Talk:Elementary School Musical (The Simpsons)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Queenieacoustic (talk) 14:34, 6 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article later today or tomorrow. Queenieacoustic (talk) 14:34, 6 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Images

The article makes use of 2 non-free images, and both of them are used to show what guest stars appeared in the episode. This is seems very unnecessary, as you can easily find free images of both the Flight... and Glee members on Wikipedia. I recommend you delete both images and not upload a new one at all, or, if crucial to understanding the episode better, a non-free image that illustrates something important to the plot.

Plot

None of the main characters are mentioned by full name the first time, nor are they wiki-linked. You should also mention that Lisa is Homer's daughter etc. Remember that anyone who has never seen The Simpsons before should be able to understand the article.
...and it is revealed that the Peace Prize announcement was a ruse to bring Krusty here so he could... Replace "here" with "there".
Here she eagerly immerses herself in music and theater... Again, it should be "there".
The guest actors' names need to be wiki-linked.
When Marge takes her home at the end of the week, she has trouble... This sentence is slightly confusing. Replace "she" with "Lisa".
As Marge arrives to take Lisa home, they show off... Same as 5: Replace "they" with "Ethan and Kurt".
Kurt responds it was the magic of art and the two fly off... Awkwardly written sentence. Between "responds" and "it", write "that". Also, put a comma after "art".
(as seen on the DVD cover of their television series) Needs a source.

Production

The episode's writer and director are not mentioned.
The episode was officially announced on August 2, 2010 at the Television Critics Association meeting. The link used as source for this sentence is dead.
Flight of the Conchords stars Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie... Replace "stars" with "members".
...the design of the characters is based on them. Replace "is" with "are".
Looking through the list of guest-stars in the infobox, I notice that Stephen Hawking is included. Why is he not mentioned, or he didn't appear at all?

Cultural references

The opening flyby gag... What is a "flyby gag"?
The chalkboard gag makes a reference to the film, Inception. Redundant comma.
The Glee cast members were singing a version of "Good Vibrations". This sentence is worded awkwardly. Write something like: A scene in the episode shows the Glee cast members singing etc". Also, you should mention which band or artist wrote the song.
Also Krusty the Clown had... Add a comma after "also".
Lisa listens to This American Life voiced by Ira Glass. Same as number 3.
Since all sentences are linked to source number 7, you only need to put the source at the end of the paragraph.

Reception

In its original American broadcast,... Add what date the episode originally aired on.
The episode ranked twenty third in the 18–49 demographic for all five broadcast networks. Which broadcast networks?
You should explain what Ratings and Shares are for those who are not familiar with Nielsen-speak.

There are very few reviews of the episode in the article. You should add some more.

Lead

This section is extremely brief. It doesn't mention ratings data, what critics thought about it, but most of all, the section doesn't mention anything about the episode's plot. In short, the section needs to be expanded.

In conclusion

As you can see, this article needs a lot of work before it can reach GA status, but I think you'll do fine as long as you follow my instructions. I'll give you seven days before I' either Pass or Fail the article. Good luck! Queenieacoustic (talk) 15:59, 6 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well, it's been seven days and there haven't been any attempts at improving the article whatsoever. I'm afraid I'll have to fail the article. Queenieacoustic (talk) 20:35, 13 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]