Talk:Elizabeth Willing Powel/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ergo Sum (talk · contribs) 14:52, 23 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be taking this review. Ergo Sum 14:52, 23 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"During the time of the American Revolution" strikes me as vague. Was it during? Before? Done
The lone inline citation in the lede shouldn't be necessary Done
"Specifics of her education", just my own personal opinion: "specific" as a noun does not make for good English Done
Can combine the first two paragraphs of the Early life section Done
"was married to" can simply be "married" Done
"He became..." can be moved to before the sentence about the powerful families. Done
"survived their birth"...can drop the "their" Done
Comma after "birth" Done
"their home"..."a home" sounds more natural
"Her sister Anne..." the sister's name should be offset by commas Done
Her husband is mentioned twice as being the last colonial mayor. I would remove one of these mentions Done
The second paragraph of Public life can be added to the end of the first Done
"Remember Mrs. Powel"...should make the "R" lowercase by use of brackets, e.g. [r] Done
"A few months later" can be added to the end of the preceding paragraph
Can combine the first two paragraphs of Later life Done
Throughout, there are many citations stacked up at the ends of sentences. Are all of these needed or do they cite the same thing? If so, I would cut down on some of the duplicate ones.

Overall, a nice article On hold while we work through these. Ergo Sum 04:35, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

As to my own writing, having multiple citations generally means that there are pieces of that passage taken from different sources, where the information doesn't perfectly overlap, but where the information still fits thematically in a sentence or a paragraph. Having said that, one of the users who helped us with this is working on a more comprehensive book on the subject, which may gather a lot of this information in one place, and cut down on the spread of our sourcing. GMG^talk 12:31, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Ok. Pinging Coffeeandcrumbs, just to verify that this is the case. Ergo Sum 14:39, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Regarding "their home", this bit is more intentional in the wording. Powel house was not merely "a home", of which they had multiple, but became notable in its own right for being the home of the Powels. After Samuel's death Elizabeth spent more time in another of their homes across the river, in what was at the time outside the city.
- Ok. Ergo Sum 14:36, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Regarding "a few months later", I'm not sure I understand. The start of the preceding paragraph is tacked in time as November 1792, while the next paragraph is tacked in time as being "a few moths after November 1792". I'm not sure I understand how these can be combined. GMG^talk 12:45, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Sorry, that was a typo on my part. I meant the end of the preceding paragraph. Just so there isn't a one-sentence paragraph. Ergo Sum 14:28, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - Done GMG ^talk 14:48, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

All my concerns have been satisfied. Passing this GAN. Nice job. Ergo Sum 15:15, 29 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]