Talk:Don't Cry for Me Argentina/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 17:04, 15 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

, by checking out → Too informal
however intensity which Rice looked for in the track was not immediately achieved during recording, because of the lyrical content and the song being a sentimental ballad composition. → So intensity wasn't achieve through being a sentimental ballad? Isn't it easier to achieve that in a ballad than an uptempo song?
on 12 November 1976, in the United Kingdom, accompanied by national and trade advertising, full-color → You've used British date formatting but American English for color (colour)
on US dance charts. → Specify which
number of nations, including the Billboard Hot 100, → Hot 100 isn't a nation
developing the Evita → Remove 'the'
Link broadway
It's tune is → Melody? Composition?
- Comment from Richard3120: Melody would be my choice of word here. Richard3120 (talk) 15:44, 19 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
musical, "Oh What a Circus" and → Don't you need a comma before 'and' too?
full-color posters, → Same for colour here
Finally on the wee → Reads bias
It was officially released as the soundtrack's second single → You've just spoken about the remix, but I take it that the remix wasn't the single?
I think to switch to American date formatting is confusing. As such, this is a British article, so the dates should remain as British format throughout, and not be changed to American because Madonna is.
and that "'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' stank then, stinks now". → The " and ' before Don't needs the template {{' "}} to separate them
Hot Dance Club Songs → Dance Club Songs (for prose, table and refs)
Ref 63 has a double "" in the title

On hold. — Calvin999 11:30, 19 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments from Richard3120:

I'm British, and when referring to Andrew Lloyd Webber just by his surname we nearly always say "Lloyd Webber" rather than just "Webber". Lloyd Webber's Wikipedia article uses this convention, so I wonder what name is used in most of the sources, like Tim Rice's book, for example – does he call his writing partner "Webber", "Lloyd Webber" or "Andrew"?

"Webber and Rice were at a dearth of finding a suitable musical actress..." – normally you face a dearth, but I think here it would be simpler just to say "Webber and Rice were struggling to find a suitable musical actress..."

I don't like the line "Covington was extremely intrigued behind the idea of the musical, thinking Eva Perón as a noncommercial idea for a musical" – you can't be "intrigued behind". I think this would read better as "Covington was extremely intrigued by the idea, considering Eva Perón to be a noncommercial idea for a musical" – you don't really want to repeat the phrase "idea for a musical" twice in the same sentence. Richard3120 (talk) 15:44, 19 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Calvin999 all done. And thanks for the wonderful pointers Richard. —Indian:BIO ^{[ ChitChat ]} 09:37, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No problem – I was a bit worried about butting in because I know the GA review is supposed to be between the proposer and the reviewer, but those two sentences really didn't scan well to me and I thought I should mention them. If I find something confirming the release date and the radio play, as we talked about before, I'll add it in. Richard3120 (talk) 15:14, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Well done. Passing. — Calvin999 16:31, 24 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]