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Talk:Dust My Broom/GA1

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:43, 13 March 2014 (UTC) Comments[reply]

  • Lead is too short. A single paragraph of four sentences is not an adequate summary of the whole article.
 Done expanded. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:31, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link "blues standard".
 Done —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Where is 034575 referenced?
 Done 03475 is on the record label image in the infobox. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " It has been suggested that" by whom?
 Done added writer. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • I guess that text like "(Melotone M12812, January 8, 1933)" means "Record label, recording number, recording date", but it's not clear to non-expert readers.
 Done clarified. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:36, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to keep repeating "Robert" with regard to "Robert Johnson" unless that "Johnson" is ambiguous.
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:15, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The last verse shows Johnson's unusual use of geographical references,..." etc is unreferenced, is this your opinion?
 Done added quotes and refs. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:15, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " during his first session on" first session of what?
 Done added "recording". —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "E-B-E-A-C♯-E[12]" would have thought those notes should be separated by {{endash}} rather than hyphen.
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1970, the song was included.." not referenced.
 Done ref added. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:36, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "where by one account he " ->do you mean "where, by one account, he "?
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "late 1962 " normally hyphenated?
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Other recordings by notable artists" you mean by "artists considered notable by Wikipedia"? Would avoid the use of "notable" in section headings. Other recordings is fine, you don't claim to have a comprehensive list of covers, nor should you.
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • As this is referenced by a search results URL, can you guarantee that all versions are actually versions of the original song, not just completely different songs with the same title? Especially as the resulting search comes up with 55,592 results....
Dropped the statement, but left AllMusic as the overall source. Besides individual references, any suggestions for dealing with this? —Ojorojo (talk) 14:58, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why is Grammy Awards in italics in the references?
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 14:58, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Allmusic -> AllMusic.
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Enough from a quick run though, will place the article on hold for a week pending changes per above. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:39, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for picking this up. I don't see any problem addressing your concerns, I'll check them off as I go.—Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Please let me know when you've finished updating, I note several comments still to be addressed. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:58, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Done for now, it's ready for another read through. —Ojorojo (talk) 16:31, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Still Allmusic in the refs.
 Done changed. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Suggest you balance up those columns of artists.
 Done 15+14+14. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "by Leroy Carr[10][7] and Josh White.[11][4]", " (It Just Won't Write)".[20][12][21] "... refs in numerical order please.
 Done now numerical. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • You call the label Vocalion in the info box but Vocalion Records in the prose, be consistent.
According to Template:Infobox single#Parameters-Label: "Drop words like "Records" from the end of the label's name (e.g. use Universal rather than Universal Records)" for infoboxes. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "beat per minute." beats?
 Done corrected. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Where is "Jewel Records also re-released the original Trumpet recording as a single in 1966 (no. 764)." referenced?
 Done ref added. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Check those artists names are precise, e.g. Howlin' Wolf, Ike & Tina Turner etc. Several need correction.
 Done corrected. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Where are all the notes referenced, e.g. " Johnny Temple recorded "Lead Pencil Blues" on May 14, 1935 (Vocalion Records no. 03068).", " "Dust My Broom" became available on a bootleg album of Johnson recordings that supplemented the Columbia album." etc?
 Done Many of these now seem to be unnecessary details; added refs for the main ones, removed the rest. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Still some way to go. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:50, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, promoted. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:42, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your review. —Ojorojo (talk) 13:53, 23 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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