Talk:Dick Donovan/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Taking this review as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

General

Hyphens should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

Lead

Wikilink the term winning percentage
"Donovan struggled in 1960 and moved to the bullpen," - and was moved

Early life

"where he played shortstop until converting to pitcher his senior year." - the text in bold can be written to say to a pitcher for his senior year. or to a pitcher in his senior year.
Wikilink exhibition game for those unfamiliar with the sports term
"Donovan's pitching caught the eye of Boston Braves' scout Jeff Jones," - more formal; can be written to say either attracted the notice, impressed or attracted the attention

Early years

"He made his major league debut April 24," - debut on April 24,
"Donovan started the year with the Braves, then spent most of the year in Milwaukee," - repetition of the word "year"
"Fearing he would get stuck in the minor leagues," - remain
"and he helped the Brewers win the American Association pennant.[2][1]" - refs in numerical order please
"with the exception of a brief call-up in late May/early June." - late May to early June.
“It brought me under the wing of [Whitlow] Wyatt." Wyatt, a former pitcher for the Dodgers," - Try not to have the last word of a sentence start the next one like this
"taught Donovan how to throw a slider while Donovan was at Atlanta." - repetition of the word "Donovan"
"Donovan made the Tigers out of spring training but only appeared in two games before the Tigers" - repetition of the word "Tigers"

Chicago White Sox

You might want to say briefly who Bob Keegan was
"though he did not pitch in the game.[11][1]" - again, the references are better off placed in numerical order
"His record was 13-2 July 20" - 13–2 on July 20
"Donovan finished his first full season in the big leagues" - please avoid using the term "big leagues"
"Donovan gave up three runs in 7 2⁄3" - do you mean 7 2⁄3 innings?
"When he faced Kansas City August 15," - faced Kansas City on August 15,
"Against Cleveland August 31," - similar issue to the one above
"Donovan threw a shutout against Cleveland May 25, 1957," - again the same as the two previous queries raised above
"He gave up four runs" - how about substituting the word "gave up" with relinquished
Wikilink doubleheader for non-Sports fans
"Eight and three on July 3," - please clarify what is meant with regards of the text I've highlighted in bold
"There was a bright spot for him on June 15," - try to rewrite the text in bold to a more formal way of writing
"He came alive" - same issue as above
"the second half of the season," - the word during or in should be added to the beginning of this text
"He had a bit of a skid to start 1959;" - try to reword the text in bold so that it is more formal
"Donovan was 9-6 September 2" - on September 2
"After only going 2 2⁄3 in a no-decision" - feel like there is a word missing after the text in bold
"a July 29 game against the Senators in which he gave up" - relinquished for variety
"but it was still 5.38, highest it had been in any of Donovan's full major league seasons." - the highest

Washington Senators

Wikilink Sports Illustrated
"as his stellar 2.40 ERA (a career-low) led the American League." - avoiding using non-neutral wording such as "stellar"

Cleveland Indians

Wikilink the term Opening Day
"he shut out the Red Sox April 10." - on April 10
"He got off to an 8-0 start," - try He commenced with an
"Again, he was selected to both All-Star Games," - Donovan was again selected to play both All-Star Games,
"September 4, he limited the White Sox to two runs" - During a game on September 4,
"(tops in the AL)" - (topping the AL standings)
Wikilink Sporting News
"July 5, he held the Yankees to one run," - On July 5,
"Against the White Sox in the second game of a doubleheader September 6," - during September 6,
"he gave up 16 hits" - you can change the word in bold to relinquished for variety

Playing style

"when coach (and later manager) Whitlow Wyatt helped teach it to him." - I think the parentheses should be deleted to avoid sounding like a side-note

Personal life

"Donovan married his wife, Patricia Casey, on February 7, 1959. Patricia, from Quincy, Massachusetts, was a stewardess for United Airlines." - think these two sentences can be merged into one and shortened
"he earned his stockbroker's license and joined the reputable firm of Eastman & Dillon in Boston." - more concise; joined Boston-based firm Eastman & Dillon.
"He died from cancer January 6, 1997." - on January 6, 1997.

References

References 3, 32, 35, 42, 43 & 52 are missing the page numbers on the various news articles can be found within them
The work field in Reference 37 should be changed from Prescott Evening Courier to Baseball-Reference

Am going to place the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/respond to the queries raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:53, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Sanfranciscogiants17: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:19, 8 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]