Talk:Elizabeth Sumner/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 13:26, 4 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:26, 4 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

General:
- Per the MOS - you really should refer to her (except in sections where others with the same surname might lead to confusion) as "Sumner". You use "Elizabeth", "Elizabeth Sumner", "Keawepo'o'ole" and "Elizabeth Keawepo'o'ole". It needs standardizing on one form.
  - Standardized it to just Keawepoʻoʻole. Let me know if I missed any.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Early life:
- "Another of her half-sister was Sarah Chapman Weed" - first, half sister of Nancy or Elizabeth? And do you mean "Another half-sister was" or "Another of her half-sisters was"?
  - See below.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- "Sarah, who became an associate of Queen Emma, had an antagonistic relation with Nancy and a conflict between them led to a rift in the two family." - one - does this actually impact Elizabeth? and two - do you mean "led to a rift between the two families" or "led to a rift in the family"?
  - There is an entire dissertation on this topic. Basically, the rift created between Sarah and Nancy resulted in Elizabeth distancing herself from her sister Nancy. Let me know if the changes makes more sense. There is a lot of family drama that had to be condense. That paragraph serves to mention her two sisters and explain the family rift.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Compositions:
- "called her by the name of Kapeka" called WHO Kapeka?
  - her → Keawepoʻoʻole.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Marriages:
- "pigtail suitor Achuck" needs a citation on it, as all quotes need citations
  - Done.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- "Through her eldest daughter Anastasia, Elizabeth is the great grandmother of Nalani Yvonne Olds Napoleon and Mauli Olds Aspelund." I'm not sure what this information is useful for - as these two people don't have articles. Suggest removing this bit, as it's pure trivia.
  - Removed but is there any recommended way to convey or mention this, so we know there are living descendants. Those two are modern day cultural figures/elders in Hawaii with local significance although not enough to write an article.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- "daughter's residence" - which daughter?
  - Added Mary.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- "This was most likely the Emma Street residence of the Cleghorn's, where Princess Kaʻiulani was born, before the family moved to ʻĀinahau." is tagged with needing a citation - it needs to be cited or removed.
  - Removed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I randomly googled three phrases and only turned up Wikipedia mirrors. Earwig's tool shows no sign of copyright violation.

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:38, 4 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Ealdgyth: I've addressed all the points you brought up. Let me know what else you would like.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 00:40, 7 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Saw this - but Monday and Tuesday are my hubby's days off so I'll get to this in the morning, don't think it'll be an issue. Ealdgyth - Talk 23:00, 9 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

LOoks good, passing this now. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:52, 10 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]