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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:57, 3 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Hi there! I'm Cartoon network freak and I'm going to review this article against the GA criteria during the upcoming next two weeks. Cheers! Cartoon network freak (talk) 3 November 2015, 9:57 (UTC)

Lead

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Section status:

Resolved comments
*Sister your brother-in-law is crazy → What on earth does that mean?
Changed it to "Sister, your brother-in-law is crazy". (Added comma.) It actually the translation of the title; Didi=Sister, Tera=your, Devar=brother-in-law, Deewana=Crazy. I don't fancy such literal translations of non-English sentences, but it has been used such in various books check this. I can remove it if you still feel it should go.
No, you needn't. It looks better now. Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:04, 12 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was composed by Raamlaxman, and lyrics were penned by Dev Kohli. → The track was composed by Raamlaxman, while lyrics were written by Dev Kohli.
Done.
  • The writing and producing credits need citation. (You may create the section "Credits and personnel", where you may use album/DVD liner notes.)
  • Dev Kohli → unlink it, as there is no article about him yet.
Should I unlink it despite of Wikipedia:Red link?
If you want to create an article about him soon, no. Otherway, yes. Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:04, 12 November 2015 (UTC) [reply]
Done. (Unlinked for now. Can't seem to be able to make a decent article just yet. Will work on it later on.)
  • The film was written and directed by Sooraj R. Barjatya and produced under → The film was written and directed by Sooraj R. Barjatya, while production was handled
Actually Sooraj Barjatya is quite involved in Rajshri Productions, its their family business types. Hence I preferred using "and" instead of "while". While gives a feel that they both are independent.
OK! Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:04, 12 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Along with ensemble cast, the song shows the film's leads Madhuri Dixit and Salman Khan dancing at a baby shower ceremony. → The music video of "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" shows the film's ensemble cast and leads Madhuri Dixit and Salman Khan dancing at a baby shower ceremony.
Done
  • The song became immensely popular upon release hitting various charts → The song gained popularity after its release, with it reaching various music charts
Done
  • Dixit's dance and looks were adored in general and after watching this song, artist M. F. Husain found his muse in Dixit and later went on to produce a series of paintings on her. → Dixit's dance and looks throughout the clip were met with good reviews. After watching the song's video, artist M. F. Husain found his muse in Dixit and went on to paint a series of paintings on her.
Done

Video

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Section status:

Resolved comments
*Rename the section to "Music video"
Done
  • The synopsis of the video need citation.
Not done. Inline with WP:FILMPLOT a≠nd MOS:PLOT the video itself is the primary source and hence does not need citation.
  • features majority -> features the majority
Done
  • in the celebration event -> at a celebration event,
Done
  • While Nisha acts of being a pregnant lady with a pillow stuffed belly -> While Nisha is presented as a pregnant lady with a pillow stuffed belly
Done
  • and especially -> , especially
Done
  • He also hits Nisha's bum with a marigold flower flung with a slingshot -> He also hits Nisha's bum with a marigold flower, using a slingshot.
Done
  • But all the ladies at last beat the fake Prem. -> The video continues into the fake Frem being beaten by all the present ladies.
Done
  • It's then that the real Prem, who is secretly watching the drama, comes in and hits Nisha's bum again with a marigold flower. -> Then, the real Prem, who was secretly watching the comic skit, comes in and hits Nisha's bum again with a marigold flower.
Done
  • Prem jumps -> Following this, Prem jumps
Done
  • Afraid of being caught red handed in imitating him, Nisha and Rita try to escape his grasp. -> this sentence is unclear, try to re-form it
Done. Rephrased to "Afraid of being caught red handed in imitating him, Nisha and Rita try to run away." Is this okay?
  • But unexpectedly when caught -> Surprisingly,
Done
  • Pardoning him at last, the song ends -> The video ends
Done
  • Left out "now"
Done
  • pregnant belly -> pregnant belly dancer
Rephrased whole sentence to "The video ends with Prem faking a pregnant lady in lingerie." Is that okay?
  • Amongst the prominent star cast of the film, Bindu, Himani Shivpuri, Priya Arun, Laxmikant Berde, are also seen in the song -> needs citation
Ditto as point two. Video itself is source.
  • Left out "which is quite typical of many Bollywood songs" as it's unrelevant
Done

Production

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Section status:

