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GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Dots and Dashes/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:59, 13 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Continuing my sweep, one by one JAGUAR  20:59, 13 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

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  • "May Wilson is a telegraph operator and Jack Wilson is..." - The story part of the lead opens with no introduction. It should typically be rephrased to something like The plot centers around telegraph operator Mary Wilson and head bookkeeper Jack Wilson or something similar? It's just that it jumps straight into the plot without an introduction
  • "At the end of the day is called to into the office" - who is called into the office?
  • "While he leans into the safe, Bill pushes him inside and locks the safe before fleeing" - who is Bill? There is no introduction for him in the lead
  • Plot section itself is fine, seeing as it's all a quote
  • "The credits for Jack Preston" - Preston? His surname is "Wilson" in the lead. Which is which?
  • "The actual Morse code being tapped out did not match what was actually being said according to Walton of The Moving Picture News" - this sounds retrospective, should it be in the reception section instead of production?

References

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  • No dead links

On hold

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@ChrisGualtieri: Unbelievably, I am putting this one on hold! There are a few errors that jumped out at me during the review so I had to put it on hold. I am pinging you here because I know I have been sweeping through a lot of these films and I didn't want this to be lost in the flurry of notifications. Once they have all been cleared up then this should be good to go. JAGUAR  21:32, 13 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I am sadly closing this, it's almost been one month and the article has not been edited since then. I'm also aware that you're away for the moment, so please feel free to re-nominate when you're back as I'll be happy to review it again. JAGUAR  21:45, 7 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]