Talk:Edwin Thumboo/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

1. Is the article well-written?

(a) The prose is clear and the spelling and grammar are correct.

In some places, the writing seems a bit choppy. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: If you think some rewriting is in order, can you be more specific? — JackLee, 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Mainly the first three paragraphs. The rest of the article looks good, though. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 15:01, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

(b) It complies with the manual of style guidelines.

Section Pass/Fail

Neutral.

2. Is the article Factually accurate and verifiable?

(a) It provides references to all sources of information, and at minimum contains a section dedicated to the attribution of those sources in accordance with the guide to layout.

(b) at minimum, it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons.

I would like some more in-line citations in certain parts. One that jumped out at me was this: "The family was financially comfortable; their home in Mandai was the only one in the neighbourhood with electricity." My other citation problems are marked by {{fact}} templates.ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: The passage "He and his siblings grew up speaking English and Teochew. ... This was said to have fostered determination and self-respect in him." is referenced by footnote 2. It seems unnecessary to also refer to the same footnote at the end of the sentence mentioned in your comment above. — JackLee, 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I just looked more closely at that references and see how it works. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 15:00, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

(c) It contains no original research.

Section Pass/Fail

Pass.

3. Is the article broad in its coverage?

(a) It addresses the main aspects of the topic.

The section on his poetry, ostensibly the main aspect of the topic, is shorter than the education section, though it contains two block quote. It would be good to expand the poetry section. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: My expertise doesn't really lie in literature, and I put all the relevant information I could find into the "Poetry and influence" section. If more is needed, I will need to go and read some offline sources, which will take some time. Is this a deal-breaker? — JackLee, 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It would be nice if it was longer, but not necessary. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 14:58, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

(b) It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style)

One particular instance of drifting is: " The seventh issue of Fajar, which appeared in May 1954 contained an editorial entitled "Aggression in Asia," which advocated independence from the United Kingdom. Three days later, Chinese middle school students clashed with the police."ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: The riot by Chinese middle school students is relevant. I understand from the sources that it was the occurrence of the riot following the publication of the editorial that prompted the authorities to arrest Thumboo and others for sedition, hence the use of "As a result ...". — JackLee, 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I see. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 14:58, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Section Pass/Fail

Neutral, leaning toward Pass. /

4. Is the article neutral?

(a) It represents viewpoints fairly and without bias.

Section Pass/Fail

Pass.

5. Is the article stable?

(a) It does not change significantly from day-to-day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

Section Pass/Fail

Pass.

6. Is the article illustrated

(a) There is at least one image.

(b) Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content.

(c) Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

The first one seems utterly random, though the second one is good. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Hmmm – well, the first image shows where Thumboo spent the greatest part of his career. Have added an image of the Merlion statue. — JackLee, 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

New pic looks good. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 15:05, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Section Pass/Fail

Pass.

Overall Pass/Fail

Pass. .

The article is generally decent, though it needs several improvements, outlined above, for Good Article status. ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 20:48, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking the time to review the article. My comments are indicated above. — Cheers, JackLee ^–talk– 04:18, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Most of my issues have been addressed, so I'm passing the article. Cheers, ErikTheBikeMan (talk) 15:09, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much! — Cheers, JackLee ^–talk– 18:20, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]