Talk:Devil in a New Dress/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 04:05, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Review

No dablinks

Lead

Lead is too convoluted. Also, ref might no be on the lead if they appear on the article body. And, if they're on the lead because they don't appear on the AB, please fix that issue (if exists).

Done

"The song was the only one on the album not produced by West, instead produced Bink!, and written by West, Ross, Malik Jones and Bink!." → ""Devil in a New Dress" was produced by Bink!. It was the only song in the album not to be produced by West, who wrote it alongside the former, Ross and Malik Jones."

Done

"Built on a sample of Smokey Robinson's quiet storm recording "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow", "Devil in a New Dress" contains lyrics about lust and heartache." → "The song samples Smokey Robinson's quiet storm recording "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow", and is themed lyrically to lust and heartache."

Done

"It has received several remixes and freestyles from several notable musicians" → "It has been remixed from several musicians".

Not done Still to be done
Now done

The freestyle is a type of remix, and "notable" is needless and POV.

Done

""such as J. Cole, Jay Electronica and Joell Ortiz, amongst others". Delete "amongst others", as it doesn't add nothing to the phrase.

Done

"Ross released a music video, showcasing his verse, and the song was prominently featured in Runaway, a 35 minute short film directed by Kanye West set to music from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy." → "Ross promoted the song releasing a music video in which he showcased his verse. Also, the song was prominently featured in Runaway, a 35 minute short film directed by Kanye West set to music from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy."

Done

—Hahc 21 16:20, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

History

"The song was often rumored to be a song that would be featured on West's new album, even being featured on a leaked rumored tracklist." → "The song was often rumored to be featured on West's new album, appearing on a leaked tracklist."

Done

"It was later confirmed it would appear My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, though the original track was vastly different to the one finally appearing on the album." → "It was later confirmed it would appear on the album but on a vastly different version."

Done

"The album version featured a guitar solo, remastered production and a verse delivered by rapper Rick Ross, who West approached with the proposition of being on the song." → "The remastered album version featured a guitar solo and a new verse by rapper Rick Ross, who was approached by West with the proposition of being featured on the song".

Done

"The song was a collaboration between West and Bink!, who Pitchfork Media stated "is most famous for his contributions to Jay-Z's pioneering LP The Blueprint"" → "The song was a producing collaboration between West and Bink!, who has been "most famous for his cotributions" to Jay-Z's "pioneering album", The Blueprint (2001), as stated by Pitchfork Media."

Done

Composition and lyrics

Suggestion: Separate into two paragraphs, one for the composition and remixes and the other for the lyrical content and critical commentary. This way, it's better for the reader.

Reception

Suggestion: Separate into two paragraphs. One for the mostly positive revoews and the other for the mixed to positive and mixed. This way is better.

Both have been done to the best of my abilities I believe.

Covers

Wolves In Sheeps Clothing is a song? If it's a song, then it must be "Wolves In Sheeps Clothing".

Done

I went and mase some minor edits.
I rewrote the caption for the second sample.

Thank you!

Promotion

I went and made some minor edits.
Moved the image to the left. It's better of the sample above is on the right.

Again, thank you.

More comments

Lead

On the lead, yuu don't mention nothing about the critical reception nor the chart position. Please add a summary of those two sections to the lead.

Done

Track listing

This section is missing. Please create it with this information: [1] [2]

Er... done?

Composition

"Consequence of Sound called it a "soulful track" → No, "Alex Young from Consequence of Sound called it a "soulful track"

Done

References

The following are suggestions that could do well to the article.

General: Keep a consistent date format: I've seen both 2011-02-26 and September 4, 2010.
R#1 — publisher: Rovi Corporation is missing.
R#2 — publisher: Viacom International is missing
R#3 — Title doesn't go completely capitalized.
R#4 — It's Young, Alex not Alex, Young
R#5 — Good
R#6 — Same as #2
R#7 — Same as 32
R#8 — Same as #1. Additionally, on #1 you have Allmusic, and here you haveAllmusic. Be consistent.
R#9 — Slant Magazine goes italiziced, since its a magazine. If you're using {{cite web}}, then Slant Mag. goes on work=
R#10 — The UPC code is missing.
R#11 — Link The Independent
R#12 — publisher: Sun-Times Media Group
R#16 — Same as #2
R#19 — Dead
R#24 — Decapitalize the title
R#25 — Same as #24
R#32 — Same as #24

Done I believe.

After the issue above are solved, it continue with the prose comments and checking the references. I'll put it on hold. —Hahc 21 16:54, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've provided more comments. Cheers! —Hahc 21 21:39, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Incredible. Good job. I'm passing the article. Now let's get to the other article of yours that i've picked up for review. Cheers! —Hahc 21 23:19, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]