Talk:Domestic violence in South Africa

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I plan on expanding this page as part of an assignment for an Econ college class at the University of Utah. My focus of what I will be writing will be on the gender difference within the country and the inequality that still exists. While looking at the power that men tend to have over women, I will also look at what services are available to these women within abusive relationship and what the government is doing. Im wondering if anyone out there will be able to give me any general advice on writing this page. I wanted to create a section on Human Rights in the are and around the world; my teacher suggested that this would be better as part of the main content. As I have never written an article on Wiki before, Im wondering what is better. The amount of policies I was able to find were limited as well. I was going to include as many as I could without becoming to redundant. Im wondering if its better to include these policies or just leave them out all together. Thank you for any help anyone is able to offer.

Tkd9422 (talk) 20:00, 24 March 2014 (UTC)Tkd9422

Feedback

In the intro paragraph, definition of domestic violence “entering into the compliments residence”, should that be “complainants residence”? Under “Background”, the sentence “The problem of domestic violence will continue until society stops turning a blind eye onto what is happening in an individuals home” seems non-neutral, unless this is from one of your sources, but it doesn’t seem to be. Under “Rape” you say “73 percent of those men had been raped before the age of 20” but I think you men 73 percent committed their first rape before age 20, not that they were raped. The last paragraph under “Legal Actions in South Africa” it says “not all providences are required to hold criminal courts”. Should that be provinces? Under “Charlize Theron”, calling her father a “drunk” should probably “alcoholic”. Mlittlefield (talk) 14:22, 19 April 2014 (UTC)

More of the sentences should be linked to references. The reference/citations need to be fixed. The citations need to be complete citations versus just the URLs. I have created more linked terms to draw more attention to the page. Swaugaman (talk) 08:13, 22 April 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for pointing out the references, I hadn't even noticed that I had been skipping that step. I went back and created the full citations. I found more information that could be related back to references too. Tkd9422 (talk)Tkd9422

More feedback

The article has improved over the earlier versions. There are some wording edits (of the kind pointed above) that you need to take care of. Each survey or statistic sentence needs a year to be added. Also "once" (in "South Africa was once considered the rape capital of the world") needs a year. What year was this? Remove the text in red, clearly there is no Wikipedia article on each of those terms (except when you have a typo "Pistoris"--lights up as red because of the typo). BTW, there is a "intimate partner violence" article that you can link to. Add citations to the first sentence of all paragraphs; these statements should be supported by research. Also, in the Domestic Violence section, you should start with a sentence on what it is, rather than what it is not. Since this article is on South Africa, you should locate a legal definition that is specific to South Africa, rather than a generic one. I suggest you move the quote from the lead section to this section or delete the Domestic Violence section. Also, the scholarly articles that you draw upon are still rather limited. Given South Africa's Apartheid history, it seems important to incorporate any studies/articles that examine the racial dimensions and/or class dimensions of domestic violence. At the moment, the article is race- and class-blind; that is, it shows no awareness of whether race or class matters in domestic violence (to be considered in terms of its Causes, Extent, Consequences, and Policies). Other issues: "Based on this definition, it is important to remember all factors when researching the topic of domestic violence." from the lead paragraphs, is not clear. I suggest deleting it. Advocacy section does not have much information on advocacy. Are there women's organizations? Do they run shelters? Also, in Policies section: Are there safe houses/shelters in South Africa? Also, Steenkamp was murdered in 2013, not 2014. I would remove Pistorius case from the opening paragraph.BerikG (talk) 07:26, 27 April 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for feedback. Im still getting to the word editing and will add that year to the different statistics. I removed the red text as well while trying to find some more things to link in blue. It is surprisingly difficult to find statistics that link to race and I was only able to find one that had statistics that related to class, mostly through education levels. I was thinking that I could put a heading so others could expand on the topic at a latter time if others found information. I added a citation at the beginning of every paragraph to draw more attention to them. I expanded to the advocacy section as well. I'm slowly going through your suggestions to add to my article. Thanks Tkd9422 (talk)Tkd9422

Wikipedia Primary School invitation

Hi everybody. On behalf of the teams behind the Wikipedia Primary School research project, I would like to announce that this article was selected a while ago to be reviewed by an external expert. We'd now like to ask interested editors to join our efforts and improve the article before March 31, 2015 (any timezone) as they see fit; a revision will be then sent to the designated expert for review. Any notes and remarks written by the external expert will be made available on this page under a CC-BY-SA license as soon as possible, so that you can read them, discuss them and then decide if and how to use them. Please sign up here to let us know you're collaborating. Thanks a lot for your support! Elitre (WPS) (talk) 14:27, 18 March 2015 (UTC)

Hi User:Tkd9422, User:Mlittlefield, User:Swaugaman, User:BerikG - this is a friendly ping to people who worked on the article to make sure they see my invitation above. Thank you! --Elitre (WPS) (talk) 12:31, 22 March 2015 (UTC)

Hi. Due to the unavailability of the first reviewer, we have been looking for a new expert. A revision of this article has been sent to another designated expert. Anthere (talk) 11:42, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi all. As anticipated, some weeks ago Dr. Rasool agreed to review this article within the scope of the project linked above. You can find her notes in this pdf as well as in that PDF I just uploaded to Commons. We'd like to thank Dr. Rasool for her work and for her helpful notes. We invite everybody to feel free to reuse the review to improve the article and/or to comment it here. Best, Anthere Anthere (talk) 18:48, 14 December 2015 (UTC)

Review and Feedback

Hi, I'm a student at Rice University, and I'm contributing to Wikipedia as part of a Poverty, Justice, and Human Capabilities class. It's clear that this article made a lot of progress in years past, but that seems to have stalled recently. It definitely appears to be an important topic, and I would love to see some aspects of it improved. The structure is clear and easy to see from the start. That being said, I think the existing focus of the article is not necessarily on the most relevant topics. For instance, the section on public policy could definitely use some elaboration as well as update. The inclusion of Oscar Pistorius and Charlize Theron seems to be moderately irrelevant to the topic. Although those are both cases of domestic violence in South Africa, they do not add anything to the overall discussion of systemic domestic violence in the country. I am not necessarily arguing for their removal; I would just like to see the rest of the article be raised to a level of detailed that then warranted the inclusion of those specific cases. --Dnelson 14 (talk) 05:24, 14 September 2017 (UTC)