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Talk:Early life and career of Joe Biden/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 13:54, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Nominator: Wasted Time R (talk · contribs) at 11:47, 4 July 2021
Co–Nominator: Ganesha811 (talk · contribs)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.



Hi @Wasted Time R and Ganesha811: Thanks for creating and nominating this article. I'll review this per Good article criteria. Expect comments by tomorrow. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 13:54, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Kavyansh.Singh, thanks for reviewing it! I should be available to respond to your comments along Wasted Time R. Ganesha811 (talk) 14:22, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Section-wise comments

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Overall

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  • Overall, the article is well written and well cited.
  • The Earwig's copyvio detector detects over 30% similarity for quite a few websites, but it appears that the website has copied Wikipedia. Still look if you can make any changes.
    • Fixed - took a look through and I don't think any changes need to be made - some quotes from individuals, etc.
  • I'll suggest to add any image as the lead image (just a suggestion)
  • I noticed that the article is inconsistent with the used of definite and indefinite articles. At various ,instances like "entered Syracuse University College of Law", "at St. Mary's Hospital", "attended Syracuse University", etc; definite article (the) is not used. While at other instances, like "the University of Delaware", "the Archmere Academy", etc.; definite article is used. A quick check would definitely be helpful to address this issue.
    • Fixed - in usual usage, some nouns take definite articles and others do not. I've done a check through and made a few modifications where appropriate.

Lead

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  • The lead seems pretty strong, as it accurately summarizes the topic; just a few nitpicks.
  • ".. Biden, an unexceptional student, earned ..." – I don't quite feel that "unexceptional" should be mentioned in the lead (though I agree to it's use in the prose)
    • Fixed - removed.
  • "In 1968, Biden earned a Juris Doctor from Syracuse University College of Law, ranked 76th in his class of 85." → "In 1968, Biden earned a Juris Doctor degree from the Syracuse University College of Law, ranked 76th in his class of 85 students."
    • Fixed - replaced.
  • ".. his second wife, Jill Jacobs - they have ..." – replace the dash with by {{endash}}
    • Fixed - replaced.

Early life and education

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  • Ref#1 – Change the page number from 5 to 4-5. The hospital is mentioned on page no 4
    • Fixed
  • Ref#3 – The url as well as the archived link shows "content is no longer available". I'll suggest adding an older archived link. (this)
    • Fixed
    • I added the archived link.
  • Since you have added link to almost all the newspapers and websites in the citations, add a link to Huffington Post in Ref#5 for consistency
    • Added
  • "Biden's father had led an affluent lifestyle earlier .... prospered during World War II." – Split into two sentences
    • Split.
  • "After the war was over the business failed, however, and several attempts by Biden's father to start his own businesses faltered." → "After the war was over, the business failed, and several attempts by Biden's father to start his own businesses faltered."
    • Replaced.
  • "Biden made several lifelong ..." – Replace "Biden" with "he"
    • Fixed - replaced.
  • Replace "2008-08-31" in Ref#15 with "August 31, 2008" to be consistent with the date style. Check for other instances of the same.
    • Fixed - replaced, found and fixed several other refs.
  • Link The New York Times in Ref#14
    • Linked.

@Wasted Time R and Ganesha811: – Will continue with another sections once these issues are fixed. The list of quibbles look pretty long, just because I have been too nitpicky; but believe me, the article is in a really good shape! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:39, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

These issues should be fixed now - just looking for a good image option so we don't have to reuse one that's already in the article. Thanks for your thorough comments so far. Ganesha811 (talk) 19:15, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Continuing

  • I did some minor copy-edit. The sources seem to verify the information, and I see no further issues.
  • Maybe merge those 2–3 line paragraphs to other paras.
  • Merged.
  • Linked.
  • "not uncommon" – you mean "common"?
  • Comment: - "not uncommon", weirdly, isn't really a synonym for "common". It means that it wasn't unheard of or unusual, but not as frequent as common.
  • I'll suggest to convert the text inside parenthesis ex. "(This incident would attract ....... both schools.)", "(Biden has been defeated in some presidential primary and caucus contests)" to footnotes using {{efn}}.
  • Fixed? I think I did this successfully - haven't done it before.
  • "Biden was admitted to the ... – Replace "Biden" by "He"
  • Fixed.
  • "While still not a major participant in the civil rights movement, in the 1962–63 timeframe Biden did participate in a demonstration against the last remaining segregated theater in Wilmington." → "While still not a major participant in the civil rights movement, in the During the early 1960s, Biden participated in a demonstration against the last remaining segregated theater in Wilmington."
  • Replaced.
  • A quick check of links in citations for consistency would likely solve the issue. We have various citation in Ref#50 to Ref#60's range requiring links to newspapers/websites. Though, not a major issue.

Early political career and family life

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  • Ref#61 has inconsistent date format
  • Fixed.
  • Rest, this section seems really well written, just some links and date formats need to be checked for consistency. I'll also suggest to merge the first and second subsection of this section. Rest, an expansion of the first subsection (First marriage and start of family) would also suffice.
  • Headings changed.

Senate and recovery

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  • The image of Joe and Jilly Biden should be moved to "Recovery and second marriage" section.
  • Moved.
  • Linked.
  • Rest, I see no issues.

Other suggestions

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  • Some images lack ALT text. Consider adding it. (1)
  • Added.

Image review

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  • Agreed, I don't think being put on Instagram abrogates the original copyright. Removed.

Response to suggestions

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Thanks Kavyansh.Singh for the review and thanks especially Ganesha811 for handling all the responses – due to real life matters I've been unavailable for WP efforts lately. Wasted Time R (talk) 00:27, 17 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Wasted Time R, congrats to you, since you wrote most of the article! Ganesha811 (talk) 00:55, 17 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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