Talk:Disappearance of Bruno Borges/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:39, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Per MOS:SEAOFBLUE, don't split "Rio Branco, Acre" into two wikilinks
"got wide coverage" → "received wide coverage"
"he corrected" → "he began working on corrections for"
No comma after "Borges told police chief Alcino Júnior"
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"project but she refused because he did not reveal what this project was about" → "project, but she refused when he failed to elaborate on the details of said project."
"Eduardo Veloso, however,"
and, guided by a doctor, his mother allowed it a little confusing
- Changed to "Borges asked his mother to spend a year without working and, guided by a doctor, she allowed it".
"from where" → "from which"
Space after period in the last paragraph that needs removed
"2:29 pm" → "2:29 p.m." or "14:29" per MOS:TIME
"2 pm" → "2:00 p.m." or "14:00" per MOS:TIME
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Missing period in the sentence about Giordano Bruno
Link "Inquisition" to Roman Inquisition
Comma after "in a visible place" but then the next word is capitalized as if it is a new sentence
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Space needed after the citation following "June 7"
- Done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Use an en dash rather than hyphen for TAC
Comma after "buying the encrypted content"
Switch "The introduction" and "Pre-sales" for a logical chronological flow
Expand on the negative reviews; what was criticized?
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"the publication of a video of his bedroom that was recorded without the family's permission." → "a video of his bedroom, recorded without the family's permission, was released online."
"video games for mobile phones" → "mobile phone games"
"who works in the area of encryption" → "working in the area of encryption"
WL encryption
Swap the sentences beginning "One person" and "The pair", since "the pair" I assume refers to the people from Goias
- "One person" means one person of the pair. Changed to "One of them, working in the area of encryption, became interested in the subject and broke the code in 30 minutes."
Use an en dash for the Facebook group rather than a hyphen
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Per MOS:SURNAME, "Bruno" should always be replaced by "Borges"
"Five months after his disappearance, Bruno Borges returned to his home on August 11." → "On August 11, five months after his disappearance, Bruno Borges returned to his home."
"05:22" is in military time while everything else is in AM/PM, per MOS:TIME should be standard throughout article
"Despite pressing the doorbell, he was not answered and had" → "His doorbell ringing went unanswered, and Borges had
"On the same day" → "that same day"
"and made "Acre" to be in the Brazilian trending topics on Twitter" → "and the term "Acre" became a trending topic on Brazilian Twitter"
"on her Facebook that"
"increased from 51 kg"
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"book been mooted" incorrect syntax
"said the following day that, in addition"
"According to Borges' mother" → "Borges's mother denied the accusations, saying,"
- All done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Per MOS:'S, all instances of "Borges'" that are possessive singular should actually be "Borges's"
- Done. Skyshifter ^talk 19:08, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
No images used in article, therefore images can't be assessed
No stability concerns in revision history
No obvious copyright violations

Apologies for the delay; my holiday was quite busy. Putting on hold now. — Ghost River 18:52, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Skyshifter I have a few additional comments now that I am looking at this article again:

In the lede, per MOS:QUOTEPOV, "project" should not be in quotes
As a direct quote, "to encourage people to acquire knowledge" should have a citation after it even in the lede
"which had received negative reviews
"which Borges and his mother said was not the case" → "which Borges and his mother denied"
Accusations Borges's disappearance was a publicity stunt to promote his book has been mooted Still confusing, suggest "Since the discovery of the contracts on May 31, Borges has faced accusations of using his disappearance as a publicity stunt to promote his books."
Still some issues throughout with "Borges'" → "Borges's" and "Bruno" → "Borges"

Looks good to go now, thank you for your patience. — Ghost River 15:17, 10 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]