Resolved comments
*Penned by Dev Kohli -> Written by Dev Kohli
Done
  • and sung by -> and performed by
Done
  • The film was director Sooraj R. Barjatya's second film. His debut film Maine Pyar Kiya also featured Kohli, Raamlaxman, Mangeshkar and Balasubrahmanyam. -> Hum Aapke Hain Koun..! was Sooraj R. Barjatya's second film, following Maine Pyar Kiya, which also featured Kohli, Raamlaxman, Mangeshkar and Balasubrahmanyam.
Done
  • He had about 50 sessions with Barjatya while the film's script was being written for finalizing the music and recording of all songs took 3 months. -> He had about 50 sessions with Barjatya. The finishing of the script and finalizing the music and recording of all songs took 3 months.
Done
  • This song is said to be inspired by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's song "Saare Nabian". -> According to The Times Of India, "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" is inspired by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's song "Saare Nabian".
Done
  • "Hum Aapke Hai Koun...! marked the beginning of Bollywood's family films in the 1990s and narrated a story of an Indian elite family in a globalized world." has too much fancruft in it; try to reword it in a more neutral way.
How about omitting "in a globalized world"? §§Dharmadhyaksha§§ {Talk / Edits} 09:04, 3 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Someone else already did it for you Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:33, 4 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Didi Tera..." is cited as the best example where the grandeur of the sets is visible. -> The music video for "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" is cited as the best example to showcase the grandeur of the sets.
Done
  • The sequence where Prem hangs from the chandelier gives the whole top view of the room full of women in tradition clothes. -> The sequence which portrays Prem hanging on a chandelier gives the whole top view of a room full of women sporting traditional clothes.
Done
  • "Tracking shots have been used to enhance the presence of crowd and various angels have helped in picturing various perspective." may be unclear to readers.
@Cartoon network freak: How about rephrasing it to "To picture various perspectives, tracking shots and variety of camera angles have been used." This will have two wikilinks to technical terms of cinematography. §§Dharmadhyaksha§§ {Talk / Edits} 04:20, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
@Dharmadhyaksha: Perfect way! Do it so!
Done.
  • The eighth reference should be present after all sentences that follow "were omitted from the lyrics".
Done
Someone else did it for you Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:33, 4 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

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Section status:

Resolved comments
*The song became immensely popular upon its release. The song itself in retail audio sales earned over ₹11.7 crore (US$1.8 million) and topped the charts of Philips Top 10, BPL Oye! and Superhit Muqabla even before the film was released. → The song gained popularity upon its release, bringing sales of over ₹11.7 crore (US$1.8 million), and topping the charts Philips Top 10, BPL Oye! and Superhit Muqabla even before the film was released.
Done
  • The 9th reference should be also present after even before the film was released.
Done
  • Set a commma after of the album
Done
  • and with same packaging styles as the Gramophone Co. of India did. → ,which were styled with the same package of Gramophone Co. India's works.
Done
  • the record is not from original sound track but only a version of different artists. → the record makes not part of the original soundtrack, being only an alternative version.
Can't alter this, its a verbatim quote.
OK now! Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:08, 12 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The 10th reference should also be present after "India's works".
Done
  • Remove Lata Mangeshkar who debuted in 1940s as singer had reduced her playback career in 1990s singing only selected songs..
I see that this line became unreferenced since the ref was removed with this edit. I agree with that edit summary and hence have added better source now.
  • Coming out of this sabbatical, she sang more than 10 songs for this film → Mangeshkar recorded more than 10 song for Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!.
Done
  • Remove Since the inception of the Best Playback Singer category in the Filmfare Awards in 1959, Mangeshkar dominated the Female Playback Singer category till 1969, when she chose to part with the award to encourage other singers..
Actually Mangeshkar had opted out from being nominated under "Best Female Playback singer" category and hence she would not be receiving the filmfare for this song. But due to public demand she has been given the special award, which does not have nominations as such and still acknowledged her work. Removing this sentence would not clarify this. Same for below point. Added ref for this.
  • So popular was the public demand of the song "Didi Tera...", the Filmfare presented her with a Special award. → "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" was prised with a Special award by the Filmfare.
See reply above.
  • The official citation of the award was: → The official introduction of the award was:
Not done. Its being called "citation" and not "introduction" on various articles of Category:National Film Awards (India) and other related mentions.
Got it now! Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:08, 12 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lata Mangeshkar won a special Filmfare award for the song, on public demand. -> Lata Mangeshkar won a special Filmfare award for "Didi Tera Devar Deewana"
Done
  • Remove "even" in the first sentence.
Done
  • The music production house -> Furthermore, the music production house HMV over 30 lakh tapes.
Done
  • audio copyrights of the album -> audio copyrights of the song
Done
  • in market audio cassettes titled "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun", which were styled with the same package of Gramophone Co. India's works. -> audio cassettes titled "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun", which were packaged with the same cover sleeve of Gramophone Co. India's publishings.
Done
  • The Delhi High Court ruled in favour of plaintiff directing Super Cassette Industries to not use similar packing for their version recording and also to highlight that "the record is not from original sound track but only a version of different artists." -> The Delhi High Court ruled in favour of Gramophone Co. India, directing that Super Cassette Industries have not to use similar packing for their product. Furthermore, they highlighted that "the record is not from the original soundtrack, being only an alternative version."
Done
  • Lata Mangeshkar who debuted in 1940s as singer had reduced her playback career in 1990s singing only selected songs. -> Lata Mangeshkar, who debuted in the 1940s as a singer, had reduced her playback activity in the 1990s, with it performing only selected songs.
Done
  • She sang -> She recorded
Done
  • category in the -> category at the
Done
  • till 1969 -> untill 1969
Done
  • when she chose to part with the award to encourage other singers. -> when she chose to part the award with fellow singers, for encouraging them.
Done
  • So popular was the public demand of the song "Didi Tera...", the Filmfare presented her with a Special award. -> "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" was praised on public demand with a Special award during the Filmware Awards ceremony.
Done
  • Create a section named "Controversy", in which you should include "In 1995, the Gramophone Co. of India, which owned the audio copyrights of the song, filed suit against Super Cassette Industries for bringing audio cassettes in market titled "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun", which were packaged with the same cover sleeve of Gramophone Co. India's publishings.[10] The Delhi High Court ruled in favour of Gramophone Co. India, directing that Super Cassette Industries have not to use similar packing for their product. Furthermore, they highlighted that "the record is not from the original soundtrack, being only an alternative version."[10]"
Done

