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Talk:Dr. Wagner Jr./GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 21:42, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Right, I know nothing about wrestling, so please bear with me.

Lead
  • "under the ring name El Hijo de Dr. Wagner Jr.." Remove the second full-stop.
  • "..introduced to Lucha Underground at the.." Based on the title of the article, "Lucha Underground" should be italicised.
  • "..been the Inaugural AAA Latin American Champion.." "Inaugural" does not need to be capitalised.
    • Done
Personal life
  • "..with his older brother Oscar being two years his elder." No need for repetition or "older" and "elder", ".. with his brother Oscar being two years his elder." would work fine.
  • "..had at least one son. known as El Hijo de Dr. Wagner Jr." Rogue full-stop in the middle of the sentence.
    • Done
Professional wrestling career
  • In the first paragraph, you use "El Invasor" three times; twice with speech-marks, and once without. Be consistent.
  • "..allowed Gonzálezto gain.." Space needed.
  • "..reveal his family relationshp." Typo.
  • "..to make his in ring debut as.." Add a hyphen; "in-ring" to improve readability.
  • "..to take on his fathers former tag team.." Missing apostrophe; "father's".
  • "While driving to the show the car carrying his father, .." Missing comma; "..the car, carrying.."
  • "..until February 25, 1991, where he lost it to Enrique Vega." Should be "when", not "where".
  • "..popularity began to dwindle as less and less fans attended their shows." Tautological; either say it dwindled, or that less fans attended, not both.
  • "..with teams representing the UWA completed against CMLL in teams." Ummm. Too many problems here. I think you mean to say something like "..with teams from the UWA and CMLL competing against each other."
  • "..adopting the name of his father's tag team." Do you mean adopting, or adapting. The latter seems more suitable.
  • "..defeated Los Brazos (El Brazo, Brazo de Oro and Brazo de Plata." Close the bracket.
  • "..work for the US based World Championship Wrestling." Probably worth putting (WCW) after this, as that is what a lot of people will know it by.
  • "..Dr. Wagner Jr. defeated long time rival El Canek.." I'm a bit confused here. It says El Canek is a "long time rival", but the last we heard of him, they were tag team partners?
  • "..decided to turn El Canek rudo, allowing for the rivalry to continue." What does "rudo" mean?
  • Similarly, what does "career-tecnico" mean?
  • "..resulting in a series of very violent, out of control matches between the two." Genuinely out of control, or just scripted and acted as out of control?
  • "Following two successful defenses against El Mesias Dr. Wagner Jr. .." Add a comma between El Mesias and Dr. Wagner Jr.
  • "..their late father sayint that.." Typo.
  • "..and a low blow from Jeff." Change "Jeff" to "Jarrett" per the MOS.
  • "..two of AAA's top technicos.." Is this the same as the afore-mentioned "tecnico"?
  • "..in a Mask vs. Mask match.." Why refer to it like this now, when before you've used "Lucha de Apuestas"?
  • Be consistent in whether Triplemanía is italicised or not.
  • "..after Psycho Clown's long time tag team partners. Monster Clown and Murder Clown, turned on him and helped Dr. Wagner Jr. win the match." It looks like it should be a comma between "partners" and "Monster"?
  • "At Ultima Lucha Tres , .." Remove rogue space.

Overall a decent piece of work that just suffers from some typos and jargon, well done. Harrias talk 21:42, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I have done a lot of things except... began to dwindle as less and less fans attended their shows (I don't understand, sorry) / adopting (I usually see adopting the ring name insetad adapting) / El Canek (I don't know the history between them) / Violent, out of control (I don't know if it's genuinely or scripted) / Mark vs Mask (Mask vs Mask is a Lucha de apuestas. That meas both masks are on the line. You can also put on the line a title or hair) --HHH Pedrigree (talk) 12:37, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for stepping in HHH Pedrigree (talk · contribs); I'm now happy to pass this article. Nice work. Harrias talk 13:08, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]