Talk:Einar Jolin/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: CaroleHenson (talk · contribs) 17:51, 3 September 2014 (UTC)
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1. Well-written: | ||
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | Done - all of the following have been resolved:
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1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. |
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2. Verifiable with no original research: | ||
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | This section is now Done: 1) All content within the body of the article is cited. The notes regarding Gösta Adrian-Nilsson - and the one that starts out about the Swedish word for man could use citations. (The first note has a part without a citation, but the info is embedded in the text of the note). 2) I'm not used to seeing explanatory notes before the citations in the body of the article (e.g., [c][46] where "c" is the note). Ok, per input at Help talk:Footnotes (long, kind of complicated answer - but they looked at the page and said it was good) and Village Pump (it's in the same order of the sections). | |
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | This section is now Done
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2c. it contains no original research. | ||
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | DoneOne question, though, what specifically about Jolin's paintings reflect a naive style (e.g., perception, other)? And/or what does it mean to create Naive Expressionist paintings? | |
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | Does not go into unnecessary detail. | |
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | ||
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | Very good, cooperative effort on this article per article history, talk page and archived talk page. | |
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | Done Yes, commons and wikipedia file information + discussion at #Works of art by Jolin | |
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | Done just one minor tweak in the photo of Jolin and his wife: "Jolins painting" should be Jolin's | |
7. Overall assessment. |
Comments
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The article was previously on hold at the nominator's request and is now ready to be reviewed.--CaroleHenson (talk) 20:18, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
--in progress, just saving for safety.--CaroleHenson (talk) 20:44, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
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Thanks for the reminder CaroleHenson. :) I'll let you know when I have tackled the things. Leade is expanded. You asked for a career highlight, I don't know how he saw it, but if I was an artist, selling a pic to Hammarsköld in the UN, would pretty much be it! Onwards and upwards, w.carter-Talk 03:25, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
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Alterations
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@CaroleHenson:Just to clear out most of the notes here, I have made alterations to the article according to the specific pointers mentioned in the review. This does not mean that I'm finished with cleaning it up, just that the first stage is done. The big difference between this article and the previous review is clear: I wrote JB myself after being more used to the WP, EJ was translated from SweWiki = not "my own" (won't be doing that again...), and my first major article. Comments to match the points in the review:
As to other notes: Aunt is fixed, lead expanded, styles are being capitalized. I think that's it for now. :) Best, w.carter-Talk 14:56, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
@CaroleHenson:Right! I've corrected, tweaked and re-written as much as I can find, so I think it's time for you to step in and see what you make of it. Glad that the pics got sorted out ok. Btw, have you noticed that there is a "Timeline for Einar Jolin's life" at the bottom of the article. I don't know if that is also on review. I just saw one at another article and thought it was fun to try it out here as well. Have a read-through and just tell me what I've missed. :) Cheers, w.carter-Talk 21:12, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
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Better than it may seem
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Thanks!--CaroleHenson (talk) 13:25, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
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Works of art by Jolin
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For the GA Review, section 6a deals with copyright status of images: "images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content" My comments thus far are:
This is not a topic that I'm extremely aware of... I just know that when I've worked on articles I can place one justified fair-use image on an article - but only one and only if there is no copyright free image available. Does anyone have any insight into the images in the two bullets? Thanks!--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:55, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
I posted a request for assistance at Wikipedia:Media copyright questions#Copyright question: 1915 Swedish painting / 1938 "fair use" Swedish painting.--CaroleHenson (talk) 16:39, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
@Masem:@CaroleHenson:I think it's best if we just keep the 1938 pic and I adjust the text accordingly. It has proved stable during many months. By sheer luck it is actually more appropriate than the ones mentioned in the text. As for the 1915 pic. It may be relevant to point out that it is owned by Malmö Museum, a museum that took part in the Category:Google Art Project works in Malmö Konstmuseum. No picture of it was taken during the drive though. w.carter-Talk 17:06, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
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Next...
[edit]Discussion
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Your edits are particularly good and have resulted in a fuller understanding of Jolin and his work. Now, comments are generally minor copy edits or requests for context or clarity.
...stopping for the moment. Again, great job providing insight into who Jolin is. Little touches can make a huge impact, like the way you reworded the sentence about painting mediums to: "He mainly worked in oils and watercolors, using delicate brush strokes and light colors." It's lovely. I can visualize what his finished work might look like and how he worked. That's just one example of the ways in which you've taken what might be considered nitpicky comments and returned brilliant changes. Of the two types of issues, I'm not worried about minor copy edits like wikilinks, punctuation, spelling abbreviations, etc... and going forward I can pick those up (it seems silly because it takes me longer to type about it than fix it and on the whole you're doing a good job there). But if you could read through the rest of the article for any places where the reader might be left hanging, that would be great. For instance, clarifying unexplained phrases that might wiktionary:pique the readers interest, or where the content could be a little clearer. It seems that the remainder of the article does not have areas needing clarification, but a double-check would be good. It seems like there's some minor grammatical and copy edit issues in the reaminder of the article.--CaroleHenson (talk) 03:43, 9 September 2014 (UTC)
@CaroleHenson:Slowing things down a bit sounds like a good plan for both of us. We've done a ton of work with two GA reviews in a very short time, and with me be still being a bit slow to get all the nuances at the WP, getting some air and a fresh perspective is always good. Being inquisitive is not a bad thing at all :) , it's just that some of the finer details of the questions do get lost when you don't see the face or hear the voice of the one you are having the conversation with. Words are always taken far too literary if one is not familiar with each other's tone. (Does that sentence make sense?)
I'll stick to the previous plan and continue to hunt down things to correct, while you do something fun for a while. And if you come across some pics that needs fixing please send them my way. Working with things that does not involve word is relaxing for me. :) See you in a day or so! Best, w.carter-Talk 16:37, 9 September 2014 (UTC)
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English sources and further reading
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Realizing that Jolin had exhibitions in the states, I've checked around for English sources and unlike Bauer, there's quite a number of English sources that should be added... if nothing else, to further reading section. A Google book query for books with preview capability include these books. Input is helpful, but I would think that at least the name number of English books as Swedish books for further reading would be good. There are five Swedish language books in further reading right now.--CaroleHenson (talk) 04:53, 9 September 2014 (UTC)
@CaroleHenson:I added three books to the Further reading section. The rest were just of the "a picture on the wall"-kind or encyclopedias. I looked at the rest of the text, and that little rush of adrenaline I got earlier seemed to have cleared my head since I saw so many more of my mistakes all off a sudden. :) Thanks! I think I'll have to let it go for now. Just tell me what new (or old) things you find on your next read-through. Best, w.carter-Talk 22:56, 9 September 2014 (UTC)
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