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Talk:Divya Bharti/GA3

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 10:09, 6 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Happy to review this article.

Assessment

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Summary

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:


Links
  • The following links are duplicated within the article – they are only needed once (see MOS:DUPLINK for more information) – Telugu; Andhra Pradesh; Bollywood; Hindi; Deewana; Govinda; Mohan Babu; Sunny Deol; Raveena Tandon; Juhi Chawla; Shola Aur Shabnam.
    •  Fixed
Lead section
  • Link 'Telugu cinema', not just Telugu. It should be linked once in the lead section.
 Done
Not done
Linked in lead
Early life and family
  • ... Bombay (present-day Mumbai)… - imo this needs to be amended to to ‘...Mumbai (known at the time as Bombay)…’.
 Done
  • Unlink English (familiar word, see MOS:OL).
 Done
  • I would briefly explain what 9th standard means to help readers unfamiliar with the term.
Sure mate
Not done
Let me know if adding a footnote will work. I have added one.
Yes, that's OK. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:40, 16 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Career
  • ...but her role was cancelled. - did she lose the role, or was the role removed from the film?
She was replaced by another actress.
You need to say this in the article. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:38, 11 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • Who is Kirti Kumar?
Actor Govinda's brother  Done
  • Link Kirti Kumar.
Kirti Kumar is not so significant. There won't be an article on his name. Let me know if linking is mandatory.
  • Who is Dilip Shankar?
Director  Done
Not done.
Mentioned director Dilip Shankar
  • ...offered her Bobbili Raja... - consider amending to ‘...offered her a leading role in the film Bobbili Raja…’.
 Done
  • That same year… - I would amend this to ‘Later in the year…’ or something similar.
 Done
  • ...she figured next to Vijayshanti. - needs to be amended to improve the prose.
 Done Let me know if it require more attention
I would amend ...Bharti figured next to... to '...Bharti ranked just below...'.
  • The film was an average grosser… - I would amend this, avoiding the word grosser.
 Done Added new sentence
  • The image Divya Bharti.jpg is not allowed and needs to be removed, as the infobox image is sufficient. See WP:NFCCP for guidance.
 Done
  • ...was appreciated. - by whom?
 Done Changed the sentence
  • The ensemble film Kshatriya, in which she co-starred alongside Sunny Deol, Sanjay Dutt and Raveena Tandon, was the last film to be released during Bharti's lifetime on 26 March 1993. - I would improve the prose by amending the sentence to ‘In the last film to be released during her lifetime, the ensemble film Kshatriya, she co-starred alongside Sunny Deol, Sanjay Dutt and Raveena Tandon. It was released on 26 March 1993.’.
 Done
  • Bharti's death on 5 April 1993 left several films incomplete. - This sentence is not needed, as the information is repeated in the rest of the paragraph.
Please suggest an alternate sentence as it is necessary so that readers would understand.
Done, see paragraph. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:49, 11 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you
  • ...(Raveena Tandon)… - I would amend this to ‘...(played by Raveena Tandon)’. Ditto for Juhi Chawla, Tabu, Raveena Tandon, and Mamta Kulkarni.
 Done
  • ...several months later… - is too vague. Are the release dates known?
 Done Added release dates
  • Citation(s) needed for the last paragraph (from “Shortly before her death…” to “...released in October 1993.”
 Done
  • ...including Mohra (played by Raveena Tandon), Kartavya (played by Juhi Chawla), Vijaypath (played by Tabu), Dilwale (played by Raveena Tandon), and Andolan (played by Mamta Kulkarni) – needs a reference.
Added. Let me see if reference is fine
  • Bharti remarks on Dil Ka Kya Kasoor failure – needs copy editing to something like ‘Bharti’s remarks after the failure of Dil Ka Kya Kasoor.
 Done
  • She had several Hindi releases that year, among them action drama Jaan Se Pyaara, which featured Bharti alongside Govinda once again, romantic drama Geet opposite Avinash Wadhawan, action Dushman Zamana alongside Armaan Kohli, and action drama Balwaan, which marked the debut of Sunil Shetty. - not all of this text seems to be verified by Ref 28 (Entertainment Times).
 Fixed Added a reference mentions all releases.
Personal life
  • ...through Govinda… - this needs to be explained more clearly.
Added, while working on the set of Shola Aur Shabnam. Let me know if this is fine.
Yes, that's better. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:27, 11 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...and they married on 10 May 1992.[36] Bharti and Nadiadwala were married in a private ceremony, with the presence… - could be amended to ‘...and they married at a private ceremony on 10 May 1992,[36] in the presence...’ or something similar, to improve the prose.
 Done
  • ... after her marriage and changed her name… - ‘...after her marriage, changing her name…’ sounds better.
 Done
  • ...due to family problems… - can this phrase be made more specific?
 Done Added a new sentence. Not sure who added family problems.
Death
  • The cause of death was… - amend to ‘The official cause of her death was due to…'.
 Done
  • ...crematorium, Mumbai. - ‘...crematorium in Mumbai.’.
 Done
  • ...some say she was drunk which caused her to fall. - sounds better written as ‘some say she fell because she was drunk at the time.’.
 Done
  • ... by Mumbai police with the conclusion… - ‘ by the Mumbai police, who concluded…’.
