.
Using the term "rise to power" and then equating it to being arrested seems odd. Done Rephrased.
Still not sure of the timing of what is mentioned in the "early life" section, any posibility of putting some years in there? Done No exact chronology is available, but I did put some years.
The investigation got new momentum when Gennaro Abbatemaggio, a young camorrista and a former Carabinieri informer serving a jail sentence in Naples gave", should be a comma after "Naples" Done

@DonCalo: - This is generally a really well written, well sourced article. Only a few things to point out. I will probably read through it again but for now I am putting it on hold for 7 days to allow for improvements to be made
- Forgot to sign the above comment, it was made March 5, which means that I would need to see activity by March 12 to keep this review open. MPJ-US 12:45, 8 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@DonCalo: - So this has sat for for seven days with no signs of activity at all. At this point I am going to go ahead and fail the article, but feel free to address the issues and then submit it for GA again. MPJ -US 14:13, 12 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@MPJ-DK: - Sorry, I was unable to answer your suggestions at the time. I did work on them later on. DonCalo (talk) 07:14, 5 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]