Legacy

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Section status:

Resolved comments
*Dixit draped a bright purple jaded satin saree with a backless khidki blouse. The saree was reported to have cost ₹1.5 million (US$22,000). -> Dixit draped a bright purple jaded satin saree with a backless khidki-blouse; the saree was reported to cost ₹1.5 million (US$22,000).
Done
  • The scene before the song when she walks down the stairs and Khan remains stunned gapping at her, is remembered as one of the iconic scenes. -> A scene in the film which portrays her walking down the stairs with Khan remaining stunned gapping at her was pointed out as an iconic scene.
Done
  • The saree and the backless blouse, designed by Anna Singh, is one of the "most talked about sarees". -> Designed by Anna Singh, the saree and the backless blouse was described as one of the "most talked about sarees" by both The Tribune and The Times of India.
Done
  • It became popular amongst the masses and was merchandized and sold in large numbers with dolls also being marketed. -> It became popular and was made available for purchase in various shops around the world, with it selling in large numbers. Dolls sporting this outfit were also marketed.
Done
  • in this purple saree -> in the purple saree
Done
  • after watching "Didi Tera..." in the film -> after watching the part of Hum Aapke Hai Koun...! where "Didi Tera Devar Deewana" is performed.
Done
  • You can leave out "Earlier he had walked out of the film theater in Ahmedabad half way but on insistence of his friends came back the other time to see the full film", as it's irrelevant.
Done
  • Leave out "became infatuated with Dixit and", as it's too much fancruft
Done
  • Hussain said, -> Hussain confessed:
Done
  • He produced a series of paintings -> He painted a series of paintings
Done
  • with Meryl Streep, leaning -> with Meryl Streep leaning
Done
  • "Didi Tera..", but in a nine yards Maharashtrian saree. -> "Didi Tera Devar Deewana", however this time sporting a nine yards Maharashtrian saree.
Done
  • Hussain formed a collaborative company Madhuri-McBull Creations which later on also went on to produce the 2000 film Gaja Gamini. The artistic film, that failed to succeed at the box office, had Dixit play various roles like Shakuntala and Mona Lisa. -> Hussain formed a collaborative company, Madhuri-McBull Creations, which went on to produce the film Gaja Gamini in 2000 that had Dixit playing various roles like Shakuntala and Mona Lisa.
Done

References

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Section status:

Procedural comment

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@Dharmadhyaksha: Now, as all sections are OK, I'm going to read the full article within the next week and tell you if any section needs retouching. Cheers! Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:50, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Now, after I looked over it, I can say that I found no other issue. Congratulations, Passed! Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:23, 28 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks a lot @Cartoon network freak:!! §§Dharmadhyaksha§§ {Talk / Edits} 04:29, 29 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.