Talk:Dorchester Heights Monument/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 10:30, 9 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I will review, comments to follow over next few days. Zawed (talk) 10:30, 9 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

architectural firm of Peabody and Stearns It looks like, although the article is titled Peabody and Stearns, the name is actually Peabody & Stearns.
- Changed the "and" to an ampersand.

Background

During the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War, American troops attempted a months-long siege During doesn't quite fit. Suggest "On the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War, American troops commenced a lengthy siege of Boston"
- Changed.
assembled a redoubt you may have phrased it this way to avoid hewing too close to the source, but I think built would be a better term. A redoubt is a fort-type structure so assembled is an unusual way of phrasing it.
- Changed "assembled" to "constructed"
Peabody and Stearns ditto my comment from the lead. The same usage is also in the infobox.
- Changed both occurences.

Dedication

There are a few individuals, Warren, Rice and Lodge, mentioned but without context.
- Added context on these individuals.

Design

four-sided shaft rising 60 feet it may be just be me, but I think of a shaft as being sunk into the ground, e.g. a mine. Perhaps column?
- Changed.
the phrase "this shaft" is repeatedly used in successive sentences.
- Changed.
Suggest adding mention of the other ACW monuments here, then you won't need the cite that is in the lead.
- Moved.

Other stuff

The "See also" seems too broad a subject. Is there an article listing ACW monuments in Boston or Massachusetts, that would be more relevant.
- Unfortunately not that I know of, but I'll go ahead and removed the 1902 in art page.
No dupe links
Image tags check out, although I still suspect some sort of PD tag should be present to cover the subject of the photo.

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 10:51, 11 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

JJonahJackalope, just a ping as I'm not sure if you have seen this. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:33, 14 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Zawed, thanks for starting this review. I went ahead and made changes to address your comments here and think it should be good to go. If there are any further issues or changes I should make, please let me know. -JJonahJackalope (talk) 15:53, 15 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Your changes are fine. I am passing this as GA as I consider it to meet the appropriate criteria. Great work! Zawed (talk) 09:15, 16 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]