 Done
References
  • Ref 1 (Mishra) is not needed in the infobox, as the same information is cited in Early Life and family.
    •  Done
  • Ref 2 (Khushwaha) is also not needed, as the same information is cited in Death.
    •  Done
  • That she was paid so highly needs to be put in the main article, as well as the lead section, along with the citation.
    • Added in lead. Where exactly I shall put it in main?
The sentence starting "Regarded as the most popular..." could be used.. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:52, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Still Not getting. At what section of the article I shall include it?
Done (put in Legacy). Amitchell125 (talk) 19:04, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you
  • Ref 4 (PINKVILLA) does not verify the text, and is not needed here.
    •  Done Removed
  • Ref 5 (Daily News and Analysis) does not verify the text next to it. The information about her winning the Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut needs to be in the main article (not just in the lead section and the template at the end). There’s no need for a citation in the lead section, as the information is not controversial.
    •  Done
  • Ref 6 (Rediff) is not needed in the lead section (as the information is not conversational)
    •  Done
Not done. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:19, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Removed. Apologies Didn't check last sentence of lead
  • Ref 8 (BollySpice) doesn’t mention her brother and half-sister.
    •  Fixed
  • ...her second cousin. - Ref 9 (Press Trust Of India) mentions that they were cousins, not second cousins.
    •  Done
  • Refs 10 and 11 appear to be the same.
    • Ref 10 is from Free Press Journal and 11 from The Quint.
Apologies for not being clearer here. When I click the links to these references, I come up with exactly the same text. You don't need to have difference sources for this text. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:18, 14 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • Bharti spoke Hindi, English and Marathi fluently. In her early years, she was known for her bubbly personality and doll-like looks. is not verified by Ref 11 (Free Press Journal).
  • Have added a news reference. Let me know if it's reliable.
not done. For doll-like I would use - https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/bollywood/photo-features/bollywood-mysteries-that-remain-unsolved-even-today/photostory/38140568.cms; for bubbly there's - https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/telugu/movies/news/divya-bhartis-46th-birth-anniversary-popular-telugu-films-of-the-bubbly-actress-who-died-tragically-young/photostory/74284623.cms. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:56, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • The source for Ref 13 (Yashpal; Anand) appears to be a translation of a novel. Is a page number available for this reference?
    • Replaced. It seemed to be a sample of the book.
  • The source for Ref 15 (Bharti) seems to be a book about a Buddhist master. Is this the right source – and (if it is), can you provide the page for the citation?
    • Cannot find it. Does the source still there?
☒N Hi 25 Cents FC, it's now Ref 12 ( Death Comes Dancing: Celebrating Life With Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) Amitchell125 (talk) 18:46, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Removed. I couldn't find page number. It feel like it was a sample of a book.
  • Bharti had back-to-back hits… - it doesn’t say in Ref 17 (Entertainment Times) that Assembly Rowdy was a hit.
    • Removed
  • Ref 25 (Daily Bhaskar) doesn’t have any information about films.
    • Replaced with new reference
  • Ref 26 (Rediff) doesn’t verify the text in the article.
    • Replaced
  • Ref 27 (The Asian Age) not found.
    • Replaced. I've no idea who added such reference
  • Ref 29 (Amarujala) doesn’t appear to verify the text.
    • Replaced. Link isn't working
  • Ref 34 (The Times of India) is not needed, and provides very little information.
    • Replaced. Added better source
  • Ref 38 (The Quint) is not needed - there’s already a perfectly good citation here.
    • Removed
  • In the late evening hours of 5 April 1993, Bharti fell... - you don’t need 5 references here (I would include two at the most).
    • Agree. Removed
  • Ref 42 (The Times of India) doesn't work.
    • Removed
  • The reason of her fatal fall was never established... - you don’t need 4 references here.
  • Refs 47 and 48 are not available in Europe (and maybe elsewhere).
    •  Done Removed. Two reference is sufficient
  • Ref 50 (India today, now Ref 45) - a subscription is needed for this particular article, so I would (subscription required) after the reference.
    •  Done Changed reference

On hold

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Hello 25 Cents FC, I have put the article on hold for a week until 18 September to allow time for the remaining issues to be addressed. Good work so far! Amitchell125 (talk) 09:45, 10 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Three points outstanding (marked in red). Nearly there! Amitchell125 (talk) 19:18, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Passing

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Passing now, I'll check do a quick through in case I have missed minor things like punctuation, but the article is now GA. Congratulations! Amitchell125 (talk) 16:36, 16 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I will give my best to resolve all issues raised in future.--25 CENTS VICTORIOUS ☣✅ 17:02, 16 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]