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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Peer reviewers: Jiarong Gong.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 19:50, 16 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Photos

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The wikipedia articles of Coney Island's Dreamland and Coney Island's Luna Park have different photos of the same park. Staceygarratt 22:33, 3 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Good catch. Borh photos are Dreamland. -- Cecropia 16:33, 4 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
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GA Review

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It is good! A good article! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:40, 10 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Dreamland (Coney Island, 1904)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 07:21, 5 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I might as well pick up this one too! I should have this fully reviewed by Sunday, August 6, or, Monday, August 7. Stay tuned. Adog (Talk・Cont) 07:21, 5 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following are suggestions for the editor-at-large. If the suggestions for grammar or sentence structure are improper or not appropriate, the editor may disregard:

Prose

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Infobox

Lead

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  • Several buildings, such as the Pompeiian, Electricity, and Submarine Boat buildings, were dedicated to exhibits. The second instance of "buildings" may be omitted.
    • I changed the first use of "buildings" to "structures", as the names of the buildings were literally "Pompeiian Building", "Electricity Building", etc. The second instance of "buildings" is lowercased because that is a common-noun portion of a proper name (in the same way that one may say "Surf and Stillwell avenues"). Epicgenius (talk) 20:57, 7 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Firefighters were unable to control the fire because of low water pressure, and nearly all of the structures were quickly destroyed, although no one was killed; Omit the comma before "and"?
  • The northern portion of the site ... might read better as The site's northern portion ....

Development

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  • The Edison Company was hired to manufacture the park's lights in late 1903 ... I assume they were hired by the Wonderland Company, if not, an individual person related to the project?
  • In August 1903, Reynolds and several other men established the Wonderland Company, which was capitalized at $1.2 million. The Wonderland Company had been created specifically to develop an amusement park on the site. I feel like the creation and purpose of the company could be one sentence while eliminating its capitalization as it may not hold narrative value. Maybe: In August 1903, Reynolds and several other men established the Wonderland Company specifically to develop an amusement park on the site. if capitalization is necessary, maybe add it at the end with a semi-colon ;the company was capitalized at $1.2 million.
  • General contractor Edward Johnson Company employed about 2,000 workers, who were employed in three eight-hour shifts I would attempt to replace the one of the "employed". Maybe something like General contractor Edward Johnson Company hired about 2,000 workers, who were employed into three, eight-hour shifts?

Operation

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1904 to 1907

1908 to 1911

  • In spite of its many amusements, Dreamland struggled to compete with Luna Park, which was better managed runs a bit awkward. Maybe: Despite its many amusements, Dreamland struggled to compete with the more efficiently managed Luna Park.
  • ... George B. McClellan Jr. attempted to prevent the park from staging live shows on Sundays, citing the city's blue laws, although Reynolds strongly opposed the laws second instance of "laws" to "regulations" or simply "them"?
  • Dreamland had previously held a license permitting it to present shows seven days a week, but, when the license was renewed in June 1909, the shows were allowed only six days a week to Dreamland had previously held a license permitting the park to present shows seven days a week, but, when it was renewed in June 1909, the shows were allowed only six days a week?
  • Various rides such as the Great Divide, Canals of Venice, Tub Ride and Hell Gate ... Comma before "and" assuming these are two rides.
  • Omar Sami was also hired as Dreamland's carnival barker for the 1911 season, and Dreamland opened for its eighth season on May 20, 1911 to Dreamland also hired Omar Sami as a carnival barker for the 1911 season, and the park opened for its eighth season on May 20, 1911?

Destruction

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Fire

  • Although parts of Coney Island had been subjected to strict fire-safety regulations following a conflagration in 1902, these regulations did not apply to Dreamland, which as a result was highly susceptible to fire maybe as Despite the implementation of fire-safety regulations in certain areas of Coney Island after a major blaze in 1902, these regulations were not extended to encompass Dreamland. Consequently, Dreamland remained highly vulnerable to fire hazards?

*Winds from the ocean caused the fire to quickly spread throughout the park possibly move the modifier "quickly" to the end of the sentence?

Aftermath

  • Almost everything in the park was destroyed in the fire. to The fire destroyed almost everything in the park?
  • Because the entire complex had been constructed of combustible materials, insurers saw the park as high-risk, and consequently the park can be split into two sentences to read the thought better with some word modifications. Maybe: As the entire complex was constructed from flammable materials, insurers regarded the park as a high-risk venture. Consequently, the park was insured for approximately $400,000.
  • As a result of the fire, 1,600 Dreamland employees lost their jobs; another 900 people had worked ... "had" may be omitted.

Condemnation proceedings

  • Dreamland's site, on Surf Avenue, thereby splitting the park's site into two section "section" to "sections"?
  • The Morey and Lott families claimed in late 1911 that nearly all of Coney Island fell under a quitclaim deed granted by Nicholas Johnson, who had greed to sell ... "greed" to "agreed"?
  • The State Supreme Court was asked ... In the most kind-spirited way, not as the meme, asked by whom?
    • The Assistant Corporation Counsel (for the New York City government), who was mentioned only by his last name (La Motte), asked the State Supreme Court to reduce the award. I will reword this in a bit. Epicgenius (talk) 20:57, 7 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I will get back on the skim in a bit. Good information to process, I have some suggestions above in the mean time, or I will post the full skim throughout the day! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 17:21, 7 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review Adog. I've done some initial edits and will work on the rest later. Epicgenius (talk) 20:57, 7 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Subsequent site usage

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Southern section

Description

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Entrance and lagoon

  • The center of the park contained a lagoon surrounded by a promenade. Originally, Dreamland's operators ... as simply The park's center contained a lagoon surrounded by a promenade. Dreamland's operators ...
  • The following sentence: The lagoon measured 130 feet (40 m) wide and 300 feet (91 m) long and was spanned by a large pedestrian bridge at its southern end maybe as The lagoon measured 130 feet (40 m) wide and 300 feet (91 m) long, featuring a large pedestrian bridge spanning its southern end.

