Talk:Elements (miniseries)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 17:37, 29 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Coming soon. Courcelles (talk) 17:37, 29 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The Copyvio detector shows some major red-flags. Are we copying them or are they copying us? Can you shed any light on this? (If we can get past this point, I'll conduct a full review). Courcelles (talk) 17:41, 29 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: I'm nearly positive that those sites are copying us. Some of the hits that Copyvio returns are indeed quoted in this article, but are properly sourced and integrated (e.g. the Paste quote, the AV Club quote). The top two Copyvio hits, however, look really sketchy, and I think they snagged the episode summaries from here to promote their episode lists. I didn't write the original info that they're copying, though, so I don't know if that's true or not (I integrated the info from Adventure Time (season 9), and re-wrote it for the article at hand).--Gen. Quon (Talk) 13:49, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I think I agree with your analysis, that they copied from us without attribution, rather than produced the content originally. On with the review!

"Elements is an American animated miniseries based on the show Adventure Time by Pendleton Ward." I dislike the "based on" structure here, given it was an actual part of the series, not some separate entity.

The first sentence has been re-written. It's a bit of a mouth-full, but it fixes the issue you mentioned here. Let me know how it reads and if it needs changing.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:49, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

" a dog with magical powers to change shape, grow and shrink at will." Need one more and in this sentence.

How does it read now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Link or explain BMO in the lead or plot summary,, not way down in the cast section.

Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ice King or the Ice King?

The show uses both, but I'm going to go with "Ice King" in this article, since it reads a bit better.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Elements will be released on DVD in Australia on July 3, 2018." Isn't this an American production? If so, the Oz DVD release isn't important enough for the lead. Original viewership would be more notable.

This is true, but it hasn't been released in the States on DVD (and I don't think it will). The DVD cover seen in the infobox is from the Aussie release. I'll add some viewership info, though, to balance this.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Also, for the lead, how many installments in the miniseries?
What is Ooo?

Added a definition.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"While she succeeded in empowering the other elementals they have relegated themseleves to their sections of Ooo as Patience had forced them to power up rather than allow them to do so themseleves." Sentence needs a comma somewhere. Also, "themseleves" is a typo... I'm like 90% confident?

I re-wrote this bit.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:47, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Total running time?

Added.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:48, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Added.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"The miniseries features vocal performances courtesy of the show's regular crew" Not sure 'courtesy' is the best word choice here.

I just changed it to "from the".--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

" this means that 0.2 percent of all households with viewers aged 18 to 49 years old were watching television at the time of the episodes' airing" -> "years old who were watching television"

Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:45, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's all from me. Courcelles (talk) 14:26, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: How do these changes look?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:58, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

They look good. Promoting. Courcelles (talk) 16:10, 2 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]