Talk:Dion Phaneuf/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Help review good articles} 03:13, 1 January 2010 (UTC) Overall this article is good, though there are a few things that need fixing:

• WP:PERSONDATA should be added.

• added

• The lead needs to be expanded, should be ideally two good paragraphs.

• done (Should have done that before, oops)

• "His father built a backyard rink every winter that the young Phaneuf practiced on," Does this mean it was built then used each year, or did he build up a new rink every year? Sounds like the latter though I presume it's false; reword.

• It's true, actually, and relatively common. though, "built" generally just means flooding the back yard and making an ice surface. I've reworded.

• "Phaneuf joined the Flames for the 2005–06 NHL season after signing his first professional contract in September 2006." This would mean he signed the contract after the season ended. Was Sept. 05 intended?

• Yup, fixed mistake.

• Make sure the style of English is consistent. Mostly British English is used but there's a bit of American English in a couple spots (as he's a Canadian you would want the former; for example I saw criticized instead of criticised).

• Canadian English utilizes a mixture of both. In simplest terms, we use the American -ize rather than -ise, but the British -our instead of -or.

• "Once considered a virtual lock to join team Canada at the 2010 Winter Olympics, Phaneuf's struggles in the 2008–09 NHL season placed his candidacy in doubt. National team General Manager Steve Yzerman continued to express confidence in Phaneuf during a summer camp held in Calgary." If I recall right, they've given the lineups to the 2010 Olympic squad now, so this can be updated in one way or another.

• Indeed, updated.

I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when everything's fixed. You've got a week to do it. Wizardman _{Help review good articles} 03:13, 1 January 2010 (UTC)

Pffft, who needs a week? ;o) All done, and thanks for the review! Resolute 18:12, 1 January 2010 (UTC)

Looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman _{Help review good articles} 18:51, 1 January 2010 (UTC)

Appreciated. thanks! Resolute 19:08, 1 January 2010 (UTC)