Talk:Elmer Wilkens/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll review this in a few days. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- In the infobox, 6–7 looks like a record. Maybe
6 or 7
with a link to the same note (Note b) - Recommend splitting the part about playing in the NFL into its own sentence.
Early life and education
[edit]He attended Fort Wayne High School there, being one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the National Football League (NFL).
->He attended Fort Wayne High School and became one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the NFL.
- I think this section suffers a bit from WP:OVERLINK, but its nothing I would hold up the nom for. But things like basketball, freshman, sophomore, quarterback, senior, etc are a bit much for me.
- I delinked qb, football and basketball, but I think freshman, sophomore and senior are better to link; at other GA/FA reviews on football I believe I've seen reviewers suggest linking those terms.
rival
is a bit of an WP:EASTEREGG, not sure the link to Old Oaken Bucket is warranted or expected, especially if it isn't reference by name in the article.- The Old Oaken Bucket is the article on the Purdue/Indiana rivalry - I think it makes sense to link.
...as the last game at their long-time stadium, Jordan Field
comma probably isn't needed here.
Professional career
[edit]- You can just say "NFL" since you already spelled it out in the lead.
Later life and death
[edit]- This section suffers a bit from short, fragmented sentences. Could you look at options for combining sentences? (like owning the business until enlisting)
- Similar to the other article, he enlisted in the military or Army, not into the war. Recommended rewording a bit to note his enlistment and then service in World War II.
References
[edit]- Refs 23 through 27 should include the link and url-access field, if available.
- Refs 1, 2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 19, 20, 22 should have an access-date field.
- Unless I'm missing something, it appears each one already does?
- Archived the links.
- Spot checks:
- Ref #4 looks good.
- Ref #5 looks good.
- Ref #8 looks good.
- Ref #14 through #18 all look good.
- Ref #21 looks good.
Images
[edit]- All the photos are PD and appear appropriately tagged.
Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Gonzo fan2007: I've either corrected or replied to each of your points. BeanieFan11 (talk) 21:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:39, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.