Talk:Dungeons 3/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nomader (talk · contribs) 14:46, 4 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be doing this one, going to be placing initial comments within the next few days. Nomader (talk) 14:46, 4 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Added a few comments, far from being complete at all. Marked with "?" marks for sections that I'm not done reviewing yet. Nomader (talk) 19:35, 4 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar):

b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
?
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
You should add a screenshot of the game to illustrate gameplay here.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

1a comments

Lead

In the lead, "Players" is used to start a sentence twice in a row. Y
"The game features both....." The whole sentence is a bit of a run-on sentence. Open to different ways to write it out. Y
In the last sentence of the lead, "player" should have 'the' in front of it-- I'd suggest using a different word choice there though as it's used a lot in the lead section. Y

Gameplay

Real-time should be piped (so it's not capitalized), as it's not a formal adjective.} Y
I think the order here should be changed-- imagine that the beginning of the Gameplay section should be more of a 'summary' of what the game's about with details about its gameplay further down. As such-- I'd move the "primary task" sentence to the second sentence and I'd move "the game uses an isometric perspective" piece to the end of the paragraph. Y
Should be a comma after 'snots' Y
You use "dungeon heart" at the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next-- I'd scrap "dungeon" from the second instance. Y
In the "toolboxes are used" section, should have a "to" before the word create. Y
Same with the next sentence (should be a "to" before create) Y

Reception

What makes 4Players a reliable source? Didn't see it on WP:VG/RS at all. Take it it's a reputable German gaming website?
The "although the game's humor" sentence uses the word "most critics"-- think you should specify here a little bit better as most is a huge word. Maybe "many" is better? Y

Thanks for your review. I just added this line to separate my response from your comments. I hope you don't mind me adding ticks for comments I have addressed. Also, I made some more changes while I was at it. You are right, I used "player" a lot. Regards So Why 20:11, 4 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I saw it was your article and I couldn't help myself! Figured it'd be fun to do round two. I think that's perfectly fine, I'll be adding a ton of comments this evening and will hopefully complete the first pass tonight (had to go celebrate July 4th over here in the States). Nomader (talk) 02:49, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This is really a well-done article, haven't found many grammar issues at all and the sources for the most part all seem solid to me. I think it'd be worth it to add a screenshot for illustration purposes here, but otherwise my comments above are it. Great work, SoWhy. Nomader (talk) 03:03, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Nomader: Thanks for the review so far, I'll get on the 1a stuff asap. As for screenshot, I was trying to create a good screenshot yesterday but unfortunately, the game's graphics make it pretty hard to create a screenshot where you can distinguish anything at the low resolution NFCC demands, rendering them useless for illustration purposes. I'll try again in the evening, maybe I can find some better scenes to screenshot. Regards So Why 07:19, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I made most of the changes, mostly by rewriting more than just a word. As for the question about 4Players, see its article. It's owned and run by the same company that also publishes PC Games and other German gaming magazines, so I assume it's reliable. See also Talk:SpellForce 3 which you also reviewed btw

Regards So Why 07:45, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Added a screenshot, hopefully it fits. Regards So Why 19:24, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the delay here! Been traveling for work. Oops on 4Players! With the screenshot, I'm good with it-- the caption should be fixed as the grammar isn't great there (the first sentence isn't a sentence, so shouldn't have a period-- I'd say something like "Thalya stands in front of a dungeon entrance." I'm good with the second sentence. I'm on the road right now but when I'm back home, I'll be passing this article-- great work addressing all of my concerns and I'm sure you'll address this last one as well! Nomader (talk) 23:09, 5 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Nomader:

Done. Thanks for taking the time to review it

Regards So Why 07:09, 6 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]