West side

  • Second instance of "contained" in A third structure, next to the Pompeian and Electricity buildings ... could be changed to "included" to avoid repetition with the preceding sentence.
  • Consider splitting this sentence, The lower half of the building was clad in brick, while the upper half of the building had a timber facade and a tiled gable roof into two for readers to highlight the drastic [difference in] materials used on two parts of the building, such as: The lower half of the building was clad in brick. In contrast, the upper half of the building ...
  • In the next sentence, triplets aren't introduced and aren't compatible in comparison with "premature babies". I would consider inserting "[comma] including" before triplets.

Impact

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References

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  • 10, it seems the author is "Adam Sandy" (bottom of the article). The website should be "Ultimate Roller Coaster" instead of "rollercoaster.com".
  • 11, "Brownstoner.com" as "Brownstoner Magazine"?
  • 52, title "Coney Island |American Experience | PBS" to "Coney Island: The Ups And Downs Of America's First Amusement Park", and "www.pbs.org" to "PBS" as publisher.
  • +8, "heartofconeyisland.com" to "Heart of Coney Island"?
  • Consider adding "via Newspapers.com" from those sources on the database? Example: 120-122.

This goes through me once over. I should read the article a little thoroughly in the coming hours and do the spot checks on sources. Of course, a lot of content needs time, and this article delivers! What an interesting story. I am going for a ride. Adog (Talk・Cont) 19:04, 7 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments or concerns

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  • MOS:DUPLINK for "New York City Board of Estimate" in "Condemnation proceedings"; first appearance in "Development".
  • In "1904 to 1907" subsection of "Operation", ... and added a Japanese theater. I would assume it was a Japanese-themed theater. I do not have access to the source for clarity.
  • In "1908 to 1911", a link for wisteria.

I did some more spot-checks this morning. I did find an anomaly worth addressing:

  • In "Fire", the subsection of "Destruction", A lion named Black Prince rushed into the streets, among crowds of onlookers, and was shot by police. does not appear in its source here. This source (in the sentence following) does mention a "Black Prince", but not in the context of this sentence: "Captain Jack Bonovita ... while trying to save Black Prince, his favorite lion, fell unconscious from smoke and was dragged to the street". From the four sources grouped together, their stories mention a leopard and a bear roaming free and shot later in the streets. Source to match? Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:41, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Well written + verifiability

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Like a true student, finishing the review before 11:59 p.m. (except I went a little over time). The article is well written with some minor grammatical sentence structure or MOS case listed above. The article features a variety of reliable sources with proper formatting. There are no original research issues. Earwig does pick up some sources, but likely not much in the way of issues. There is one that is 49.5%, but it references Wikipedia. The next features an image with a caption that was user generated, likely from the Wikipedia page here. I would ask @Epicgenius: to verify some of these commonalities to double-check. Spotchecks are clear for source-to-text integrity and other issues. Besides that very well done! Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The Alamy page allows user-submitted captions, so it's entirely possible (in fact, pretty likely) that they copied a caption from the Wikipedia page and used it without attribution. Epicgenius (talk) 14:35, 10 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Broadness + focus + neutral

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The article is broad in scope, focused on the subject, and provides a neutral tone for the content and presentation. I enjoyed reading the article. It was an experience in and of itself. A lot of things made you stop and think about what they were thinking as an amusement park operator, and even more, what society thought was acceptable entertainment. Did not know human zoos were a thing until now. Probably for the best, it burned. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah... These types of attractions would never be acceptable today, but, at the time, Coney Island attractions were still highly experimental. (For example, there was a looping roller coaster next door where people paid to watch others ride because it was one of the first of its kind, but I digress.) Epicgenius (talk) 14:35, 10 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Stability + images

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Bruxton (talk) 14:38, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

(
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Dreamland at Coney Island
Dreamland at Coney Island

Improved to Good Article status by Epicgenius (talk). Self-nominated at 15:19, 14 August 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Dreamland (Coney Island, 1904); consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation

Image eligibility:

QPQ: No - Waiting
Overall: Should be good to go with the QPQ. My preference is for the ALT0 or ALT1 hooks to run, as both are interesting and attention-grabbing while the others are weaker. SounderBruce 05:23, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@SounderBruce: Thanks for the review. I have done a QPQ now. As for the image, unfortunately most of the images on Commons are either low-quality, black-and-white, or watermarked, but would File:Dreamland Park at Coney Island, c. 1905.jpg work? Epicgenius (talk) 13:50, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Ready to go now. The new image (from 1905) is much better and would work for my preference (ALT0). SounderBruce 03:18, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]


Sentence should be clarified

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Early editions of The New York Times claimed the incubator babies had perished in the flames,[108] but the infants were all saved,[111] and the Times subsequently corrected itself.[114]

As it is written it is unclear, atleast to me, how exactly the Times corrected itself (were some incubator babies saved? Or did some infants die?) I believe the sentence should be edited to clarify this ThatApollo777 (talk) 15:39, 30 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The very next line does mention saving of incubator babies but I still feel that sentence would benefit from a rewrite
It's in Destruction -> Fire -> paragraph 3 ThatApollo777 (talk) 15:42, 30 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
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