Talk:Dub Jones (American football)/GA1
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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 14:37, 3 August 2013 (UTC)
Just two minor quibbles:
- "Jones rushed for 700 yards and four touchdowns", I have two issues with this sentence. As you can imagine, I'm not very cultured in American football, so could you perhaps clarify what 'rush' means for someone like myself. Secondly, having looked at the source, I believe this is an example of close paraphrasing. Solving the first issue will iron out the second one.
- Indeed - I wikilinked some of the terms and tried to rephrase it to make absolutely clear what it's all about. If it still doesn't make sense, I'll give it another go. --Batard0 (talk) 15:02, 3 August 2013 (UTC)
- "Cleveland went on to win the championship game against the Baltimore Colts", you could insert the year in this sentence to emphasise the championship game is a yearly event.
- Added the year (1964) and made a couple minor tweaks in that paragraph to avoid several repetitions of "the team" in the space of a couple sentences. --Batard0 (talk) 15:02, 3 August 2013 (UTC)
As you can see, not much to be nitpicked. The article comfortably meets the GA criteria. It's well structured, the prose is clear and references are organised correctly. Shall pass once comments have been addressed; on hold until then.
- Thanks much for the review, and I'm happy to make any other adjustments if needed. --Batard0 (talk) 15:02, 3 August 2013 (UTC)
- Changes are fine. Happy to pass now, nice work. Lemonade51 (talk) 21:15, 3 August 2013 (UTC)